Judgment on bigger people

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crystalroselynn
crystalroselynn Posts: 117 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
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Replies

  • ddavenport63
    ddavenport63 Posts: 74 Member
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    i hope not, the idea of mfp is for generaly losing weight regardless of how much you need to lose. some people on here have a lot of weight to lose including myself ive lost 40lb but still to lose another 60lb so lets all support each other . good luck
  • Irishsugar
    Irishsugar Posts: 117 Member
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    Maybe look into some of the groups for people with similar goals as yourself? I have over 100 pounds to lose and I have found everyone to be supportive and motivating. Don't let a bad experience or two ruin your journey.

    Feel free to add me as a friend :smiley:
  • Dumpty393
    Dumpty393 Posts: 127 Member
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    Add me if youd like support! I accept anyone fit or not fit. We are all trying to better ourselves! Good luck with your fitness journey!
  • HStheBusyBee
    HStheBusyBee Posts: 1,366 Member
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    Feel free to add me! I think sometimes everyone is so focused on their own goals and need for support that they may not even think about it :)
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    Well, yeah.

    I think the MFP user base reflects a broad cross section of society and sadly some parts of society still hold negative attitudes about people on the way they look, in this case their size.

    Pay it no mind.

  • DeniseCole5
    DeniseCole5 Posts: 24 Member
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    feel free to add me, i have loads of weight to lose.
  • CatherineElizabeth13
    CatherineElizabeth13 Posts: 212 Member
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    I have over 100lbs to lose. And I always feel judged, like people find it gross and don't want to be my friend.
    But I have come to realise that it's because that's how I feel about myself. I'm giving off a closed off, unhappy vibe because I feel so desperately unhappy with myself and can't understand why anyone wants to know me. And that pushes people away.
    I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, I know bigger people do face a lot of criticism in public etc. But I haven't found any on here, so I hope that's because instances of it are few and far between :)
    Feel free to add me, I could do with some friends who have a lot to lose :)
  • mmanchester68
    mmanchester68 Posts: 66 Member
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    Feel free to add me as well. No matter how much you're trying to lose, it's tough.
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
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    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by how much they weigh, but by the content of their... content." - Martin Lawrence
    i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    You have 105 people on your friends list.
    What are you looking for?
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
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    I feel like there is judgment based on how you eat here, but not at how much you weigh when you start your journey. I've gone on and off my journey several times (health reasons making it impossible to work out and giving up) - but the folks I've "met" here have always welcomed me back with open arms and tons of encouragement. Just don't talk about fad diets or counting carbs or clean eating in the forums. People can be downright nasty when you don't do what they say and have a differing opinion on nutrition. That's my $.02 anyway :smile: Good luck on your journey!
  • niamibunni
    niamibunni Posts: 110 Member
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    Feel free to add me as well. Over 100 pounds to lose.
  • CurlyCockney
    CurlyCockney Posts: 1,394 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I haven't noticed any judgement on bigger people, but then I'm not looking for it. I took the liberty of checking your posting history and can't see any judgement there either. Although this may all seem daunting to you, in time you'll realise (as many of us do!) that the very best advice we get here isn't sugar-coated to cosset us, it's plain-speaking to enable us.

    Have a look at the Success Stories board for inspiration, and good luck!

    Edited for clarity: I mean 'enable' in the sense of helping us to reach our goals (because that's why we're all here).
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,031 Member
    edited March 2016
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    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    Looking at you current loss, and diary history, if many people are like myself, I just don't bother with people just starting out (Less than a month), and don't consistently log.

    This is a site where people encourage others to maintain a consistent food log, in a goal to either lose, gain, or maintain weight. If someone cannot or will not do the minimum required for it, I'm not going to bother.

    It has little to do with your weight, and everything to do with your discipline.

    Basically, if you've not been a member for at least 3 weeks, with 3 weeks of consistent logging, and at least one week of progress towards your goal, I'm not going to accept a friend request from you, or send you one.
  • shitake83
    shitake83 Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi, I personally don't judge anyone on their weight, I just have a hard time to understand how someone can manage to become so overweight that there are 50+ kg to lose (no judgement, just a way to understand/fathom the process, if you get what I am saying). I have been "fat" in my own understanding for about 10 years and we are talking about 10-12kg of extra weight. So for a heavy person that needs to lose a lot more, that may be a laughable amount, but for (for lack of a better word) regular people, even that amount of weight is a lot, so it's hard for me to imagine how it would be to have to lose 50+ kgs of weight.
    I have been using lifesum for the most time since I was able to better put in my workouts, but I have found out that mfp tracks food way better and the app has a bigger community and webapp and so on and so on. So I am trying to get some friends on the app so I can see other peoples progress and also have an insight of how other people are challenging their weight goals, so feel free to add me.

    I am currently on a 65-day streak with mfp and I plan to get to at least a 100 consecutive days :)

    P.S.: I am 1.74m and 77kg currently (5'7 / 171 lb)
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I don't care what you weigh

    I like people who do what they need to do

    Which includes asking for advice when needed, changing their mindsets when required, putting in the commitment and the work, not making excuses or looking for 'reasons' just doing it day in, day out. Make a mistake, log it and get back on the horse. Overeat? accept it, log it, move on.

    Basically I like grown-ups

    If you do that - and you pay it forward you'll probably have more people wanting to be on your FL than you can cope with

  • CalorieCountChocula
    CalorieCountChocula Posts: 239 Member
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    But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people.
    I never received any notification about your weight. Not sure how I would of reacted.
  • louann_jude
    louann_jude Posts: 307 Member
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    I have found everyone so supportive. I started out this time on January 3rd at 283 pounds. Yesterday I weighed 244. I want to get to 165 ish. You can add me if you want and anyone else can for that matter. I am learning as I go and love to know how to tweek things.

    shitake83 wrote: »
    Hi, I personally don't judge anyone on their weight, I just have a hard time to understand how someone can manage to become so overweight that there are 50+ kg to lose (no judgement, just a way to understand/fathom the process, if you get what I am saying). I have been "fat" in my own understanding for about 10 years and we are talking about 10-12kg of extra weight. So for a heavy person that needs to lose a lot more, that may be a laughable amount, but for (for lack of a better word) regular people, even that amount of weight is a lot, so it's hard for me to imagine how it would be to have to lose 50+ kgs of weight.
    I have been using lifesum for the most time since I was able to better put in my workouts, but I have found out that mfp tracks food way better and the app has a bigger community and webapp and so on and so on. So I am trying to get some friends on the app so I can see other peoples progress and also have an insight of how other people are challenging their weight goals, so feel free to add me.

    I am currently on a 65-day streak with mfp and I plan to get to at least a 100 consecutive days :)

    P.S.: I am 1.74m and 77kg currently (5'7 / 171 lb)

    Every one has a different reason to getting as big or bigger than I am. Mine started with a life time of poor choices and not understanding how the calories in versus out thing. I wasn't always Fat, even though I thought I was. I got to my smallest right before my first pregnancy. I was 125. I then gained 69 pounds after having him. I couldn't get off the weight and got the where I was between 180 and 195.

    I then got pregnant again. I had her I weighed 234. Because of my history with post partum depression I was put on medication to help with that. I ballooned to 268 pounds. I got pregnant with the fourth and when I had him I weighed 284 pounds. I then lost a bunch of weight after having him. I lost 50 pounds. And yeap got pregnant again. I got to my heaviest at 300 pounds. I was mortified. I had her then two months later my Daddy died. I thought I was going to die to. I started eating. Even eating in middle of the night which I never did.

    Last year I started my diet again. I weighed 293 when I started. I did well I got to 265 and then my fiancee lost his job and I did what I knew to do which was eat.

    Now I know that I can't eat my feelings and binge when things go wrong. IF I do I will be over 500 pounds before I am 50. I have dealt with some bad things since starting two months ago. My sons diagnoses with Autism, my favorite aunt dying, and now my fiance is facing a lay off in two months. Has that made me want to eat. Yes it has. Have I done it. Nope. I want to be skinny again. I want to go and buy cute clothes and look good in them. I just had to get a mind set that I wanted it. And until someone really wants it they wont do it.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Don't let anyone's negativity get in the way of your health and happiness.
  • dabry05
    dabry05 Posts: 14 Member
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    What's kind of weird is that before losing 95 pounds, I was very negative toward fat people, even though I was fat myself. I actually have a way better attitude on people who are overweight since losing a lot of weight myself, this is something you can change if you want to. You've made a wonderful decision by being here and using the app, I would hope that anyone here has nothing but support and positivity for everyone. :)

    I know that's not the case, but it should be. No one ever got anywhere with helping others by smacking them down.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
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    Just a thought... it is possible that some of the people who don't have as much to lose as you do may not comment on your posts because they don't know what to say. I have over 100 lbs to lose and if I'm completely honest - I have a tendency to avoid many "thinner people posts"... not because I don't like them - but because I can't relate. I have nothing to add to a conversation about "losing the last 10 lbs". I have nothing to add to a conversation about "I've lost 20 lbs and still don't have flat abs". And the fact is that if I focus on the "I am 140 lbs and fatter than I've ever been and feel disgusting" posts - it's detrimental to my success. Let's be honest - conversations more relative to me are.. "Am I going to have a lot of hanging skin?" "How long did it take to lose 100+ lbs?" "Why do my stretchmarks look worse now that I've lost 20 lbs?" THESE are the posts that hold something for me at this point.

    We are all on our own journeys. Are there people on here with a bias against fat people? Probably... but that's none of your concern. You do YOU. You keep working on being better today than you were yesterday. And be thankful for the people who are considerate enough not to add to your conversation if they can't relate.

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