significant others

april522

I posted a blog regarding this because I didn't want to put the entire thing here as well (it's pretty lengthy). It's in regards to significant others who lack the desire to loose weight when they need to be doing something. Go read it if you'd like; I'm curious if anyone else has this issue.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/april522/view/significant-others-30447

kdiamond

Yep. My husband despises exercise and loves rich, decadent foods (who doesn't, right?) - he's an Italian! When we first got married, we were in decent shape, worked out a few times a week, played hockey, etc.. Of course the year of marriage takes its toll and we were both overweight for our heights. I got pregnant, had a baby, got pregnant again, had another baby, then I was 27 years old with 2 little kids and I looked chubby and I HATED it. I felt too young to not look good...I wanted to be the hot mom!! So I started working out at home and replaced all of the bad foods with good ones. I cook every meal except lunch for him (he's at work) so I know what is going in his mouth. I even give him his plate...there is no cheating in this house. We don't have ice cream in the house unless it is strawberry, which I like and he won't eat. He has no willpower...if I say I don't want to go to this restaurant because I don't want to eat that food, he whines and complains and tells me "you're already hot, why don't you live a little?".

There it is folks. The reason I have stayed this way (or have gotten in better shape even) over the last 5 years is because I am not on a diet. This is how I am now. I like being this way!! I feel better, look great, fit in tiny clothes, look good in a bikini...way more important to me than eating a big plate of pasta! And he doesn't really feel this way...he feels like if he goes to a restaurant he should order whatever he wants...I feel I should get a salad or something light. I don't understand the lack of willpower on his part, and it drives me crazy! I even force him to workout every night at home, and he thinks I am being annoying or something! WTH! I am trying to make you healthier! He calls me the "Fitness Nazi". Oh well!!! Such is life. Maybe one day I will rub off on him, if not, I am not gonna change my ways!

ZebraHead

Sorry - Didn't read it but I can say my wife was on MFP a full 3 months before me. I saw her progress and determination. Being the 'perfect' :blushing: husband that I am, and realizing that I was about 100 lbs from where I wanted to be I joined her. We have been together on MFP as we are in life ever since.

lauraparkerrr

I'm very lucky, even though at first my boyfriend stuck to his unhealthy diet when I started eating healthier but was he was very supportive and still is but now he has started going to the gym and watching what he eats. I am very proud of him

Shy1979

My husband is very active, and eats pretty much whatever he likes. He does like eating veggies and fruit, however he eats lots of unhealthy stuff too. And the most frustrating thing is, that he seems unable to gain a pound, no matter what he eats. While I'm watching every bite, and have to work out to not gain anything. But I'm glad that he is an active person, that motivates me to be more active myself.

princessorchid

My boyfriend has the most annoyingly fast metabolism. I met him when he was 17 and I was 20 and started dating him when he was 27 and I was 30. When we got together we weighed almost the same - about 140lbs for me and maybe just a smidge more for him. A year and a half on of eating roast dinners and not exercising as much as we should have and I've gained about 30lbs...and he's stayed the same.

*kitten*!

santosha85

I find having a significant other who doesn't support you in your weight lose journey is really hard. My boyfriend hates to excercise and refuses to eat healthy. He is always thinking about food! As soon as I get home from work and walk through the door the first question he asks me is what's for supper. (If I didn't cook for him he would live off of Mc D's) Everytime we go out shopping he has to buy something to eat. If we are just grocery shopping he has to have Tim Hortons to eat while we shop. We moved in together just over a year ago and in about 6 months I gain 20 lbs and after realizing how unhealthy I was becoming I am on a mission to lose the extra pounds. I had asked him if he would like to join me and got a very firm NO. So I am in this on my own!

AKosky585

I just posted this on your blog as well....:)

I am in a similar situation. My husband is 295 pounds...he has gained 25 in the 3 years we have been together. He doesn't exercise at all and has similar eating patterns...2 meals a day. His work is done on his computer..he just graduated 2 months ago but will not look for a job. He wants something in his 3D animation and needs to get a portfolio together to apply. Problem is, he plays World of Warcraft ALLLLL freakin day instead of working on this portfolio so he can get a job in what he WANTS. We are newlyweds and have to live with my mom because my full time work at a grocery store while I finish school does not make enough to get a place of our own. I work near full time, go to school, work out, cook, clean, etc. He was walking with me several times a week, but hasn't in awhile now. Not even a leisurely walk at the end of the day for 30 minutes. THAT would be better than nothing. It IS frustrating, so I know what you are going through.

I know 195 lbs for him is not THAT much, however, his mom is extremely overweight and has a bunch of health problems because of it. He is only 26. I worry that if he doesnt start watching now, things will only get worse.

The only advice I can really give is to do what you can to get your boyfriend eating better. 90/10 hamburger is good, but make him maybe one 5oz burger and a vegetable. It sounds like you are doing all of the cooking, so chances are if you substituted healthier options he really wouldn't notice. Maybe you are already doing this. I found some really good turkey sausages at the store the other day. They taste like a regular brat but are HALF the calories and over HALF of the fat. They are 92/7. My husband loved them.

Again, maybe you are already doing this, but try to get your boyfriend out on walks with you without making it sound like exercise and like its about him losing weight/getting healthier. Make it more into wanting to spend time together. Do your regular workouts and try to start out doing a 15 minute leisurely walk to talk and catch up on what happened that day. It will be a little something extra for you, and something, period, for him.

Again, I understand your frustration and concern. Good luck and if you need/want to vent or talk some more, feel free to message me.

april522

My boyfriend actually supports me in my weight loss. He tells me he can definitely see a difference since I've started. It's annoying though that he's thinking in terms of all the wonderful things I can wear - and not my health benefiting from this.

kdiamond - my boyfriend would NEVER eat what I gave him on his plate. There would be no way to stop him from going back to get a whopping second plate after eating a whopping first plate. One time I thought I'd try that, and it didn't work out so well.

Zebrahead, that's awesome that you joined MFP after your wife. I thought seeing me eat right and exercise would be somewhat motivating to my boyfriend, but it hasn't changed one habit of his since November 2009.

santosha, I would rather my boyfriend NOT go grocery shopping with me! If he did, he'd be picking out "cheap" meals to eat - like frozen lasagna, tacos, and who knows what else. Usually he goes for the cheaper items - so if the lowfat cheese is more expensive, he doesn't want to get it. I understand saving money, but eating healthy isn't quite as cheap as having tacos, hamburgers, or bagel bites for your meals.

AKoshy, I feel for you with the Warcraft thing. I don't mind if my boyfriend plays it, but he spends way too many hours a day doing so (or should I say too many hours a night). He's still in bed right now (12:30pm). There are a few things we do in our work stuff that needs to be done together (planning, building the business, etc), but when are we ever going to do that when he's sleeping all day. He wants to ask if I want to watch a movie at like 8:30 at night, and I'm like, "No! I've been up since 7 this morning and haven't stopped going all day! I'm tired." I'm usually in bed by 9:30, looking through a magazine before going to sleep. I hate that your husband won't even get a portfolio together so he can get a job, and then you two could have your own place.

I've actually tried to get him to take walks, and he'll say, "naaaah, not right now" or "I don't want to," or the excuse I'd get now is, "It's too hot outside." I do prepare healthier foods now, but then, when he eats 3 servings at once, it's still a lot of calories.