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Husbands, wives and other SO's
Replies
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A spouse's responsibility is to support the other, not belittle them. Verbal abuse is still abuse.
nice0 -
lol
Tom Cruise? Is that you???
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
:laugh: bwahahahahaha although I dont think Tom Cruise even allowed for that postpartum pregnancy thing.
No, he didn't. It was I believe Brooke Shields' openness about her PPD that caused him to even speak up in the first place.0 -
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
meh not worth it0 -
My husband deserves honesty, my loyalty, support and love. My husband met me at my heaviest and despite him being fit and me being honest about my weight and me struggling with it., he still chose me. He chooses me everyday. I am not going to say he deserves a hot trophy wife because that just promises a figure that will fade in time. He DOES deserve someone who lives up to her vows and will grow old with him. He deserves to be happy and that happens to involve me growing old with him and being healthy. It also involves me being happy. That is my biggest motivation.
this is the truth lovely thought0 -
Moral of the story: Meet your SO while looking your worst, so they never have reason to complain when you start looking better!
Haha totally just kidding...If they were concerned for your health because you are morbidly obese or something, then I think it's understandable why they would try talking about it...but a couple extra pounds? No. I also think it's all in how they bring it up too. Like...hey I really wanna start playing this...do you want to come? or I want to start getting healthier, and having your support in it would be amazing...etc. It really just depends...if they are all like, you're getting fat or you need to lose weight...I'd be pretty mad.
Now, if they are that guy who's got a beer gut or likes to sit on the couch 24/7 and then criticizes your appearance, well...he's just a ****.
Interestingly enough, I read a study where people who reported being in happier, long-term relationships actually typically gained 5-10 pounds in comparison to those who were unhappy in their current situation or single. Lol0 -
My wife did not lose all the weight she gained during pregnancy. Considering the fact that they were the three greatest gifts I have ever been given, I will spend what is left of my life honoring her.
When I met her, my life changed forever. All for the better.
This made my cry so much love you have for your family.0 -
Do you know what one of my motivators is? I want my husband to have a hot wife that he can be proud of and continually find attractive. Don't get me wrong, he loves me and is proud of me all the time, but you know that weight gain can impact a relationship. I have a very good looking man, and I want him to think the same about me. So I work on myself to make sure I am happy and confident in myself so that he can appreciate me more.
I hope I worded that in a way that explains what I'm thinking.0 -
I started running while I was in a pretty depressed state. I was cycling through the stages of grief... And I just got fed up and went outside for my first attempt at running.... Felt a lil bit better... Tried again the next day.... A lil bit better. Never turned back. My husband has loved me no matter what my weight was... But I will say that after losing about 70 lbs and getting in shape (also "inspiring" him to start focusing on his health).... We've never been happier
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If I deserve better than a husband who is a jerk about my weight, doesn't my husband deserve better than an overweight wife?
The person is trying to lose weight, but the SO is being an a-hole and not trying to be a better person. I side with anyone trying to improve themselves.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...
what does pay have to do with it? Its an escape from reality. Ya gotta put on your big boy/girl pants.0 -
I agree, but unless you have been pregnant you can't speak to this. I would never use this as an excuse because weight can be lost and whoever put it on is accountable for it, but this does not give anyone the right to treat their SO as a jerk regardless of their weight.Considering a lot of weight is caused by carring said jerks babies, no. I think the wife should always be working to better herself physically, but that does not allow a SO to be a jerk...period.
weight is caused by the person who got fat and no one else. I take accountability.
Not all over weight women gained from pregnancy
Not all women "get fat" from having babies..........
This is off topic IMHO
THIS. No way. I was fat pregnant, and fat afterwards. But guess what? I got off my *kitten* and did something about it. I think being overweight comes from being unhappy. SOME women go into a depression that lingers after having children and it causes self hating and over eating. A negative husband can add to this... but in no way is it his fault. If you are unhappy you are the only one that can change it. & yes, I do think that a husband deserves a wife who takes care of herself. BUT, If he isn't supportive of lifestyle changes then he really cant expect much progress.. right?
Anywho, having children doesn't make you fat. The mindset of "Oh I am having a baby and going to be fat" DOES make you fat. Just sayin. 0 -
Anywho, having children doesn't make you fat. The mindset of "Oh I am having a baby and going to be fat" DOES make you fat. Just sayin.
Or the misconception that you are now 'eating for two'.0 -
Huh?
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...
what does pay have to do with it? Its an escape from reality. Ya gotta put on your big boy/girl pants.
When I went through my depression, I went to class and I went to work and I took care of my 5-year-old. I wasn't any less depressed.0 -
Huh?
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...
what does pay have to do with it? Its an escape from reality. Ya gotta put on your big boy/girl pants.
When I went through my depression, I went to class and I went to work and I took care of my 5-year-old. I wasn't any less depressed.
im not looking to get ijn a fight with you. Reasonable people can disagree.0 -
I started running while I was in a pretty depressed state. I was cycling through the stages of grief... And I just got fed up and went outside for my first attempt at running.... Felt a lil bit better... Tried again the next day.... A lil bit better. Never turned back. My husband has loved me no matter what my weight was... But I will say that after losing about 70 lbs and getting in shape (also "inspiring" him to start focusing on his health).... We've never been happier
Love this 0 -
Huh?
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...
what does pay have to do with it? Its an escape from reality. Ya gotta put on your big boy/girl pants.
When I went through my depression, I went to class and I went to work and I took care of my 5-year-old. I wasn't any less depressed.
im not looking to get ijn a fight with you. Reasonable people can disagree.
I am reasonable. I disagree.0 -
im not looking to get ijn a fight with you. Reasonable people can disagree.
You're not reasonable.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
Depression is a disease of affluence. FMLA wasn't the cause, it was an attempt at one of the solutions.0 -
I read so many posts from women who are upset that their husband's/BF's/SO's give them grief about their weight, and to be honest, I could have been one of them...
And many of the replies call out the husband/BF/SO as a jerk/*kitten*/douchbag,
So...
Just throwing gasoline on the fire...
If I deserve better than a husband who is a jerk about my weight, doesn't my husband deserve better than an overweight wife?
Absolutely he does! I will be nice to her when I meet her. 0 -
There is a major difference from being a jerk and being overweight. There are medical reasons some people are heavier example medications. Being a jerk, well there is no excuse for that.0
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i'm thinkin the only real way to answer that question would be for him to get overweight and for her to start acting like an *kitten*/jerk. Then sit down and have a discussion or just end it.......whichever works.0
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How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them
Most doctors prefer to just hand their patient a pill and send them on their merry way without actually doing a real diagnosis. Case in point: I was having some insomnia issues many years ago. I went to my doctor about it hoping that maybe he could give me some insight or at the worst say "Go to the store and get some melatonin." What he did was prescribe me an anti-depressant. The only thing he told me was one or two of the side effects (at the time I didn't know it was an anti-depressant until I went home and did my research)He never told me what the pills were for. I never got the prescription filled (I went the natural route) and when I got back he asked me how the pills were working and I told him I never took them. He looked shocked and disappointed in me.
So while I realize that there are people who are depressed I think that all too often doctors push pills on people who don't necessarily need them. It's easier for them to just write out a prescription for what they think is wrong then to sit down with their patient, get to the root of the actual problem and try to fix it.
And as for the "new and better drugs" that the drug companies are coming out with I have a hard time believing that anything a drug company comes out with that is then later approved by the FDA is "better". Especially when I listen to all the side effects. Anything that has been known to cause a "fatal event" isn't worth taking regardless of how bad my issue is. There are better, natural ways to treat illnesses.
Could you point out your experience with "most" doctors? All I see is one example from your personal doctor. It is your job as the patient to ask those questions that you expect him to explain to you. If you get prescribed a pill, don't bother to ask a single question about it, and then get all irate when you go home and FREAKIN' GOOGLE what it is instead of asking the doctor while you're actually there, you deserve it. :huh:0 -
Huh?
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
You realize that FMLA is unpaid, right? And... if you're in a situation, other than having/adopting a baby, that requires you to take FMLA, you may very well be depressed...
what does pay have to do with it? Its an escape from reality. Ya gotta put on your big boy/girl pants.
When I went through my depression, I went to class and I went to work and I took care of my 5-year-old. I wasn't any less depressed.
im not looking to get ijn a fight with you. Reasonable people can disagree.
What happened, did your "escape from reality" theory not play out?0
This discussion has been closed.
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