10 lbs to lose and frustrated

CorvusCorax77

I have been struggling for the last year. I had already lost 50 lbs on MFP. I had a number on the scale that actually kinda scared me because it was lower than it was when I wasn't eating at all, and yet my body didn't look how I wanted it to. I looked...weak and frail and my belly was all fluffy.

So I took up weight training, adjusted my eating. I have gained a lot of strength and a bit of poundage. And I still don't look how I want to look. My stomach is fluffy. And now when I get on a scale, I freak out because the number isn't one I want to be seeing. I want to see that tiny number that validates to me that I AM NOT FAT ANYMORE.

All of this is to say that "maintenance" ..or focusing on "body composition" has been kinda a mind *kitten* for this previously obese girl. The posivibes I got from seeing the number on the scale constantly go down are no longer there. I'm trying to feel positive about my strength gains, but because I am trying to cut (because OMG I WEIGH TOO MUCH) my ORM's are no longer going up. I don't look in the mirror and think "BAD *kitten*" because I don't look like this:




So anyways, I been struggling with all of this and came across this article that I thought would be good for anyone in a similar boat at me to read because it helped me to put my mentality in perspective:

http://gokaleo.com/2013/05/20/i-am-overweight/

likitisplit

I love the way you fight your way to a healthier place.

CorvusCorax77

its too bad not more people are reading the article linked here. It's really good. I hope that anyone else struggling with maintenance issues reads it.

Confuzzled4ever

and also.. the chick in the picture you posted.. is airbrushed.. so none of us will ever look like that..

Hexahedra

I firmly believe in moderation. There is such a thing as overweight, so underweight surely exists at the other end of the spectrum. Having too much fat is bad, but having too little can't be healthy either. I fully agree that past a certain point reducing BF% is no longer about health, it's about aesthetics.

KombuchaCat

I agree with the article, too much fat is bad, but especially women must be careful to not go too low in thier body fat percentage. There is a reason why we have a layer of fat, we need it...just at the right amount.

CorvusCorax77

and also.. the chick in the picture you posted.. is airbrushed.. so none of us will ever look like that..

well, its the abs part that I was focused on. I know women IRL who have abs like that.

likitisplit

There's women I know IRL that have EE breasts and a flat tummy. I don't have either. I may, just may, get the flat tummy again (after two kids) but it's always been a struggle for me, even when I was below 18% bodyfat.

CorvusCorax77

I agree with the article, too much fat is bad, but especially women must be careful to not go too low in thier body fat percentage. There is a reason why we have a layer of fat, we need it...just at the right amount.

my goal is to see abs, which I have, after much obsessing over it, decided for me would be about 16% bf. I have been as low as 19% bf- but that was on the restrictive diet and when I weight waaaay too little for me. I couldn't imagine forcing myself to lose 5 more lbs at that point... so I did TDEE and started lifting. Raised my LBM, but also gained more fat. My last test was 23% bf.

CorvusCorax77

There's women I know IRL that have EE breasts and a flat tummy. I don't have either. I may, just may, get the flat tummy again (after two kids) but it's always been a struggle for me, even when I was below 18% bodyfat.

I know I can't make my breasts bigger without surgery. but I think it is possible to have defined abs. It's just figuring out how to get my BF low enough while maintaining muscle mass. I believe it can be done. I just feel like the proper way to do it, or maybe the discipline to do it, eludes me.

ETA: and my comment here is evidence that I need to reread that article! LOL!

larsensue

great article....

purple180

Thanks for sharing...I can so relate to this.

eazy_

and also.. the chick in the picture you posted.. is airbrushed.. so none of us will ever look like that..

Nope. That's just what people say who aren't willing to put in the time and effort it takes to look like that say.

I saw a woman on here (in the success posts) who has weighed the same 120 pounds for 3 years. She has spent the last 3 years changing her body composition with diet and exercise.

rjd9266

What a wonderful article, thanks for posting!

neandermagnon

Great article

this one is also good http://articles.elitefts.com/training-articles/a-lion-in-iron-ladies-measurements-dont-matter/

I'm eating and training for strength gains currently. I've also decided i don't want to cut my body fat percentage lower than the low 20's (which it currently is), and that I like my body how it is now, and that getting much stronger, and being strong, means a lot more to me than what I look like or how much I weigh. In the last 8 weeks or so my deadlift has gone from 88lb to 180lb, and my squat has gone from 80lb to 130lb (current working weight), and I'm really proud of that, and intending to increase those weights by a lot. My scale weight has gone up 3lb, my body fat percentage has stayed the same, and I've gone from a "healthy" BMI to an "overweight" one.

A thought occurred to me a while back... at the time Camille Leblanc Bazinet was my "inspiration" for what I wanted to look like... I realised that if I'd been given a choice between looking like her but keeping the level of strength and fitness that I had OR being as strong and fit as she is but looking the same as I did then............ I'd go for being as fit and strong as her and keeping my looks the same. Because what i can do means a lot more to me than what i look like. Yes, I want to look fit and strong, I want my husband to continue to find me attractive. I mean who doesn't want to look attractive... but so many women (and men for that matter) go after levels of perfection that are not achievable or are only achievable at a high cost, and maybe that cost is worth it for some but for others that cost is not worth it............ and who said aesthetics was the highest thing humans can strive towards anyway? So I'll take being as strong and fit as Camille L-B over looking like her, given a choice between the two.

Plus when it comes to what I find sexually attractive in men, if a man is big and strong then having a layer of fat as well (like a powerlifter as opposed to a bodybuilder) does not make him unattractive in fact I find that build extremely attractive. Washboard abs are attractive too, but they're not the be all and end all of attractiveness. There are very sexy men with washboard abs and there are very sexy men with more of a "built fat" or "bearmode" body type. And from a biological point of view, fit, strong and healthy is what's sexually attractive. And that spans quite a big range in terms of actual body fat percentages.

All of us have the right to determine what success means to us, so long as it's healthy (i.e. physically and mentally healthy). So whether that's washboard abs and super low body fat percentages........ or whether it's beast mode strength with a higher body fat percentage.... and regardless of what the scale actually says.... don't let other people's opinions of what defines success or an ideal body type stop you from going after what you really want. And don't get sucked into the trap of thinking that aesthetics or numbers (scale or body fat percentage numbers) are the only things that matter.

Lesa_Sass

and also.. the chick in the picture you posted.. is airbrushed.. so none of us will ever look like that..

Nope. That's just what people say who aren't willing to put in the time and effort it takes to look like that say.

I saw a woman on here (in the success posts) who has weighed the same 120 pounds for 3 years. She has spent the last 3 years changing her body composition with diet and exercise.

Ahem, I look like that, minus the fake boobs. And just an fyi, I will be 45 in August.

Lesa_Sass

and also.. the chick in the picture you posted.. is airbrushed.. so none of us will ever look like that..

Nope. That's just what people say who aren't willing to put in the time and effort it takes to look like that say.

I saw a woman on here (in the success posts) who has weighed the same 120 pounds for 3 years. She has spent the last 3 years changing her body composition with diet and exercise.

Ahem, I look like that, minus the fake boobs. And just an fyi, I will be 45 in August.

And I would also like to add that it has taken me years to get to this point, hang in there. It is totally worth it. You may think to yourself, but I do not WANT to wait 5 years to get that body, well, 5 years from now you will be very happy you kept going. If it were easy, everyone would be walking around all fit and buff.

Believe in yourself, it will happen.