Kids at the gym?

sanfromny

So last night I got to the gym around 10pm. About 30 mins later a woman comes in with her daughter that honestly couldn't be more than 12 years old. I watched as she well I don't want to say "forced" but told her to get on the treadmill and then the elliptical. At first I kept thinking why is she out so late when she has school in the morning but then I really started to wonder about is this really a good idea all together. Now, the little girl is visibly overweight for her height. Is this concerning to anyone else? I should mention that this is a 24hr key gym so there was no staff there at that time.

Maybe this is bothering me because I was slightly 'overweight' when I was young and I feel if we had access to a gym my mom probably would have done the same to me, maybe that's why it's bugging me a little...

DBrooks1979

What seems to be bugging you the most... the fact that her mom brought her to work out and get on the treadmill and elliptical... or the fact that there was a 12 year old with her mother in the gym... also did mom work out while daughter was on the treadmill and elliptical or did she just stand and watch her daughter do those things....

CassBurgos83

I think it's awesome that she brought her to workout with her. I bring my daughter to workout with me as well and she is 2months shy of 13. She hates working out or being active in general and would much rather be on electronics, but If she wants to do her "thing" then she has to be active.

sanfromny

Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess that's why I'm just looking to see if I'm just viewing this all wrong. But the mom worked out some, meaning she got on the treadmill and set her walk to like 1.5mph literally for 10 mins. She didn't get on the elliptical, she sat at one of the recumbent bikes but just kept getting up to watch to I guess make sure the daughter was doing it right?

Burger2066

It is hard to say without knowing the mother and daughter and why they are there. I workout with my son (he is 13, but looks younger). I'm teaching him to skate (hockey) and how to workout properly so he can put on some weight (like I said, he looks younger). So when we're in the gym, I will "tell" him to do things that to an outsider might come across as though I'm being mean to him. But that's how he wants me to train him because it pushes him to work hard. Maybe it is similar for them? The daughter wants to lose weight and the mom is helping in a fashion that they agreed works best for them? I know when I used to workout with a trainer, I loved getting yelled at.

BarbieAS

My primary concern would be for the safety of the girl. Most gyms don't allow children, though they may allow teens of some age (I've seen 13-16 as minimums). Did the girl seem like she was being abused - as in, was the mother pushing her harder than she seemed physically capable of handling? Past that, if the girl seemed generally safe, then, yeah, the situation might give me a bit of pause, but there's no way to actually know what's going on in that family and judging them based on that one observation is probably jumping the gun. It's probably not ideal for a mom to be ordering a pre-teen onto a treadmill at 10:30pm on a school night, but it's really not your business.

jemhh

Hmm. There's not enough info for me to have a well put together commentary on this. It is possible that the girl wants to go exercise and this is either the only time the mom has to take her or maybe the girl wanted to go at a time when there were fewer people there. Since it doesn't sound like the mom was forcing her to walk or ellipti-cate? (what is the verb there?) I can't say "wow that's totally wrong!" or anything like that.

sanfromny

CassBurgos83 wrote: »

I think it's awesome that she brought her to workout with her. I bring my daughter to workout with me as well and she is 2months shy of 13. She hates working out or being active in general and would much rather be on electronics, but If she wants to do her "thing" then she has to be active.

And that's a fantastic approach to combat the lull of electronic zombies-lol I have an 11y/o. But at 10:30pm?

ninerbuff

To me that's LATE to workout for a kid, but I have no idea if the kid is schooled at home or could be on year around school and is on break right now.
Anyway, my DD can't wait to workout in the gym and wants me to instruct her. She's 11 now.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

singingflutelady

My gym doesn't allow children on the workout floor (they are allowed in other parts as it is a Y just not where the weights and cardio machines are) unless they take a program where they must demonstrate proper usage of equipment. The minimum age for that is 13. It is probably an insurance issue. I'm surprised your gym lets children in.

CassBurgos83

I do agree that 10:30 is late, but I wonder if maybe the daughter has some self esteem issues and requested to go later??? I could be totally off on that though.

sanfromny

Burger2066 wrote: »

It is hard to say without knowing the mother and daughter and why they are there. I workout with my son (he is 13, but looks younger). I'm teaching him to skate (hockey) and how to workout properly so he can put on some weight (like I said, he looks younger). So when we're in the gym, I will "tell" him to do things that to an outsider might come across as though I'm being mean to him. But that's how he wants me to train him because it pushes him to work hard. Maybe it is similar for them? The daughter wants to lose weight and the mom is helping in a fashion that they agreed works best for them? I know when I used to workout with a trainer, I loved getting yelled at.

I was like that when I was young too. I was fortunate that my junior high allowed us to engage in sports and our coaches were tough and made us work!

sanfromny

singingflutelady wrote: »

My gym doesn't allow children on the workout floor (they are allowed in other parts as it is a Y just not where the weights and cardio machines are) unless they take a program where they must demonstrate proper usage of equipment. The minimum age for that is 13. It is probably an insurance issue. I'm surprised your gym lets children in.

Well they don't. You have to be 16 I believe. but it's a key gym and it was late so there wasn't anyone to say anything

sanfromny

For the record, before MFP Post police come after me !! lmao...I am not making any judgments. There are a lot of factors that I have no clue about, nor was I going to ask about. Just had the thought in my head this morning and just threw it out to relieve myself of the many busy ppl who live inside my head

CassBurgos83

sanfromny wrote: »

For the record, before MFP Post police come after me !! lmao...I am not making any judgments. There are a lot of factors that I have no clue about, nor was I going to ask about. Just had the thought in my head this morning and just threw it out to relieve myself of the many busy ppl who live inside my head

MFP forums for people getting upset are almost as bad as No excuse Mom's... People will always have something to be upset over.

CassLaBaraque

Wow, that would bother me as well. I guess if I had overweight children I'd try to do slightly different activities with them, like going on hikes/walks, playing soccer or whatever... Encourage them to take dancing or ice skating lessons or I don't know. At 12 I definitely wasn't interested in going to the gym! Although I still am not. I prefer the classes, but hey, maybe some people out there enjoy the gym, maybe even pre-teens. I just think there are better, more efficient ways in teaching kids how to be healthy... And it starts by showing them how to eat/cook healthy food! Now go try to tell that to the lady in question... Maybe the gym staff can help here? If you manage to get them when they are present.

Burger2066

sanfromny wrote: »

Burger2066 wrote: »

It is hard to say without knowing the mother and daughter and why they are there. I workout with my son (he is 13, but looks younger). I'm teaching him to skate (hockey) and how to workout properly so he can put on some weight (like I said, he looks younger). So when we're in the gym, I will "tell" him to do things that to an outsider might come across as though I'm being mean to him. But that's how he wants me to train him because it pushes him to work hard. Maybe it is similar for them? The daughter wants to lose weight and the mom is helping in a fashion that they agreed works best for them? I know when I used to workout with a trainer, I loved getting yelled at.

I was like that when I was young too. I was fortunate that my junior high allowed us to engage in sports and our coaches were tough and made us work!

I'm just excited that my 13 year old that is basically a video game junkie is ASKING me to help him workout and learn how to skate.

briscogun

It's unusual, for sure, but I would reserve making judgments on others unless you know the whole story. Unless there was something that was abusive or inappropriate about the interaction between the mom and the daughter, you just don't know what is going on in their lives to know if it was a good or bad thing. There could be social issues, health issues, logistical issues, family issues... any number of logical explanations for why they were there at that time.

Its impossible to make a determination of what is happening in their lives from observing one gym visit from afar. Maybe you could interact with the mom if you see them there again and just talk to her? See if she opens up and introduces the daughter and maybe why they are there so late or even why they are there at all? Just an option.

msf74

Unless the kid is actually substantially older than she appears what is she doing out so late on a school night?

As others have said it is hard to know what the real situation is given so little of the facts are known but this would be my immediate concern.

StealthHealth

ninerbuff wrote: »

To me that's LATE to workout for a kid, but I have no idea if the kid is schooled at home or could be on year around school and is on break right now.
Anyway, my DD can't wait to workout in the gym and wants me to instruct her. She's 11 now.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Same here, my youngest daughter has me set up HiiT type circuits for her in the living room (she tries to get me to pay her for completing them but I told her that's not how personal training sessions work).

Our gym has a 13YOs with 1-1 adult supervision, 16YO can work out on their own policy. I'm cool with that, in fact I think it's pretty fantastic to see whole families working out together, especially when they lift.

BioShocked89

Speaking as a child who was dragged to the gym on a daily basis, maybe the mother is desperate. My parents were. I was morbidly obese and extremely sick all the time and they tried to show me how to change for myself but I was so depressed I would literally just lay there on the floor out of the way of the ones who would work out. Maybe the girl asked for help? Maybe the doctor advised some light cardio stuff and that's the only time of day the mom can take the girl? Who knows. Until there are warning signs that something is wrong (IF there is anything wrong), there's not much you can do without overstepping your boundaries.

Unknown

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erialcelyob

Personally, I don't agree with it. There is an age minimum on most gyms for a reason. I think young teens should focus on themselves, self confidence, friends and hobbies and being as healthy as they can with this. Sometimes the relationship in your mind with the gym and exercise can go a bit skewiff, especially if you aren't old enough to really understand yourself and that very well.

Alidecker

There are some younger kids that come into the gym I belong to, they are always with parents if they are that young. Last night there was a boy 10-12 working out, we kind of did his own thing, but the dad was watching him like a hawk. I think it is good that the family is working out together.

Unknown

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whmscll

If she's trying to get her daughter to be more active, making her workout on a boring treadmill or elliptical (assuming the girl was not enjoying herself) is not going to work, IMO. She's just teaching her daughter to dislike the gym. Especially assuming (may be an incorrect assumption) that the girl should be in bed by that time and is probably tired.That mom should take her daughter on a walk/hike, bike ride, or something that the girl will consider fun. The same thing we tell each other -- find exercise you like -- applies here.

cwolfman13

I started going to the gym with my dad when I was 12/13 y.o....I was very involved in athletics and wanted to learn to lift properly to enhance my performance...at that time I played pee-wee football but really wanted to ready myself for high school football and I was a scrawny dude. I was also a track and field sprinter and a jumper...and while there was plenty to be done at practice, the school is only allowed so much time with you...if you wanted to be a better athlete, a lot was on you to take things on your own.

Who really knows what's going on here...personally, it wouldn't really bother me...I see fathers and their boys training in my gym a lot...I can't wait until I can start working with my boys.

ManiacalLaugh

At my office, we had a parent bring in a 12 year-old to our office gym. The parent did not stay in the gym to supervise her. I raised a bit of a complaint only because our equipment is old and she hasn't been trained on how to use it properly. If she gets hurt, who knows how the insurance company would react to an unsupervised child of an employee getting injured on our equipment. I am super protective of the benefit of having an in-house gym, so I requested that she either be officially orientated on the equipment by our in-house trainer and allowed to workout only under her parent's supervision, or that the parent stops bringing her in altogether (the rules on our entrance say "must be 18" anyway).

That being said, in a situation where I wasn't so invested in the legality of the issue, I wouldn't worry about it. If the gym is okay with it, it's their risk to take. And if she's being supervised by her mom, she's probably at less of a risk of hurting herself.

I have a friend who take her 10 year old in to their neighborhood gym to use the treadmill every Saturday. This is something the 10 year old asked for because she wants to train for Soccer, they received permission by the gym to do, and they make it a family thing, so both parents are usually on the machine to either side of her. Personally, I think it's great, but in the context of extreme care.

brb_2013

Yeah it's a little late, but I wish my Mother had exercised with me as a child. I can see your concern, my mother put me on diets from age 10 on, which was never done in a kind or helpful manner. Had we had family habits that would have been wonderful, instead she had me join her in yo-yo dieting.

Perhaps the girl is home schooled, in which case you'd have no way of knowing their bed schedules. I'm glad her parent was there at least.

Lounmoun

My teenage dd is homeschooled and stays up later than kids who go to school so we have gone places at 10 pm with her.
We had a treadmill at home and I encouraged my dd to try it along with other exercises. She has never been overweight but exercise is good. I'm not sure she looks almost 16 to other people.
The parent could have good reasons. I might be bothered by the scene if the kid were left unattended, doing something harmful or the parent were shouting at them or calling them names.

Is it bothering you most about the apparent age, time of day, the kid being overweight and told to exercise, or the kid being in an adult gym at all? Would you feel bothered if an overweight kid that age got on a treadmill or elliptical at home?

peleroja

Lounmoun wrote: »

My teenage dd is homeschooled and stays up later than kids who go to school so we have gone places at 10 pm with her.
We had a treadmill at home and I encouraged my dd to try it along with other exercises. She has never been overweight but exercise is good. I'm not sure she looks almost 16 to other people.
The parent could have good reasons. I might be bothered by the scene if the kid were left unattended, doing something harmful or the parent were shouting at them or calling them names.

Is it bothering you most about the apparent age, time of day, the kid being overweight and told to exercise, or the kid being in an adult gym at all? Would you feel bothered if an overweight kid that age got on a treadmill or elliptical at home?

I ditto this comment.

Without knowing the family's situation I don't really think it's my place to judge something like that as poor parenting. Frankly, I think with the number of children currently overweight/obese in the Western world, more parents could stand to get their kids exercising in any way at all. Diet is obviously a huge component too, but I know a lot of adults whose lives would be a lot easier today if they'd taken care of their weight issues as children and gotten into healthy diet/exercise habits a lot younger.

I mean, yes, there's a possibility that this could have been a vain, uncaring mother who just wants her kid to lose weight by any means necessary and stop embarrassing her. But there's also a possibility the child's doctor said "Hey, your child is overweight and you could save her a lot of problems in the future by getting her on a diet and exercise plan now," and a possibility the kid herself said "Hey, mom, I'm getting made fun of at school because I'm fat. I want to lose weight, what do I do?"

I agree that a treadmill/elliptical doesn't necessarily seem like the most fun/best way to get a child exercising when there are so many less monotonous possibilities that would probably stand a better chance of getting the kid into the habit of regular physical activity, but again, without background it's tough to make a judgement call on that.