Struggling w birthday

Mersie1

Hi all! Tomorrow is my bday. Completely not in the position I thought I'd be in. I have a hip fracture so can't workout/even walk. Going to my doc shortly to see if I have osteoporosis. (45 is young, but I meet a lot of the high risk criteria.) trying to recognize all of my accomplishments. I am in the early stages of eating disorder recovery, but... Have had a difficult few days. Binged a couple of times as I felt the pull to restrict, despite not actually restricting. Felt a bit more motivated to stick to a structured eating plan, how my ED nutritionist would like me to, until my husband said he and the kids are bringing a dessert home for my bday. I'm really not interested in having it. Would like to find a non food way to celebrate. I'm worried it will trigger a binge. Part of my definition of recovery is being able to eat things like bday cake in a normal portion and enjoy it, but I'm not there yet. I can certainly come up w excuses but not sure if I should. Just feel really low. Last week I was feeling amazing w how I was nourishing my body- not being obsessive, but I feel like I've taken a huge leap backwards. Debating whether I turn my focus to after my bday or if that's just justifying bingeing. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. I know tomorrow is a new day, but I haven't given up on today! I'm much stronger than I usually give myself credit for, but ok having a hard time believing it right now. There is not a doubt in my mind that I will kick ED to the curb. I'm so much closer than I have ever been- just wish I could hop on my unicorn, snap my fingers and I'll magically be there!!!

OyGeeBiv

Please talk to your husband. Show him your post, since you worded it well. Hopefully he'll understand that the cake, while well-intentioned, isn't the best way to commemorate your special day. I like your idea of a non-food way to celebrate. I think the idea of cake is to have a treat. For YOU the treat needs to be something else.

Happy Birthday!

Mersie1

I agree! Thank you for your response. When he was at an unhappy weight, there's no way I could have gotten him to eat when he didn't want to!