Food addiction and the road to recovery!

hannahdramana

I am a binge eater. I am an emotional eater. There are times that I eat, just because it gives me a euphoric feeling. Sometimes, I'll eat to the point I feel physically ill. I will even hide my eating from people. I have bought myself fast food on the way home, and will scarf it down before anyone knows. Food has had a control on me for about 10 years. I have dieted more times than I can count and food has always, relentlessly taken back control. I still obsess over what I'm going to eat and how much longer until I can have my next meal. I don't just like food, I'm addicted to it. Today, I am 1 week clean.

For 1 week, I have struggled internally about food choices. This past week I have cried over food. This past week I have been a mean person because my body is freaking out and making me sick because I haven't binged on some sort of food. This past week I have thrown up 5 times because my body doesn't understand why I'm not feeding it chips, cookies, cakes, breads, junk. I have felt horribly ill but, I don't want y'all to see that side. Instead, I've put on a front on how "well" I'm doing, when in reality, withdraw has set in.

For 1 week, I have made good choices, even in pain. For 1 week, I have walked by every single aisle in the grocery store and not bought anything bad. This past week, I've gone to social events and not caved in. This past week, I've struggled but, I've also conquered. For 7 ENTIRE DAYS, I have had control of me. Today, I am a week clean and I can't wait to see what's in store for week 2.

TobyTimmyNala

That is great, good for you!!

Vanessalookingood

Great job. It will get easier. You can do this!

Doin_it_4me920

Girl I totally understand what your saying. So much of that is relatable to me. I too have a good addiction tho not as bad. I obsess over food. And want to eat constantly. I laughed when you talked about eating the fast food before anyone knew. I did that too. Then I would get home and cook dinner and eat more. You are so strong and I am so proud of you! Way to go. Hope it gets easier for you!
Tomorrow is my week and I've slipped up a couple times. Damn McD's and donuts but I haven't let it throw it all off. You are my inspiration!!

nutmegoreo

I mean this with the greatest amount of respect. Your post suggests that you could use some professional help. It sounds like you are struggling with a lot of issues, and have been for some time. These are things that a professional can help you explore and help you develop better coping mechanisms for managing things. I wish you all the best.

robins993

Good job! Just keep up the good work. I know how you feel. I LOVE food. Especialy meat, and could never be a vegan because of that(i didnt try and dont want to). When i finished elementary school i was not skiny nor fat. I had the perfect weight for my height. But when high school started, i started to eat alot and gain weight. Like anaavery920 said that she laughed at the part where you ate food on your way home so noone would know. I laughed too because i did the same thing. When my mom worked, and my dad wasnt home for 4 years cause he worked abroad, whenever i was home alone i would eat everything. Like the second my mom and bro left the house, i would go to the kitchen and eat. It was like i couldnt eat all of that whe she was home cause i know she would be like "you shouldnt eat that, dont eat it, you will be fat". And you have no idea how much i would eat. And i couldnt stop. When there was nuttela, i would just eat what is around the edges and a little bit of inside so it wouldnt appear like it was eaten. And when i ate cookies or chips(big pack), if i ate all cookies and/or half the chips, i would go to the market fast and buy that so i could fill the part i ate. And it happened like 5-6 times. With that money i could have bought something else. Anywho i admitted that i had a problem and tried not eating when i was alone. I do have almost 10kg more than i should have. Even tried diets, but would always fail because of what i did. Ive realised if i continued with this that i would be very fat. And i dont want that. So i stopped doing that, and dont hide when i eat. It is hard but i am doing it every day. You made it for 7 days. You will do it for 14 days, a month, and more. Just dont give up!!
And sorry for the very long post. But i couldnt stop writting and its better to tell this so others wont make the same mistakes. Well thats all. Sorry xD

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rebecky8085

Dear girl, thank you. I'm sitting here at my wits end with myself. I'm exactly like you a food/binge addict. I've been this way my entire life. I'm 54 and have lost and found the same 50+ pounds over and over with one "quick fix diet" after another and now I'm battling fibro, Hashimotos Thyroiditis which causes wide spread pain constantly and cleaning houses for a living is pure hell. Yet I know carrying around 75 extra pounds adds greatly to my suffering..and im totally out of control with the eating/binging disease..
Today, out of the blue a thought came to me "accept these diseases,work with them/around them instead of against them, deal/heal with them day by day"
And I saw your post. You're "dealing/healing" I know God wanted me to see your post and I'm so happy I did.
People that don't have addictions/disorders don't understand those of us who do. And dealing/healing with a food/eating addiction is a double whammy because we must eat to survive.
Thank you for sharing. You've got this. I've got this. It's not easy but it is doable.
Blessings my friend, Becky