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Need advice about working with weights

TLDR: Will a workout of regularly exercising chest muscles and shoulder muscles make me look "manly"?

Ok so just started working with a trainer and weights 3x per week about 3 months ago. I started at a -0 fitness level. Only about 11b. of fat to lose but I'm "skinny fat". Main goal= reduce body fat percentage, build some muscle (I started with barely enough to keep a person upright lol) and increase my fitness level. It's been going well, but after gaining some knowledge, I realize my trainer has me doing all the same exercises that the really muscle-y men in my gym are doing? I am only learning the names of machines and weight exercises, but he has me doing a lot of chest, shoulder (including shoulder shrugs), and trapezius exercises besides just arms, abs, and squats, etc. As I said, I'm a novice to all of this but I've been reading a LOT in books, magazines, and online articles about fitness and whatnot. And these are exercises recommended in the mens magazines to get big. Now it's only been 3 months and I've definitely gained muscle where there was none, and only just started to actually see some definition in my arms and shoulders, thighs, calves, etc. (although mid-section is still covered with that 11b. of fat!) So I know it would take a while, but....I definitely don't want to look "unfeminine" and have "big" chest, shoulder, neck muscles. Yes I know as a woman I won't get as big, but I've read so many cross-fit women complain about becoming too bulky. Should I speak to my trainer about this? Or just not worry about it for a while? I know that any muscle I build is good and it will help me burn fat, etc. But looking ahead a few months, I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice?

Replies

  • ElizabethOakes2
    ElizabethOakes2 Posts: 1,038 Member
    My advice? (And for what it's worth, it's been 20 years since I was seriously lifting to 'get buff'), you don't have to go 'heavy' until you look like 'those too bulky builders'. Go until you're happy with how your body looks, then switch to maintaining that mass and fitness level. :) Heavy lifting, and doing the same exercises as the 'really buff' guys do, WILL get you where you want to be! You don't have to go beyond where you want to be if you don't want to. Go until you like what you see in the mirror, then switch to maintaining instead of building.
  • evakierk
    evakierk Posts: 9 Member
    That's great advice! Thank you!
  • SIMAKRA
    SIMAKRA Posts: 97 Member
    Have a look on youtube for women kettlebell competitions.
    None of the girls look bulky.
  • meghanduprey
    meghanduprey Posts: 158 Member
    you really have to work hard as a woman to look "manly" when it comes to weight lifting. I mean REALLY hard. Like it's your job. I don't think you need to worry about that.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    It is difficult for women to build muscle. In a deficit it's really only possible for untrained beginners, at maintenance /recomp still really difficult, and even in a surplus you're only gaining x amount of muscle per pound of body fat you put on. I've gained 10 pounds in the past 3 months. I'll be happy if 3 are muscle. And this is with HEAVY LIFTING. I don't lift any differently than a man would...just with less weight (though not less than all of them!).

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/977538/halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky

    Take a look at this thread.