Food to me is like alcohol to an alcoholic

Needing help. Needing encouragement. Not negativity and a beating please. I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon. Just one little bite of something pleasurful. I will do that in moderation for a while, then as the days go by I tell my self that 1 more bite won't hurt and then followed with, I'll start tomorrow. However tomorrow never comes. I find myself hiding when I eat after dinner, when I'm snacking, I destroy the evidence. I am in self destruct mode. I work in the medical field, I understand how the body works. I hear it everyday. My boss is a triathlete, an iron man. Calories in, calories out. Drink more water, exercise more. It's also hard to loose weight when I tell people how much I weigh, they are shocked. They say that there is no way I could weigh that, or that I carry it so well. Well, today I just hit the 200 mark. A number I swore I'd never reach. I want to cry, but I won't. Today is a new day, like everyday. I have to get on track, I have to make this work. If anyone has been where I am. Please share your story. Let's motivate and support each other. Together, we can do this.
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Replies

  • 123stefania
    123stefania Posts: 167 Member
    oh my god...i just posted a similar post. me too, I feel auto-destructive with my behavior. This morning my scal was 201!!!! How I let myself goes like that? maybe by denial... Can I add you as a friend we can motivate each other?
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    Absolutely! The more friends we get, the easier it is to stay motivated.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Chips! I can't have just one. Find your trigger foods.
  • moe0303
    moe0303 Posts: 934 Member
    edited February 2016
    Have you ever considered OA? OA.org. There are also a few groups here if you're interested.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    If you're truly having psychological issues with food, you're better off seeking counseling rather than opinions of strangers on the internet. Not try to dismiss anything, but we're not qualified to deal with psychological issues. There was at one point a post of links for this, I'm going to try and find it and put it up here for you.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    Never tried OA-will look in to that. I'm good once I get into the swing of things, just can't "fall off the wagon".
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 491 Member
    It is very difficult, I know. My problem is cheese. I've stopped eating it many times, but always go back. I am not supposed to eat it because I am supposed to be on a low-fat diet. I did so well when my doctor first put me on it, but then of course something stressed me out and back with it I was. I wish you well!
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    Well, if you want other advice, here's my set:

    - It's ok to start slow and build. What I did was weigh and log EVERYTHING for a week before I cut anything, just to see where my patterns were. That let me see what times of the day I was eating, and gave me ideas for what to cut down on. Then, I picked one thing to change, and gave myself a couple weeks to get used to it. Then, changed something else. Start slow and create a foundation to build on. It takes longer, but you'll feel better the entire time instead of being hungry and desperately craving favorite foods. You don't have to cut out foods, simply cut down on HOW MUCH you eat of them.

    - Everyone loses weight with different methods. So trying what others have said can be helpful, but if you try someone else's method, after a couple of weeks ask yourself "Do I want to eat like this the rest of my life?" If the answer is no, it's not for you. That doesn't mean you're failing, you just haven't hit on the right combo that works and is sustainable for you. This includes my advice, btw! What I do worked for me, but may not work for you. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    - Don't rely on others for your motivation. External motivation and support is great, but sporadic. You're not going to have someone call you up 2-3 times a day to offer encouragement unless you pay them. So you need to learn to motivate yourself. The way to do that is to take a good, honest look at why YOU want to lose weight. It doesn't have to be 'to get healthy' either. Find that reason and make it your motivation. Mine was I didn't like that I looked fat in my wedding pictures. And since it's on my work desk, that means I was constantly looking at it. Now that I've lost weight, it's also a reminder of where I was and to not let myself get there again. So find your own reason and motivation, and you'll always be able to pick yourself back up when make mistakes.

    - And you WILL make mistakes. Days you go over by accident, celebrations and holidays, sick days, etc. EVERYONE has off days. It doesn't make you a failure and won't sabotage your progress unless you let it. When you make a mistake, learn from it, log it, and start fresh next meal/day. It's a lesson that's hard for a lot of people to learn, including me, but once you internalize it, things become MUCH easier!


    With all the being said, if you can't go a day without breaking whatever eating plan you're trying, it would probably be a good idea to talk to a counselor or support group in your area.
  • grace914
    grace914 Posts: 139 Member
    I just sent you a friend request for motivation. Pretty much portion control is my problem. Since I live alone, my cooking goal is to make enough food for two meals to save time. I'm supposed to eat one portion for dinner and have the other for lunch the next day. Well, most times, I'll eat it all that night. I have my diary opened to my friends. We can bounce ideas off of each other and keep us on the right track! I keep dreaming about being in onederland. It's been my goal for years. I'm making 2016 the year to achieve it dammit!
  • 123stefania
    123stefania Posts: 167 Member
    Zombella wrote: »
    It is very difficult, I know. My problem is cheese. I've stopped eating it many times, but always go back. I am not supposed to eat it because I am supposed to be on a low-fat diet. I did so well when my doctor first put me on it, but then of course something stressed me out and back with it I was. I wish you well!

    Wow!!!! me too I love cheese....my weakness....I try to stop. I am starting to use almond milk and soya milk instead of milk...ufff not easy
  • bubble_wrap0428
    bubble_wrap0428 Posts: 88 Member
    You are being far too hard on yourself. Step back and look at the big picture. You are a beautiful woman!!! Don't hate yourself for struggling with your diet, there are far worse things you could be dealing with. It's all about dedication and moderation, seriously. Last night I had chocolate, but just a bite and that's amazing for me! I have been in the eating disorder cycle before and now I am happy with my body because I embrace the things I can't change like my wide hips and stretch marks on them. It still sucks but I am so my happier not ridiculing myself every second. It's all about your mindset.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    :)
  • Jack_NYC
    Jack_NYC Posts: 64 Member
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon.

    You have it harder than an alcoholic. An alcoholic in recovery can stop drinking entirely, but a compulsive overeater in recover cannot stop eating entirely.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    Thanks everyone for the advise. It does make since to omit 1 thing at a time. I need to stay if the scale. That's my biggest down fall too. As long as it's moving in the right direction, I do great, but the minute I see if go the otherway, I get discouraged. Baby steps. It will get done.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    To Jack_NYC, I never looked at it that way. You are right. An recovering Alcoholic doesn't have to stock the home with booze, unfortunately we have to have food to survive. One day at a time is the only way to fix this.
  • hiker583
    hiker583 Posts: 91 Member
    The key is to push through those times when scale is not moving and remind yourself that eventually it will. I keep getting stuck in similar situations - scale is moving - great, I am very motivated. And then scale stops moving and I see myself feeling - what's the point, might as well have that chocolate bar. Last time I tried to push through it, told myself just see what happens, it went on for 4 months and then suddenly scale started moving again and in right direction :smile: I cannot explain why, I just know it happened and this time I pushed through the plateau.
  • Shenvalleygurl
    Shenvalleygurl Posts: 27 Member
    IF you are like me, there is no such thing as moderation. It's one bite = slippery slide to eventual Binge City OR nothing. IF you are like me, then I recommend giving up on moderation. IF food to you really is like alcohol to an alcoholic, then the writing is on the wall. Alcoholics don't go to a bar for "just one drink."

    Give our culture a big fat middle finger and refuse to buy in to "food is love," "food is required to celebrate," "a calorie is a calorie." It's a lie (for me anyway). Whatever your trigger foods are DON'T.TOUCH.THEM.EVER.AGAIN. And grieve that fact. It's a loss. It's really f***ing sad. Here's my sad face for our loss :-(

    But if those foods stand between you and your goal then they must go. Give them the boot. Just say no. Work it you're worth it! One day at a time. Let go and let ... oh, well, you get my point.

    I hope this doesn't sound critical, this is the only thing that has actually worked for me, so it's all I can recommend.
  • hiker583
    hiker583 Posts: 91 Member
    Totally agree with above post. My trigger is chocolate and there are 1000+ times I have told myself, just one bite and before you know the whole bar is down and I am craving for more. So I gave up on moderation. Though I still give myself a day of (controlled) indulgence once a while, I mark it on the calendar and make sure I am not doing it too often. This has worked for me - I don't feel deprived of my favourite food.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
  • gim101
    gim101 Posts: 20 Member
    Hi, I had a similar issue with junk food. I totally knew I shouldn't be eating it but it was always,"one more won't hurt". I then read two books recently by Jason Vale, "how to stop eating chocolate the easy way" and "slim for life" (I got them from the library so it didn't even cost me anything) then watched a documentary called "Hungry for Change". It completely changed the way I thought about food and has helped me not to want the junk. I am steadily losing weight now and can resist easily even when my partner is munching on chocolate next to me! Whether you try this or not good luck! Go for it! You can totally do this! Feel free to friend me :)
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    IF you are like me, there is no such thing as moderation. It's one bite = slippery slide to eventual Binge City OR nothing. IF you are like me, then I recommend giving up on moderation. IF food to you really is like alcohol to an alcoholic, then the writing is on the wall. Alcoholics don't go to a bar for "just one drink."

    Give our culture a big fat middle finger and refuse to buy in to "food is love," "food is required to celebrate," "a calorie is a calorie." It's a lie (for me anyway). Whatever your trigger foods are DON'T.TOUCH.THEM.EVER.AGAIN. And grieve that fact. It's a loss. It's really f***ing sad. Here's my sad face for our loss :-(

    But if those foods stand between you and your goal then they must go. Give them the boot. Just say no. Work it you're worth it! One day at a time. Let go and let ... oh, well, you get my point.

    I hope this doesn't sound critical, this is the only thing that has actually worked for me, so it's all I can recommend.
    IF you are like me, there is no such thing as moderation. It's one bite = slippery slide to eventual Binge City OR nothing. IF you are like me, then I recommend giving up on moderation. IF food to you really is like alcohol to an alcoholic, then the writing is on the wall. Alcoholics don't go to a bar for "just one drink."

    Give our culture a big fat middle finger and refuse to buy in to "food is love," "food is required to celebrate," "a calorie is a calorie." It's a lie (for me anyway). Whatever your trigger foods are DON'T.TOUCH.THEM.EVER.AGAIN. And grieve that fact. It's a loss. It's really f***ing sad. Here's my sad face for our loss :-(

    But if those foods stand between you and your goal then they must go. Give them the boot. Just say no. Work it you're worth it! One day at a time. Let go and let ... oh, well, you get my point.

    I hope this doesn't sound critical, this is the only thing that has actually worked for me, so it's all I can recommend.

    Not critical at all. Sweets are my triggers. Cannot have them around me. Opened Girl Scout cookies yesterday for a few, before you know it, the bag was gone!

    I appreciate all the feed back. I know I'm not alone in the world, just good to hear all the other struggles and how they overcame them.
  • jennyb319
    jennyb319 Posts: 32 Member
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    Needing help. Needing encouragement. Not negativity and a beating please. I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon. Just one little bite of something pleasurful. I will do that in moderation for a while, then as the days go by I tell my self that 1 more bite won't hurt and then followed with, I'll start tomorrow. However tomorrow never comes. I find myself hiding when I eat after dinner, when I'm snacking, I destroy the evidence. I am in self destruct mode. I work in the medical field, I understand how the body works. I hear it everyday. My boss is a triathlete, an iron man. Calories in, calories out. Drink more water, exercise more. It's also hard to loose weight when I tell people how much I weigh, they are shocked. They say that there is no way I could weigh that, or that I carry it so well. Well, today I just hit the 200 mark. A number I swore I'd never reach. I want to cry, but I won't. Today is a new day, like everyday. I have to get on track, I have to make this work. If anyone has been where I am. Please share your story. Let's motivate and support each other. Together, we can do this.

    Wow.. It sounds like you just pulled this right out of my head!
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    gim101 wrote: »
    Hi, I had a similar issue with junk food. I totally knew I shouldn't be eating it but it was always,"one more won't hurt". I then read two books recently by Jason Vale, "how to stop eating chocolate the easy way" and "slim for life" (I got them from the library so it didn't even cost me anything) then watched a documentary called "Hungry for Change". It completely changed the way I thought about food and has helped me not to want the junk. I am steadily losing weight now and can resist easily even when my partner is munching on chocolate next to me! Whether you try this or not good luck! Go for it! You can totally do this! Feel free to friend me :)


    Awesome. I will check into this.

  • DYELB
    DYELB Posts: 7,407 Member
    Jack_NYC wrote: »
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon.

    You have it harder than an alcoholic. An alcoholic in recovery can stop drinking entirely, but a compulsive overeater in recover cannot stop eating entirely.

    Apparently you also have it harder than a meth addict as well.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Jack_NYC wrote: »
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon.

    You have it harder than an alcoholic. An alcoholic in recovery can stop drinking entirely, but a compulsive overeater in recover cannot stop eating entirely.

    No.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    DYELB wrote: »
    Jack_NYC wrote: »
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon.



    Apparently you also have it harder than a meth addict as well.

    Well...don't think I'd go that far.
  • FitFoodie95
    FitFoodie95 Posts: 23 Member
    I have the exact same problem. One little bite turns into a dozen servings of chocolate, cookies, or anything loaded with carbs and sugar. I went to a few OA meetings for a binge eating problem..If you're a determined person with strong spiritual beliefs, it can help tremendously, but it didn't do the trick for me. I found that what helps the most is not keeping any trigger foods in the house and staying busy. Like the posts above mentioned, moderation doesn't always work for everyone.
  • Jzuba75
    Jzuba75 Posts: 23 Member
    I have the exact same problem. One little bite turns into a dozen servings of chocolate, cookies, or anything loaded with carbs and sugar. I went to a few OA meetings for a binge eating problem..If you're a determined person with strong spiritual beliefs, it can help tremendously, but it didn't do the trick for me. I found that what helps the most is not keeping any trigger foods in the house and staying busy. Like the posts above mentioned, moderation doesn't always work for everyone.

    I may check online for the OA site. I know it's a sign of binging when I go into the next room to not be seen eating. It's hard not to keep any sweets in the house. I do have a 5 year old. However- hers IS giving in moderation and not given as rewards. I think that's part of our problem today? Sad, lets eat. Happy, lets eat. Job well done, lets celebrate and eat. We've all fallen victim of it. Time to break the cycle.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for the advise. It does make since to omit 1 thing at a time. I need to stay if the scale. That's my biggest down fall too. As long as it's moving in the right direction, I do great, but the minute I see if go the otherway, I get discouraged. Baby steps. It will get done.

    Try creating an account on Trend weight. What you need to look for is the overall TREND of your weight loss, because weight loss is not linear. But if you record you weight for a couple months and look at a graph, if you can draw a line from start to finish and it's going down, you're doing fine. It takes time, which is hard, but it will help when you see it.
  • Jack_NYC
    Jack_NYC Posts: 64 Member
    brower47 wrote: »
    Jack_NYC wrote: »
    Jzuba75 wrote: »
    I was 14 lbs away from my goal weight, and then I fell off the wagon.

    You have it harder than an alcoholic. An alcoholic in recovery can stop drinking entirely, but a compulsive overeater in recover cannot stop eating entirely.

    No.

    No? So you think a compulsive overeater can stop eating entirely? What would they live on?