Support from Friends

anny3818

I am wondering what kind of support you all get from family and friends …. Or do you ?
I been struggling with my weight almost all my adult life .
A “Friend” of mine thinks, supposing me, by what he calls “telling it like it is” is motivating me. Telling me that I am in denial thinking being self-confident is a sign of me accepting the way I am . Thinks if I :just fallow a diet plan I would be the perfect size woman . If I only would do as he tells me I be skinny …. Yesterday he told me it does not matter what is on the inside the outside of a person counts , the way a woman looks, that nobody likes to look at a woman like me. Well needles to say all that hurt me very much . I know I have not been successful with loosing my weight I loose some and I gain it back , I do well and I go back to my bad ways ..so to me it is not about the diet it is about figuring out a way to change my lifestyle . Just wondering what support works for you and what does not . His comments do make me think sometimes , but they hurt and they do NOT motivate me ...

Kamikazikatt

He is what is called negative motivation and it usually has the opposite effect! Ignore him! You are a beautiful woman no matter your size! You want motivation, tell me what it is YOU would like to see changed in your life. What is YOUR personal goal?

AnnofB

Hello Anny3818.

I have found some true friends on MFP who have encouraged and supported me through my struggle. In fact, I credit them with 90 % of my success in getting to my goal. Positive encouragement as well as sharing the ups and downs and techniques for dealing with weight loss are a lot more motivating than the comments of your friend. Note to friend: Negative encouragement (is that an oxymoron? ) - not helpful.

My family has been very supportive, especially my husband. He's my number one fan. I'm blessed to have him. Friends have been glad for me and supportive too. But not always. Sometime you have to let them go.

It sounds like you have successful at weight loss in the past. I agree that it is about figuring out a way to change your lifestyle. Only you can do it, of course. But it sure does help to have friends and family with you. That said, make yourself a priority. Don't listen to the negativity. Motivate yourself. In fact, I found it helpful in the beginning when I was losing weight to not tell anyone I was on a diet. Family and friends who find change in others scary immediately become the Diet Police. Each meal will be carefully overlooked and critiqued. The way around it is to say when questioned "Are you on a diet?" is to respond "I just felt like having a salad today." When they notice your weight loss and question that, respond "I've just been trying some healthy eating". Others become saboteurs and will tell you that you don't need to lose weight you look just fine. Thank them and say you are working toward a healthy lifestyle. If they are real friends they will accept what you are trying to accomplish.

Of course we know there is more to life than being obsessed with appearances. One of those things is health. It's good to be self confident - you do have to believe in yourself and believe that when you take control of your life, you are going to be successful. You are one step ahead in this process. Set some doable goals and milestones to reach and start with your next meal or workout to get where you want to be. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I wish you success. I hope this has helped some.

If you would like to be friends, let me know and I'll click the add button. I'm not a friend collector. I keep my list small so I can offer support every day.

Take care and the very best of luck to you.

Ann