Hello MFP community

casnowns

My name is Cason. I embarked on my heathy lifestyle about 16 months ago but have really ramped it up in the last 4 months. It all started after a car accident required me to learn to walk again. I obviously became more sedentary while in rehab. As I healed I began to jog daily (often twice a day). I logged over 40 miles regularly for a while and was also in the gym 4 days a week. I wanted to be in the best shape of my life a year after my accident. I met that goal in my opinion. I was a college soccer player at 18-19 years old so that me was my competition. Once I got to the year mark though I asked myself, "now what?" I wasn't ever super unhealthy, but working a sedentary job for the first time in life I didn't want to pack the pounds, that I worked so hard to get rid of, right back on. It turned into tracking macros and counting calories. I've filled up 3 notebooks in as many months with my daily calorie/macro counts. The change in body composition has been pretty dramatic. I do think though my new level of physical health has come at the expense of some mental health. I don't see food as food anymore. Just grams of fat, carbs, and protein. I don't do cheat days or meals for fear they'll undo my progress. I'm trying to gain weight but I want it to be muscle. I've no interest in bulking/cutting. I don't want to see a chubby me in the mirror ever again. I'm learning to cook which makes this a little easier. I'm actually getting prett damn good at it. I feel like I may have an unhealthy relationship with food now though. Every morning I wake up and pinch myself to see how lean I feel. I do this hundreds of times throughout the day as well. I haven't eaten a slice of pizza in 6-7 months. Cut sweet tea out over a year ago and never looked back. I'm even struggling now to keep fruit (which played a huge role in my weight loss) in my diet. I fear sugar a bit and struggle to control my fruit consumption. 1 apple always equals however many I bought. Anyway I look forward to what I can accomplish with my dietary discipline I just am a little worried about my sanity. Always thinking about my next meal and how to make it fit my macros is stressful. That's me right now in a nutshell. Looking through the forums here I'm stoked about using this app.

ghudson92

Hello what a journey you've been on! You sound like you could use some support?

casnowns

georgyporcupine wrote: »

Hello what a journey you've been on! You sound like you could use some support?

I've just started to question whether this 'healthy' lifestyle has turned 'unhealthy.'

Dvdgzz

Well, no reason to fear any food unless they cause you to binge but seeing as you don't see food as food anymore that shouldn't be an issue. Eat mostly healthy but don't be afraid of any food. It all comes down to CICO in the end. Live.

HStheBusyBee

I think it's great that you've recognised that you may have an unhealthy perspective at the moment and want to change it. Feel free to add me for support