How do you deal with comments on your weight?

misscaseymac

That but... is what gets me. All my life I have had people compliment my face, and up to a few years ago my body. Boo hoo hoo for me, I know. But the last two years after stopping taking Adderall I ballooned almost 60+ pounds. I know my metabolism isn't what it used to be, and I'm trying to eat right and exercise a lot. That's all well and good. My problem is the awful comments that I get from people who think they are paying me a compliment by saying, " You have such a beautiful face, now if you'd only loose a little weight." It's a total backhand. As if my face were not good enough for my body, or my body for my face. Comments like that creep under my skin, even though I am confident, motivated and successful in almost every other way. It really has been throwing me into a funk recently, especially because I don't know whether or not to be combative in my answer or accept the "help" and/or "motivation" that the person bestows on me. I just don't know what to do, and it wares a girl down sometimes.

How do you guys deal with back handed compliments and /or comments on your weight??

xo

Capt_Apollo

do what i did. People used to say i "carry my weight well." just say thanks.

operation_cute

I had a guy who knew me from high school who said "you used to be so hot" (I was 120 lbs all through high school) and in college I was out to eat with 2 of my friends and my guy "friend" was scoring both of us from 1 - 10 gave my other friend a 9 and me a 3 and said that "I know why" I kind of just sulked my head down and tried to dissapear Not sure what to do in situations like that

Madame_Goldbricker

do what i did. People used to say i "carry my weight well." just say thanks.

Yep! I wouldn't get combative about it to be honest. I think people say things or make throw away/off hand comments all the time without thinking them through. Personally I think if I get bent out of shape over a comment it's down to it hitting my own negative nerve about myself.

misscaseymac

I just feel that if i always say thanks or accept what they are saying they won't realize their comments are hurtful, even if they don't mean or don't realize it. It's a rough one- and Zook, that guy from your high school was a real *kitten*. Just sayin, doll.

Madame_Goldbricker

I had a guy who knew me from high school who said "you used to be so hot" (I was 120 lbs all through high school) and in college I was out to eat with 2 of my friends and my guy "friend" was scoring both of us from 1 - 10 gave my other friend a 9 and me a 3 and said that "I know why" I kind of just sulked my head down and tried to dissapear Not sure what to do in situations like that

Thats awful! :mad:

behappio

If someone says I'm getting a bit chubs, I take it into perspective and watch my intake.
People aren't insulting you. They're describing you and giving advice-normal human behavior.

youngcaseyr

People can be just as judgmental towards thin people, so I have the opposite problem: people tell me that I'm too skinny, but I just tell them that it's because I work out and eat healthy.They ask me, "don't you want a nice round butt or bigger boobs? You can't have that when you're so skinny," or they're constantly telling me that I need to eat more or even stop working out. I, personally, love my body now and am happier with my diet and the way that I look than I've ever been, but there's such a stigma against "skinny" people that we're automatically labelled as unhealthy. I can tell that some women, especially, behave differently towards me because of it.

kellzi89

Just remember you can lose the weight but they will always be ugly on the inside.

jenster2373

I think it's emotionally healthy and empowering for you to "stand up" for yourself, but also recognize that what others think doesn't matter- that it's what's in your heart that really counts. So, do their comments bother you because you're buying into the negativity? Probably. I was guilty of that too. So this is what I did with comments like that: I gave a smile, hand on my hip, and said, "actually, I'm rocking these curves and feeling fabulous", or something along those lines. It wasn't unkind to them but it did let them know I feel just fine about myself. It was a subtle way to say, "Hey, don't knock me. I'm great just the way I am". I didn't, at first, really think that mind you, but after a while, I started to. You see, it's all about what you buy into, what you listen to, what you choose to believe. After saying I looked fab, despite someone else saying or implying otherwise, I started to really believe it. And with that confidence came a whole lot of satisfaction and even some motivation to do what i wanted FOR MYSELF.

tados

I had a guy who knew me from high school who said "you used to be so hot" (I was 120 lbs all through high school) and in college I was out to eat with 2 of my friends and my guy "friend" was scoring both of us from 1 - 10 gave my other friend a 9 and me a 3 and said that "I know why" I kind of just sulked my head down and tried to dissapear Not sure what to do in situations like that

This guy sounds like a real *kitten*!

bumblebeeboots

Just remember you can lose the weight but they will always be ugly on the inside.

very true !

operation_cute

I had a guy who knew me from high school who said "you used to be so hot" (I was 120 lbs all through high school) and in college I was out to eat with 2 of my friends and my guy "friend" was scoring both of us from 1 - 10 gave my other friend a 9 and me a 3 and said that "I know why" I kind of just sulked my head down and tried to dissapear Not sure what to do in situations like that

This guy sounds like a real *kitten*!

It was actually 2 different guys unfortunately one was from high school and the other was from college

MadDogManor

I didn't wear my glasses at work one day. A coworker said "your face is pretty today, what's different" ????

Capt_Apollo

I just feel that if i always say thanks or accept what they are saying they won't realize their comments are hurtful, even if they don't mean or don't realize it. It's a rough one- and Zook, that guy from your high school was a real *kitten*. Just sayin, doll.

trust me, they realize.

willnevergiveup

The nicest comments I've heard are from friends and co-workers.

The nastiest have been from my in-laws.

MIL:Didn't you used to be fat? Well,it's about time you lost weight! I don't know why my son is still married to you--he could have married someone who's skinny. (We've been married 33 years.)

My SIL is more subtle, telling people that I've Iost weight by having surgery or that I have cancer (wishful thinking on her part) or that I have an eating disorder. Of course,this gets back to me and even though I deny it, people aren't always certain of who's telling the truth. Some have talked to my husband and he finally had it out with his sister and her lies.

I've cut those two off and refuse to see or talk to them. Life is just too short!

Morninglory81

I just feel that if i always say thanks or accept what they are saying they won't realize their comments are hurtful, even if they don't mean or don't realize it. It's a rough one- and Zook, that guy from your high school was a real *kitten*. Just sayin, doll.

if it is someone close to you take them aside and let them know what their comments are doing to you. If it is a nobody smile nood and move on.

operation_cute

The nicest comments I've heard are from friends and co-workers.

The nastiest have been from my in-laws.

MIL:Didn't you used to be fat? Well,it's about time you lost weight! I don't know why my son is still married to you--he could have married someone who's skinny. (We've been married 33 years.)

My SIL is more subtle, telling people that I've Iost weight by having surgery or that I have cancer (wishful thinking on her part) or that I have an eating disorder. Of course,this gets back to me and even though I deny it, people aren't always certain of who's telling the truth. Some have talked to my husband and he finally had it out with his sister and her lies.

I've cut those two off and refuse to see or talk to them. Life is just too short!

Yikes! your inlaws sound worse than mine! so sorry they do that to you

elisa123gal

My husband always tells me how thick skinned men are; how they tell each other how fat they're getting..even bald! Men take it in stride. as a funny truth.

But we women..just don't have that sense of humor. when a child says you have bad breath..chances are you do. and when someone says.."you've got a pretty face." they're trying to compliment you by overlooking how overweight you may be. . But, it hurts your feelings and they shouldn't do it....but they don't mean to hurt you.

What if you were ugly and fat? (jk..trying to laugh it off...)


seriously..the best thing about being imperfect...is that the perfect people for you see beyond the imperfections to the person inside. a real plus..when you're plus sized. The quality people will truly see you! it is just weight..gain..lose.. you are you.