Binge Eating

RTrainBNasty

Hi all! I need some support and encouragement. I am also wondering if anyone else struggles with what I struggle with. All of 2015 I had my food on point. I wasn't "dieting". I was making mostly healthy choices and still indulged when I wanted. Some weekends when I indulged for two days straight I got right back on the horse to healthier decisions. It was amazing. I didn't obsess over food like I had in the past. I wasn't completely restricting and I wasn't completely over-indulging. I increased working out - HIIT workouts, running, anything really. I am active outside as much as possible. In the end I lost 30 lbs total. I fluctuated bring anywhere up to 5 lbs back on and then off, etc. My weight fluctuates a lot. If I ate awful for two days, I could probably easily add 7 lbs to the scale, but after a few days back on track most or all would be back off. Anyhow, since 2016 hit I have been overeating and notice an old habit rearing it's ugly head - binge eating (or at least a form of it). I have put on probably 5-8 lbs. of real weight, not water weight, since January/February. So it's been only a short period of time, as it's still February. When I try to describe what I think is my issue to people, the response I typically get is "you're not a binge eater, you're just enjoying yourself." Well, I do believe I have a form of it. Everything I have read on it I fit. I often feel like I HAVE to eat all the food I want in a day, let's say Sunday, because Monday I am going to "get back on track". Then, if something were to go wrong on Monday or Tuesday - let's say I have a handful of pretzels that weren't on my planned schedule - well, then I just feel like I messed up and I go crazy, eating a lot more and making it worse. I seem to eat carbs senselessly. A LOT of carbs. Yesterday, I had all healthy meals planned. Then, I had a handful of pretzels at work that weren't in the log. Then another. Then another. I had like 6 handfuls of pretzels. Well, then I thought I messed up so I went to find candy in the office. I ate Starburst, Butter Toffees, Butterscotch Hard Candy and Chewy Chocolate things. Then, I finally stopped. Later in the night, after the gym, I just ate whatever I wanted instead of following my plan. Some was healthy some not but it was again, A LOT of food for dinner. I had Chicken Fajita Meat (5 oz) with Peppers and Onions, Cashews/Almonds, Baked Vegetarian Beans, Cheese and Crackers and like 12 Twizzlers. Then, after my shower I had three glasses of wine and half a box of Wheat Thins with some other Savory Crackers on top of that and another piece of cheese. Was I serious? I knew what I was doing. I was preparing to stop the next day. Well, this morning then I had an Egg with a Morning Star Griller and Fruit. Came to work and ate a Bagel Thin with some Cinnamon Butter. Took a handful of pretzels for NO REASON AT ALL. Once I ate those, had three more handfuls and half a luna bar. Stopped myself. I can eat a lot in one sitting. Last weekend I ate so much I got sick. It's disgusting. I hate myself after. I don't feel good all around. And no one thinks I have a problem, because I often don't do this while others are in the vicinity. Even when I tell them, they say I am fine. Once in a while I'll get "that's a lot of food". I have listed the amount of food to someone before that probably has been the equivalent of 5,000 calories in a sitting. I don't talk about it that much. I need to get back on track! I am in a healthy weight range. However, I was in the best shape of my life last year and I want to get back into that body and feel the way I did then. Also, I will note that stress is a huge trigger for me. I am getting married this year in September and feel "pressure" (from only myself) to lose weight, even though I look fine now. My fiance just moved in with his two dogs so my life has changed a lot recently. We are selling his house now. My father is ill and has been for a while. I always worry about him. My brother is another source of worry for various reasons. Also, a lot of my friends are on diets and I feel competition with them, which leads me to fail or give up. They are the opposite and do better because of it. I just want us all to be on the same team! I don't want to compete with anyone. Also, I want to note I work out 5-6 days a week typically still. Thank goodness I still do that. I love working out. Not everyday I love it, but most days I do. Right now though, working out has turned into punishment for what I ate (even though I don't work out excessively longer, but still about the same). I have dealt with this in the past for years on and off. I've been on and off diets since I was 16 (I'm 32). But last year was so wonderful. I miss being carefree and healthy. So I guess I'm looking to hear other people's experiences with this and if anyone has encouragement. I'm trying to nip it in the bud earlier this time. Never posted on MFP before. Thank you for reading!

kshama2001

Foods like pretzels can trigger me to overeat if I don't eat enough protein with them. Once I realized this, I started looking at the protein and carb content of every single meal and snack. I do well on about 40-45 % carbs to 25-30% protein. I'm not saying don't eat pretzels, but if you do, have a hard boiled egg or some cheese with them.

Or if pretzels are always a trigger food for you, it may be easier for you to just not have them at all. I don't have Oreos or M&Ms in the house as I am unable to moderate them. I am able to moderate Ghiradelli chocolate squares so have those as an after dinner treat.

cross2bear

Oh I see - you are one of those "all or nothing - I have to be perfect" people. I agree with you - if you think you have a problem, and its causing you anxiety and stress, then you really do have a problem.

Fortunately you recognize it, and you present as a well informed and knowledgeable person, and one who has the skills to deal with your food issues.

You are a unique individual, so you are really pressuring yourself in an unhealthy manner when you compare yourself to others who are trying to lose weight. You seem to think that somehow you are a lesser person because they appear to be successful and you do not. Dont you realize that they may be doing the EXACT SAME THING as you are (binging) but arent so hard on themselves and just recognize their human-ness and move on? You are in a good position right now because once you regain control over your eating, you can give up the self loathing and the hypercriticism that you torture yourself with, and move on. You say you are at a healthy weight - dont let that get away from you please. Its far more difficult to fight back to that position.

It seems like pretzels start you off - you have to have a plan to deal with them, as there are a lot of pretzels in the world and I dont think the manufacturers are gonna stop because of you. Or anyone else. Only you control you, and no one else. And by the same token, no one else has the right to try to control YOU. Not even a pretzel manufacturer!!

Beat the pretzels!! Take away their power!! You can do it!!

There is nothing wrong with seeing someone about emotional issues either - if you feel that you cannot do this effectively on your own, maybe a couple sessions with a therapist, counsellor or even certified nutritionalist can help you.

Good luck, have faith, seize your power Sister!!

kshama2001

This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system.

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)