Significant others

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  • sastacular
    sastacular Posts: 15 Member
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    If you would like her to take interest in it as well, is there a way you can make it more fun for her? Such as joining a sport together? How about dancing? Hikes/long walks together? Maybe she will feel more interested if it's an activity you can do together vs. something like going to a gym.
  • dvis334
    dvis334 Posts: 125 Member
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    Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.

    Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol
  • Splitbygreg
    Splitbygreg Posts: 133 Member
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    I had a gf at one time that wasn't into fitness as I was....she complained about me going to the gym and being late to things because I stayed in the gym longer than she preferred....we aren't together any longer. :smile:
  • Splitbygreg
    Splitbygreg Posts: 133 Member
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    dvis334 wrote: »
    Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.

    Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol

    Nice!
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
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    Honestly, figure out if it is going to be Key or not. My wife does not have the same love or interest in Fitness as I do, but I am OK with that. Fitness is not her thing, but she does not get in my way, she supports me on many levels. Though for some people that is a deal breaker. And maybe your spouse will come around, maybe she will not. I am not sure that what you say will bring her to it, I have a number of friends where they didn't come around.
  • nonoark
    nonoark Posts: 153 Member
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    Many women feel that when a man takes part in improving his looks it is to attain the interest of others. Unfortunately, there are too many (of both sexes) that have lost weight and found the attention of others to be too much fun. This in turn has broken up too many relationships. There are 3 people that I work with now who have entered into some type of weight loss (pills, operation or just watching what they ate) and have found themselves in broken relationships. One girl went for the operation just to get the attention of guy that broke up with her. Maybe try going on walks with your girl and bringing a picnic. This will bring out a little romantic side and include her in on the exercise. Little steps may show her there is another side of you that wants to ignite your relationship with her as the benefactor.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I would feel suffocated if my husband suddenly wanted to join me in the gym

    We have an amazing marriage, been together nearly 20 years, kids, dog, general contentment and totally happy

    He's loved me fat and thin

    My gym habit is less than 2 years old ...but it's mine ...my thing...my peace....my sanctuary

    Happy for him to go to the gym...but not when I do

    Fortunately he's a cyclist so ne'er the twain shall meet
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    dvis334 wrote: »
    Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.

    Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol

    Wow she's done a lot in 2 days :bigsmile:
  • dvis334
    dvis334 Posts: 125 Member
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    rabbitjb wrote: »
    dvis334 wrote: »
    Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.

    Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol

    Wow she's done a lot in 2 days :bigsmile:

    Lol not Really sure how to respond to this. Takes about 30 minutes to sign up at the Y and about 5 to see that they offer cycling classes. Oh and 30 seconds to text me about it Lol maybe I should have made classes singular As we've only been to one together? Haha
  • emilyyytuckerrr
    emilyyytuckerrr Posts: 45 Member
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    This is actually why I'm single. I have yet to find someone who will live a similar lifestyle as myself. It's a huge turn off being told "you're at the gym too much" or "you take this too seriously". Like if you can support me working my *kitten* off, then we don't need to be together. Also the last guy I dated always wanted to eat fast food when I cooked every single day. He would say "I don't want chicken again. I want Taco Bell" no no no. Lol I just rather stay single honestly
  • TheArchyBunker
    TheArchyBunker Posts: 1,967 Member
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    dvis334 wrote: »
    My girlfriend is absolutely not interested at all in fitness, nutrition, or motivating/encouraging. This is a huge problem considering ive resolved to make fitness an integral part of my life. Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??

    My wife. The harder I push myself it seems the more she lets her self go and tries to sabotage my goals and change my ideals and education on.our kids byt loadinf our house with cakes and chips.
  • jd_racer
    jd_racer Posts: 23 Member
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    dvis334 wrote: »
    My girlfriend is absolutely not interested at all in fitness, nutrition, or motivating/encouraging. This is a huge problem considering ive resolved to make fitness an integral part of my life. Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??

    My wife. The harder I push myself it seems the more she lets her self go and tries to sabotage my goals and change my ideals and education on.our kids byt loadinf our house with cakes and chips.

    Dude, my wife is the exact same way! When we met 8 years ago I was a huge gym rat, straight out of the Marines. Then life happens and the last two years I've gotten in the worse shape of my life. Been about 6 weeks strong back to the gym and I get nothing but attitude, passive aggressive comments, and zero support. I actually logged on today to start a post about this and then saw this post. I have no clue what to do.
  • EricaABarnes
    EricaABarnes Posts: 20 Member
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    my husband is a junk food junky! when I go shopping for the week I feel like I'm shopping for a 5 year old. I have to get tons of little Debbie snacks tons of soda a variety or frozen foods. then late at night he wants fast food! he eats all of this and never gains a pound! I don't need him to diet and exercise with me but having all of the junk around all the time makes it very hard to stick to my diets! :( but I'm doing a god job so far and I'm not gonna give in to his crap food! lol
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
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    CollieFit wrote: »
    I know it's nice to have the encouragement or support of one's other half or for them to be actively involved in some way, but really what you're saying is that because you suddenly developed this interest and you resolved to be active, that she must do too? Why should she? I think that any pressure put on her to "get involved" in your regime is only going to be met with resistance.

    I agree 100%. You can only make decisions for yourself. You cant force someone to do something they don't want to do. That's on them. Sure it would be nice if you both were into it but the fact is you both are not into it... just do your thing...maybe she will eventually join you and maybe she wont.... you cant control that. Focus on yourself.
  • jd_racer
    jd_racer Posts: 23 Member
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    hanoge wrote: »
    my husband is a junk food junky! when I go shopping for the week I feel like I'm shopping for a 5 year old. I have to get tons of little Debbie snacks tons of soda a variety or frozen foods. then late at night he wants fast food! he eats all of this and never gains a pound! I don't need him to diet and exercise with me but having all of the junk around all the time makes it very hard to stick to my diets! :( but I'm doing a god job so far and I'm not gonna give in to his crap food! lol

    I completely understand not getting encouragement and support, and that's hard enough. I mean what do you do when the negativity is downing your motivation. It's like you're fighting yourself to get going, then you have to fight your SO also. Just draining.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
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    Do what makes you feel better and healthier. My husband is always telling me I look fine, why do I want to kill myself with exercise? If he's home basically I have to sneak in some exercise because he'll just mock me and call me anorexic (I'm so not). But ya do what makes you feel good. They will come around eventually. Mine keeps saying he needs to get into shape and has bursts but generally gives up. Anyway this is my longwinded way of saying this is pretty normal and just keep at it.
  • kchuskey
    kchuskey Posts: 882 Member
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    synchkat wrote: »
    Do what makes you feel better and healthier. My husband is always telling me I look fine, why do I want to kill myself with exercise? If he's home basically I have to sneak in some exercise because he'll just mock me and call me anorexic (I'm so not). But ya do what makes you feel good. They will come around eventually. Mine keeps saying he needs to get into shape and has bursts but generally gives up. Anyway this is my longwinded way of saying this is pretty normal and just keep at it.

    Those legs tho...