Grieving Giving Up Overeating

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  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    I still go through what you go through, OP. Not all the time anymore (3.5 years on MFP), but I still get the feels every now and then (like grieving). Acceptance that life has changed forever and forming new habits around food have helped remedy that. But it probably won't ever go away for me...and I'm ok with it.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
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    rgbmore wrote: »
    I LOVE buffets. Love them so much--trying out new foods, having a few bites of each thing, eating until I'm going to pop. It's a sad day when you find out you're consuming 5000 in a sitting. I really enjoyed those meals, but they are gone. I can sympathize, my favorite thing is food! This will always be my battle, but the knowledge that this "deprivation" is for a good reason is the only thing that keeps me on track.

    I will say, I love buffets and we still eat at them, but since I simply can't eat that much food anymore, I feel A LOT better when we leave and can still walk under my own power! No sadness there! ;)
  • SolotoCEO
    SolotoCEO Posts: 293 Member
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    Like you, I love to eat. I'm down over 100 lbs and have not given up any of my favorite foods. I do eat them more in moderation or have a completely fall off the wagon day and then jump right back on the next day. So I don't miss anything.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Alluminati wrote: »
    Acceptance that life has changed forever and forming new habits around food have helped remedy that. But it probably won't ever go away for me...and I'm ok with it.

    +1
  • Dvdgzz
    Dvdgzz Posts: 437 Member
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    We all struggle, I am coming down from an upward yo-yoing myself. I have to be on top of it daily or I start to lose my way. Being active here on the forums helps tremendously. Hobbies to occupy time so that I am not always thinking about food help. Allowing myself the foods I love in moderation also makes it much easier. I used to restrict them and that would just trigger a binge.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    rgbmore wrote: »
    I LOVE buffets. Love them so much--trying out new foods, having a few bites of each thing, eating until I'm going to pop. It's a sad day when you find out you're consuming 5000 in a sitting. I really enjoyed those meals, but they are gone. I can sympathize, my favorite thing is food! This will always be my battle, but the knowledge that this "deprivation" is for a good reason is the only thing that keeps me on track.

    I still fail hard at buffets.
  • JenHuedy
    JenHuedy Posts: 611 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I know exactly what you mean. I love food. I love to taste new foods, try new recipes, even listen to chefs talk about food. I will make travel decisions based on food and make lists of food to try along sights to see! The enjoyment and pleasure from new tastes, textures, smells and combinations of foods is the same for me as listening to great music or enjoying fine art.

    And I LOVE to cook, and especially bake. I am constantly amazed at the glorious things that can be made by simply varying proportions of a few simple ingredients like butter, flour, sugar and eggs. Sometimes it seems like magic.

    I'll never go back to eating the way I used to, but I still eat what I want. Just not as much, or as often. I will still go out to our favorite wood-fired pizza place, or try that new recipe from the cooking show - I just do it less often and eat a smaller amount.

    Having to plan everything out and limit portions took much of the enjoyment away. It gets much better with time - and what other's have said about new hobbies is true. I can't believe I actually love running. And I even found a way to combine my favorite pastimes. The new gourmet donut shop is right next to a lovely running trail. Turns out Peanut Butter and Jelly Donuts taste even better after a 6 mile run!
  • itsthehumidity
    itsthehumidity Posts: 351 Member
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    I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want in amounts I want for any reason I want and still maintain my weight.

    That's the eternal struggle, and it's really tough. I want to be able to eat until I'm full, but I can't, or I'll gain a lot of weight really fast. I'm not really satisfied until I've consumed 6000-8000 calories per day, and my TDEE is around 2000-2200.

    It comes down to a choice: do you want to eat to the point of psychological comfort and contentment, or do you want to look a certain way? A few people in the world get away with both, but they're the exception. Most of us have to choose. And if you choose the latter, you don't get to eat as much, and that leaves a gap. What you fill that with is probably highly variable depending on the individual.

    Personally, I came to the realization that if I want to look a certain way, I have to be hungry just about every day for the rest of my life, or at least as long as I care about looking a certain way. I stay on track by looking at photos of people who look better than I do, and telling myself they only got that way and maintain their look by doing what I'm doing. I keep a calendar and mark days that I do a good job, and days I don't. This calendar keeps me accountable over longer time periods, not just day-to-day like MFP. Then, when I get a good streak going, that's what helps fill my void. I know that I'm doing a good job, and going about getting to my physique goals the right way. Your methods will likely be very different from mine, but I figured I'd share.
  • CrabNebula
    CrabNebula Posts: 1,119 Member
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    I haven't given up overeating, just confined it to one 6-8 hour span on Fridays. What I often find now that I lost all the weight is:

    1) My eyes are way, way bigger than my stomach used to be.
    2) I seem to get full pretty fast.
    3) Being so full I think my stomach might split for some reason does not bring the same satisfaction it once did. In fact, I really don't like the feeling at all. It is really uncomfortable and I try to avoid getting that full.

    Once I feel like crap from overeating, I don't really feel the need to do it again at all...until next Friday.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
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    This is what Saturdays are for.
  • vicky1947mfp
    vicky1947mfp Posts: 1,527 Member
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    cloudi2 wrote: »
    Yes, I relate t the way you used food,for sure. Food was my god. I'm still having that empty feeling ( lol, along with feeling physically (hungry)empty too). I had got to apoint where I felt ridiculous and immature about how I was eating whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it. It no longer made sense to keep stuffing myself, grazing all day and feeling pretty lousy physically. I realized I was using food for every little problem, every slight I got from anyone, for every painful emotion I felt. The self pity and anger at anyone and anything grew. It got to where if I didn't have enough frustrating, uncomfortable emotions or events to get upset over, I could exagerate small ones and eat over those.

    I quit doing overeating in December. I did that gradually, sort of weaning myself off the bottle so to speak.
    I feel better now and I'm working on myself by looking at these things I mentioned, also doing more meditation to find constructive ways of dealing with unresolved emotional pain etc.

    What a great topic, you really rock for the honesty like sam said.

    Love this. Well said. And way to go for conquering your overeating habit.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
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    Great post. I've heard it (giving up overeating) described as feeling like losing an old friend-- a friend you've been through a lot with, who was always there. But sometimes a friend can drag us down or away from what's good for us. And sometimes there are friends we grow away from. Grief is an apt description.
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,647 Member
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    Thank you for the post. I totally concur.

    Some days I'm "rah rah" new lifestyle! Fitness & discipline with calories!

    Other days I'm completely like: shove it.

    It's just always going to be held in that tension for me but I'm slowly making my peace with it. I also firmly believe in diet & exercise breaks (within reason) and keeping the idea that 'life is short' in mind.

    But I get you, OP, I get you.
  • victoria_1024
    victoria_1024 Posts: 915 Member
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    I totally get it. I miss being able to eat whatever I want and as much of it as I want. It does feel like grieving because I know I can never go back to that lifestyle again. Lately I've been eating whatever I want on Sundays and then eating at a slight deficit the rest of the week. Somehow just giving myself one day where I can just enjoy food and not worry as much about logging helps and then I am motivated to stick with it the rest of the week. I don't know if this is the best way to do it or if I will continue doing this but it's just what I've been doing.
  • LindzMiche
    LindzMiche Posts: 30 Member
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    Hi Robing,

    For me, the best way to combat this.. like many other posters have said.. is to give yourself that 1 day.. or time. I never do a full day unless it's a super special occasion.. usually I'll do a meal or half a day... but I will drink and munch my face off at the one social gathering I have on the weekends. The amount of social gathers grew and grew at the last few months of last year.. and I was above my danger weight.. which is why I'm back here.. logging and losing again.

    When you get to where you want to be.. you know how to do it. Just enjoy it. Have a weight that is your 'danger weight' (mine is 6 lbs up from my normal) and then get back on the wagon when you need to. I've found I'm fine with having this one time 'pig out session' a week.. and I make sure to exercise hard the day I know it's going to happen and I say on top of my calories during that week.

    I've also found that.. since I love food so much.. I can channel my love into other avenues.. like cooking. I LOVE BREAD.. so I started baking my own. Growing my own sourdough starter. Reading up on methods.. etc. For whatever reason, that kinda takes my food angst away and my food thoughts have gone to.. 'i want to eat this..' to 'how can i make this better so it will be amazing when I DO eat it'.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,953 Member
    edited March 2016
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    mmmpork wrote: »
    The way I cope with it is by not putting any restrictions on what I can eat, just on how much I eat. I recently went to a fancy restaurant and had a 5 course chef's tasting menu. The servings were well portioned but I still didn't feel compelled to clean my plate. I don't like feeling stuffed and bloated after eating. Not feeling like crap after stuffing myself is my main motivation for not overeating. I don't see any reason to mourn that. But I do understand :smile: If you find yourself wanting to eat because you're bored, you just have to find other things to replace it. If I want to snack or have munchies I usually chew gum, or I'll take the dog out for a walk and if I still want a snack when I get back I'll have one. Or even better, if it's been a few hours since my last meal I might just eat a proper meal. Sometimes I eat dinner at 4:30pm and then have a snack later, just because that's when I get hungry.

    What to do when you're the type who really likes that stuffed to the brim feeling? That's me.

    I've been trying to figure this stuff out for 3 years. All it does is seem to create more guilt not less. I'm not sure how to fix it... I'm just hoping that in 5 years or less I'll happen to notice my mindset is different and that I don't miss it. 8 years is a long time though.

    At least I care more about it than I did 4 years ago, so it's not like there isn't progress.

    I think there's such a thing as being ready to lose weight.

    There's such a thing as being ready to maintain weight.

    There's such a thing HAVING healthy normal habits - that you don't even notice are habits (it's not a habit if you always have to think about it, IMO)

    And there's such a thing as getting to each of those points.

    Getting to one point does not necessarily mean you will get to another any time soon. They are all separate goals each requiring more effort than the last... or more time..

    Some people do it easily. Some do not.
  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
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    It gets easier. If you do intermittent fasting you can still get that binge high without going over your calories. You'll eventually adjust to binging less frequently, and you'll find yourself needing less to feel full like you used to. I don't know if the desire will ever fully go away, I've been at it a year and still finding myself drawn towards it, but the important thing is I haven't given in. Just another boring part of life now.
  • Dvdgzz
    Dvdgzz Posts: 437 Member
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    I used to grieve more before IIFYM+IF. Since 2012, it's been a lot easier to deal. :)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Dvdgzz wrote: »
    I used to grieve more before IIFYM+IF. Since 2012, it's been a lot easier to deal. :)

    Sadly some of us can't do IF :( I need to eat every 3 hours or get sugar lows, and just forget not eating in the morning, it gets bad...
  • sidlyle
    sidlyle Posts: 2 Member
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    Go ahead and enjoy a day a week. Eating healthy every other day will make Saturday taste even better! : )