Being treated differently after weight loss
Has anyone else noticed people treating them differently after they've lost some weight?
For example, I had a guy I tried to date in college randomly message me on facebook the other day and start hitting on me. He couldn't give me the time of day back then, but now that he's seen my progress pictures he claims he always liked me so much. What a d-bag.
Also I've noticed random strangers are nicer to me. They say hello and hold doors open more often. It may just be that I am happier and more confident now, so I attract more positivity, but has anyone had similar experiences?
For example, I had a guy I tried to date in college randomly message me on facebook the other day and start hitting on me. He couldn't give me the time of day back then, but now that he's seen my progress pictures he claims he always liked me so much. What a d-bag.
Also I've noticed random strangers are nicer to me. They say hello and hold doors open more often. It may just be that I am happier and more confident now, so I attract more positivity, but has anyone had similar experiences?
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I was an average weight/fit three to four years ago around 185-190, I gained a lot of weight by the end of 2014 i was close to 280, i started losing weight and now im below 200 again, but this time around im more Fit, than i was before. I eat healthier so on, more toned and so on, I do get some looks but since im really socially awkward and have no self confidence, i dont know if its because they are checking me out or because i have something on my face...I do get treated differently though i can sense it.0
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I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
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I have found if I wear contact lenses vs. glasses people treat me different... With my weight loss is no different. Men come up to me more often and flirt more... It's fun but yes I believe it really happens. Confidence does play a key in it.0
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I hate it when random strangers are nice to me. Just the other day some woman walked right up and tried to talk to me. The nerve!
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sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I hate it when random strangers are nice to me. Just the other day some woman walked right up and tried to talk to me. The nerve!
I wasn't complaining. It's just something I noticed happening more often.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?
I don't understand what you are asking.0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?
I don't understand what you are asking.
You seem upset that people are treating you differently because you've lost weight. Let it go. Learn to enjoy life. The reality is that people tend to be attracted to in-shape people. That shouldn't come as much of a shock. Enjoy the new you and realize that yes, people will treat you differently.0 -
I think the OP was pointing out the discrimination in the way we treat overweight people and thin/in shape people. Bodyshaming, in otherwords. Am I correct becbo22?0
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sunnybeaches105 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?
I don't understand what you are asking.
You seem upset that people are treating you differently because you've lost weight. Let it go. Learn to enjoy life. The reality is that people tend to be attracted to in-shape people. That shouldn't come as much of a shock. Enjoy the new you and realize that yes, people will treat you differently.
I understand that. I guess it just bothers me that people seem to be so shallow. I was a great person when I weighed more but I seemed to be invisible to everyone. I definitely enjoy people being nicer to me and everything. I guess I'm just a little bitter that I wasn't treated this nicely before.0 -
positivepowers wrote: »I think the OP was pointing out the discrimination in the way we treat overweight people and thin/in shape people. Bodyshaming, in otherwords. Am I correct becbo22?
Yes, that is what I was getting at.0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?
I don't understand what you are asking.
You seem upset that people are treating you differently because you've lost weight. Let it go. Learn to enjoy life. The reality is that people tend to be attracted to in-shape people. That shouldn't come as much of a shock. Enjoy the new you and realize that yes, people will treat you differently.
I understand that. I guess it just bothers me that people seem to be so shallow. I was a great person when I weighed more but I seemed to be invisible to everyone. I definitely enjoy people being nicer to me and everything. I guess I'm just a little bitter that I wasn't treated this nicely before.
You've exerienced both sides of the coin now. Appreciate that and empathize with others, but don't wear the chip on your shoulder. It will never help you.0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
sooooo . . . what you're saying is you're still not jolly?
I don't understand what you are asking.
You seem upset that people are treating you differently because you've lost weight. Let it go. Learn to enjoy life. The reality is that people tend to be attracted to in-shape people. That shouldn't come as much of a shock. Enjoy the new you and realize that yes, people will treat you differently.
I understand that. I guess it just bothers me that people seem to be so shallow. I was a great person when I weighed more but I seemed to be invisible to everyone. I definitely enjoy people being nicer to me and everything. I guess I'm just a little bitter that I wasn't treated this nicely before.
You've exerienced both sides of the coin now. Appreciate that and empathize with others, but don't wear the chip on your shoulder. It will never help you.
You're right.0 -
There is a positive side and a negative side to becoming more attractive after weight loss.
The positive aspect is that you may feel better about yourself and you are projecting yourself in a more positive manner. That makes you more attractive.
The negative connotation is that those that are more concerned with your physical attributes and looks. That makes them more one dimensional. Avoid them.0 -
I get cat called less now than when I was obese. Perhaps that means I'm getting more respect? Or maybe they just liked that big booty.0
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meganridenour wrote: »I get cat called less now than when I was obese. Perhaps that means I'm getting more respect? Or maybe they just liked that big booty.
I vote big booty0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
Whether that's what you think or not, I was just providing another viewpoint.
At the end of the day, he may like you smaller. If you put my wife's personality on another woman (larger, smaller, prettier, uglier) it's not a guaranteed that I'd still be attracted. I promise you her personality wasn't the first thing I noticed 10 years ago.
Either way, you sound bitter. Are you mad that you lost weight?0 -
Happened to me long time back when I lost weight before starting high school . Not that I am complaining0
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I mean, maybe you're cuter since you've lost weight so the guy isn't ashamed to say he's interested now. He may have always been interested, but wasn't interested in making it public before.
That's called being a *kitten* human being. I still have the same personality as I did back then. It's very shallow of him to only act interested now that I'm smaller.
Whether that's what you think or not, I was just providing another viewpoint.
At the end of the day, he may like you smaller. If you put my wife's personality on another woman (larger, smaller, prettier, uglier) it's not a guaranteed that I'd still be attracted. I promise you her personality wasn't the first thing I noticed 10 years ago.
Either way, you sound bitter. Are you mad that you lost weight?
No I'm very happy that I'm losing weight. This is just something I have noticed along the way.0 -
yes, its a real thing.
sadly, people are nicer to thinner/ more attractive people.0 -
Sometimes I catch my wife's girlfriends eyeballing my *kitten*...but that's about it.0
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Absolutely. It's a pretty stark difference. But I'm just rolling with it. I feel like fretting over it will only kill my happy and there's really nothing we can do about it. Embrace it.
and congrats on the loss! 0
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