WARNING: Bing & anorexic behavior

Tinkerbell228

I don't want to seem ignorant. My close friend who knows me completely knows I have a bad body image & relationship with food. She's suggested I look up psychological/ nutritional books on bing eating & anorexia.
I'm obese but I was underweight at 16. Was thin my whole life but always thought I was fat because how I developed & how I was treated.
In high school I didn't eat lunch at school especially when I was 16. Not even eat when I got home. Sometimes breakfast. I started gaining end of 16, ever since then to now, 6 years ago. When I started seeing the pounds pack on I felt more & more disgusting & embarrass to show myself in public. I still do. I haven't looked at myself next to anyone else in years.
I freak out when I loose up to 5lbs. Then stop & gain it all back. My own back story for that reason, but, I'm basically looking for
-ANYONE WHO FEELS-
they're disgustingly fat, who've gained nearly 100lbs, anyone who has conflicted feelings about food-know it's healthy but doesn't eat enough because they feel they'll eat too much. Then eat too much & realize it's wrong that it's not heathy on their body. Who wants to hide from the world & wear only black to look smaller. Feels good about eating fruits & veggies, but just doesn't stick to it.
If you want to add any more feelings you go through or habits that are related to these please list. I just need friends like that, like me, who understand what I'm going through. I'm not bulimic. I'm learning to eat healthy but it'll be a struggle.

hyIianprincess

I'm currently in recovery for anorexia binge purge subtype. I can relate to all of those feelings except for being overweight. I struggle with body dysmorphia bad too. Feel free to add me if you'd like

Graceraeg

I had those issues when I was a teenager. I got pregnant when I was 16 and ate healthy through the pregnancy and that really reset things for me. I gained a new perspective on things and realized that I should not starve myself. I was not "fat" but I was a healthy average weight. I always wore black and had horrible self esteem. I now rarely wear black and my self esteem has improved. You can message me if you want.

ariellenkov

I'm currently in recovery from anorexia and purging. I'm not anywhere near overweight and I keep relapsing but I definitely struggle with body dysmorphia. You can add me!