Sometimes I feel like there is no point.

abrazame

This post is pretty vain, so if vanity is something that bothers you then don't read it.

I am a female with the dreaded apple shape/inverted triangle. I know that there is no way to change my shape and apples in my opinion tend to be the lesser attractive of shapes no matter how much they weigh, or how toned they are. Sometimes they have a spongebob look to them. The last time I lost weight I noticed instead of having a rotund shape, I was taking on more of a boxy shape. I began to feel discouraged and eventually stopped trying. I genuinely looked bad either way and I was about 10 pounds from my goal.

I want to lose weight for my mental health. I generally feel fine physically but I feel good when I look good. I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with that. Actually, I think that is normal, vain as it may be.

I want to hear from other women who have ''undesirable'' bodies. Did you ever feel discouraged by your body type?

I would especially like to hear from women who have hit their goals.



Please. Nothing about Angelina jolie and her supposed Apple shape.

chandanista

Lol I am a Pear and had heard all my life that Pear was the most dreaded, that Apple was more desired. Apples get to wear shorty shorts on their quickly slimming legs and don't lose chest measurements as fast as Pears. My MIL is Apple and looks good when she takes care of herself (farm woman).

If you are looking to change your mental health that has to come from the inside, not your shape. Love yourself, your personality, your face, and eventually your shape and the rest will come.

majigurl

you said "look bad"

What image do you have that is "good".

Often body image issues has nothing to do with our shapes, but everything to do with mental health. ( exactly what you said)

Working out and getting healthy isn't only about what the body looks like, but how it feels and how you feel physically ( more energy etc)

I think you need some time to reevaluate why you are doing this. Maybe talk to someone about your body image issues.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I've seen all shapes and sizes suffer from not liking their shape.

coreyreichle

Stop worrying about your appearance, and focus on your health. Apple, pear, whatever, guys generally don't care as long as you're not carrying an extra 15% of body fat.

oocdc2

Sorry if this sounds too oversimplistic, but the only way I could accept my body (which looks like a deflated balloon sitting on two popsicle sticks, to be honest) is to accept it. I'm never going to look haut in a dress (hell, I may never find a dress that looks good on me), but I can rejoice in what weight loss *has* brought me: size 8 jeans, more energy, a feeling of accomplishment that I did something good for myself.

I'm going to second the suggestions to hash out your body perceptions with a professional neutral third-party. Even if you pay for plastic surgery and fix the box shape, it wouldn't address the bigger picture challenge of accepting and loving you for who you are; talking it out is much cheaper, too. Good luck!

ktekc

coreyreichle wrote: »

Stop worrying about your appearance, and focus on your health. Apple, pear, whatever, guys generally don't care as long as you're not carrying an extra 15% of body fat.

You are right she should focus on her health. But however worrying about if guys care about it shouldn't matter. If i based my mental happiness with myself on if guys would approve i'd never leave the house.

oocdc2

ktekc wrote: »

coreyreichle wrote: »

Stop worrying about your appearance, and focus on your health. Apple, pear, whatever, guys generally don't care as long as you're not carrying an extra 15% of body fat.

You are right she should focus on her health. But however worrying about if guys care about it shouldn't matter. If i based my mental happiness with myself on if guys would approve i'd never leave the house.

^^ True story!

Scamd83

Too many photos of 'ideal body shapes' out there that are completely unrealistic and make people end up feeling like this.

RoxieDawn

I loathed my lower half for many many years. Now I just don't care, and I have to like or love what I have been given because I can't just take pieces and parts of other bodies and put them on mine.

I do have the power to construct or transform my body if I choose to, but moreover the way I feel now is way more important and exercise comes with the gift of better health and a plus, I look better.

DezKnight

First, ask people you trust what they think are your most beautiful features are and go from there.

Second, Clean out your closet. You can min/max your body shape with the way you dress. I know it sounds lame, but seriously, if you like what you wear, and it makes you happy, you will like what you see more.

Third, (and most important) You are your own worst critic and chances are good, the things we say to ourselves, we would NEVER dream of saying out loud to another person, for some reason, we have no problem being mean to ourselves. Seriously. I have told the woman in the mirror many many times that she has the fattest *kitten* on the planet. I would sew my mouth shut before I would ever say that to another living being.

And that needs to stop.

Be as nice to yourself, as you would be to a stranger.

letsgosabres2013

@abrazame ...Don't give up! Whatever you think you look like, someone will think it is different. Attractiveness is subjective and if you work on mental health and wellness you will naturally lose more weight as your body becomes happier. Every time you show up and login to this site, you are doing a little more to work towards your goal. Nothing is easy and maintaining or lowering body weight or fat content takes a lot of time to do right.
I myself suffer with anxiety and other mental health symptoms and for people like us (assumingly), we have to work a lot harder than most people to achieve the same goal. Keep motivated, you can do it. Everything is achievable, but again, there is no easy way... Keep it up, good luck

Lounmoun

Apple shape here. I'm not at my goal yet... still about 10 lbs overweight for my height. I don't feel I look that bad. I'm more concerned about the health risks of my body shape.
When I am at a healthy weight I don't feel that my body is somehow freakish or unattractive... maybe it would have bothered me more 20-30 years ago. I worked hard at one point to find things to like about myself. I figured that out and got over being so negative.
I don't know what to tell you. I'm just happy to be healthier and not to look pregnant that I don't care how I look compared to other body shapes. I always have nice legs and arms.

I suppose it depends on your goals and your mental space how you will feel about your body. If you are negative or are comparing yourself to others a lot you are probably going to be more dissatisfied and want to give up than if you are looking at all the positives or focusing less on appearances.

scolaris

There's so much to unpack here it's hard to know where to begin...
First of all, how is it ever 'not worth it' to reduce the strain on ones heart & joints, avoid blood sugar imbalance or hypertension, move more freely, and be more fit overall?
Secondly, just because you personally don't 'love' your natural body type doesn't mean someone else won't. Focus on what you love in others. Your passion & authenticity will attract people to you.
Thirdly, it sounds like you have some real body dysmorphia driving this, and I suspect it's from too much time spent in the 'Victoria's-Secret-sports-Illustrated-Kardashian-Komplex' world. Familiarize yourself with a better group of notable women. Start looking at Olympic athletes, serious stage actresses, professional dancers & musicians. You'll encounter lots of different 'types ' of bodies, each at their own personal physical peak. That fake little world people like the kardashian girls are selling is a stupid and reductive place anyway. You are so much better than that.
Finally, on the most superficial level of all, we don't all walk around naked all the time... Clothing choices can be made that maximize favorite features, minimize others, and create the illusion of a classic 'hourglass' shape on any reasonably fit body. Immerse yourself in that very real fashion discipline if you are so inclined. It can be very empowering.
Best wishes! xo

ald783

The fact of the matter is that not one of of us here is going to end up looking like a Victoria's Secret model at any weight. That doesn't mean there aren't still plenty of benefits of losing weight, but physically/vanity-related and health, fitness, etc. I understand being motivated by how you look, but you have to get to a point in life where you spend energy on the things you can change and stop stressing over the things you can't. You will literally never be able to change your underlying build and certain things about your body. It sucks but it's what it is, and I'm sure everyone here has something they wish was different. The key is to just give up the dream of changing things you can't change.

Focus on positives. Every body shape has some advantages.. apple shapes tend to have smaller arms and legs, for example. I'm not saying that's all it's about, but if you're stressed out over how you look, at least take some time to appreciate the good things. But beyond that, just keep your expectations realistic. Losing weight is good for every part of your life.. physical, mental, emotional. Hardly anyone loves the way they look 100% of the time but that's not the only way to feel good about yourself. Find some things your body can do that you appreciate.. whether it's strong legs or good endurance or great upper body strength. Focus on the positives and work on making changes to things within your control, but give up on things that are not. Life is too short!

MikaMojito

You know, that hourglass shape really isn't all it's cracked up to be either. Even when I'm overweight, I have a visible waistline but due to their size, my boobs started to go south when I was still in my teens. And even when I'm in "normal" size range, getting things to fit over my hips is no walk in the park. Neither my excess weight weight nor my saggy boobs nor my considerable hip/*kitten* region has ever stopped people from loving me both inside and out.

Some days I manage to love myself, sometimes I struggle. But that's the same for people of absolutely every size, shape, colour.

CasperNaegle

First we all struggle and have days we think, *kitten* all this work and I still have this or that to try and work through. Don't base yourself on what you think others are thinking. If you get fit, healthy, athletic you will feel better in the long run. Don't give up, it's worth the journey!

elaineamj

I am the classic hourglass - that's good, right? However, it's on a short, stumpy body and I'm curvy to the extent that even at an ideal weight, it's easy to still look like I have a few pounds extra. It sucks - but nobody ever said life was going to be fair. Thankfully, I have a long and lean DD - I can admire her body whenever I need When she was little, I used to joke that she was my dress-up doll....I could put on the most awesome outfits on her, stuff I could never in a million years wear myself.

My journey to get fit is so I can be active and healthy (and to look better in clothes LOL!) And like a PP said - t's best to just get on with it and focus on all the awesome things a thinner, healthier body can do. I love doing so many active things and I hate how my extra pounds have been holding me back.

On the plus side, since I stopped worrying so much about how dumb I look - I have sooo many more fun things I love to do. A few years back, my DH finally coaxed me to learn tennis. Uncoordinated me took about a year to learn how to serve the darn ball and I looked completely stupid throughout the learning process. But I learned and although I'm still not particularly good, I have a lot of fun on the courts.

Nikion901

abrazame wrote: »

This post is pretty vain, so if vanity is something that bothers you then don't read it.

I am a female with the dreaded apple shape/inverted triangle. I know that there is no way to change my shape and apples in my opinion tend to be the lesser attractive of shapes no matter how much they weigh, or how toned they are. Sometimes they have a spongebob look to them. The last time I lost weight I noticed instead of having a rotund shape, I was taking on more of a boxy shape. I began to feel discouraged and eventually stopped trying. I genuinely looked bad either way and I was about 10 pounds from my goal.

I want to lose weight for my mental health. I generally feel fine physically but I feel good when I look good. I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with that. Actually, I think that is normal, vain as it may be.

I want to hear from other women who have ''undesirable'' bodies. Did you ever feel discouraged by your body type?

I would especially like to hear from women who have hit their goals.



Please. Nothing about Angelina jolie and her supposed Apple shape.

I had to quote your post to get it in front of me so I could answer specifically the question you asked.

Yes, I have an 'undesirable' body ... it is fat all over with a big belly and a huge butt to compensate that belly. My arms and legs used to be thin but the upper arms and thighs are pretty big now as well. Would I consider it an apple? maybe.

I'm not kidding myself that when I finally get back to a healthy weight that my body will become 'desirable' in that fashion sense. I'm just looking for a healthy feel to it.

No,, I haven't hit my goal yet ... it's a big one, but I am about 1/3 of the way there.
Good luck on yours.

stealthq

"I genuinely looked bad either way and I was about 10 pounds from my goal."

So you thought you looked bad heavier, and you thought you looked bad thinner. I don't think that's particularly unusual. Pick the thinner one for health if nothing else. Start working on your image of yourself. Experiment with different styles of clothing - maybe you're stuck in a rut and need a change to appreciate the thinner you. Also work on not focusing on your physical appearance so much - like others have said, you're undoubtedly your own worst critic.

Lizzy622

I just learned that the extra weight does not feel good. I have less energy because so much is taken up to haul around the extra pounds. I can't change my body type and can only minimally change my shape so I focus in on being healthy.
Live life to its fullest by being the best you you can be.

triggerpuller702

I'm not a female, but as a Marine and bodybuilder I have hit many, many goals over the years in terms of my body, weight, or fitness goals. I completed an Ironman and a marathon after nearly losing my right leg and gaining 80 pounds during my recovery. Bottom line, YOU have to want it. If you're wondering what the point is, you've already given up. Buckle down and get your diet right. If that means throwing out all your *kitten* foods and pouring out soda or whatever then do it (step one - like a junk food alcoholic!). Buy a bunch of Tupperware and take a day to get all your meals ready for the week and organize your fridge. Measure your foods, use MFP to keep yourself honest. If you cheat, log it so you can visually see it (yeah, shame yourself a little bit, it builds character and strength just don't allow somebody else to do it to you no matter how hard they try). It may be hard at first but once you settle in to a routine it becomes second nature. One of the only cliché's in fitness I believe in is that it's a lifestyle, make your diet your lifestyle and the rest will fall into place. Don't follow fad diets - use your brain. I literally just read an article saying not to eat fruits or you'll get fat. Have you ever seen a guy get fat from eating too many apples???

I'm blunt because sometimes if you're desperate or have lost hope you shut down, you give up, and regress. It sounds like you're at that point, if not past it. Sometimes you need someone to give you a nudge you when you can't push yourself. *kitten* motivational speeches and all the 'you can do it' pep talks. Where's that gotten you? You're quitting! Change your attitude, get rid of that 'there's no point' *kitten* and attack your workout like it's a battle and punish yourself. Leave the gym with nothing left but a smile on your face from killing it. Dig deep and find that discipline to stick to your diet plan. Don't worry if the girl next to you is doing better, don't worry what people think. Use it as motivation and some day soon somebody will be looking at you for it, I promise. When you don't think you can do one more push up, one more mile, or one more minute dig deep and do two.