Losing Drive, Starting Depression

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ChimoshikiLove
ChimoshikiLove Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
Hi guys, a little bit of background. This isn't my main account, I created a new one so that I may start fresh. I'm a bit ashamed of myself.

I'm 18, turning nineteen on the 17th. I'm seriously like 158 pounds, larger than I've ever been. I had real depression when I was younger and chubby, but then I sprouted a little and was thin. About two years ago I got pregnant, lost the baby, and went through an abusive relationship. Since then I've steadily put on weight.

BUT! Since Christmas I've put on SO much weight. My thighs are gross and have stretch marks, my stomach is icky. It hurts to lay on my side because of my skin. I seriously want to cry all the time.

I'm 5'2 and I know how to count my calories, what to leave out, and that I need excersise. But it seems that every time I lose an inch I gain a mile. I fall off the wagon and the extra weight keeps my down in the dumps. I'm so unfit that the excersize I do try to do is discouraging. I do the elliptical about six days a week for thirty minutes (about 300 calories burned). I tried 30DS, but I quit after week two without even realizing.

What can I do to make this a little easier? I was always the chubby girl and I don't want to go back. I love my body, but I'm tired of avoiding mirrors, it's starting to show in my face. I know I'm pretty much just complaining, but at this point I just really need help. Or something.

Replies

  • ChristinaK69
    ChristinaK69 Posts: 249
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    Just don't give up. If you do and put on more weight it is just going to get harder. Sounds like you need a god support group. Fill out some of your profile information and grab some friends, it's harder traveling this journey alone. I'm so sorry you lost your baby. That's heart breaking. Hope you aren't in that abusive relationship any more...hang in there gal!
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
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    I've lost 20 kg this year and finally kicked depressions *kitten* so take me as an example that **** happens, but life gets better xx Love yourself. Work out to strengthen your body. Eat well because you deserve it. Live happy, and live well, and eventually you'll be both. Seek help when you need it. Smile at the small things. And never ever feel like no one understands. There are always people who get it, even if you haven't yet met them xxx
  • Andrea8985
    Andrea8985 Posts: 107
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    Have you tried therapy? Honestly, I think therapy tends to be overrated in that it isn't some miracle as some people make it out to be, but it does help if you're willing to listen to what is said in the sessions.

    Trust me, I know where you're coming from. I have suffered from depression for most of my life and have a couple of suicide attempts under my belt. I am not proud of that girl. The girl I am proud of is the one that woke up and said "Enough is enough.". I was underage at the time. I went to my aunt (my legal guardian) and told her how I was feeling. It was one of the hardest conversations of my life, but she got me the help I needed. Now, years later, it has been a combination of therapy and medication that has helped me. I am still on the medication and it helps a lot (nowadays it's mostly anxiety I need help with). I still have down days just like everyone, but it's nothing like it was before.

    If you are so depressed that it is keeping you from living your life and bettering yourself, please do yourself a favor and get help. Depression is no joke, but you can make it through and manage it. If you want to talk send me a message. :smile:
  • kellzi89
    kellzi89 Posts: 65 Member
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    Find a form of exercise that you enjoy! I would always fall of the wagon, I'd go great for a few weeks and then I had stopped and would eat bad. Then I found Burlesque dance classes and I started going once a week every week. I enjoyed it so much and I started to gain some confidence. First I started eating better because I felt better and then I wanted to lose the weight so I would look super sexy performing. That was 3 months ago and it is keeping me on track.
  • BreytonJay
    BreytonJay Posts: 86 Member
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    Maybe try lifting weights. It may seem like you can't lift much at first, but keeping at it. I feel amazing after I workout. I walk away saying to myself " yeah, I squat. Yeah, I lift that. I'm awesome" And that's just what I need to keep going. And the light soreness in my muscles teh next day remind me that I do totally kick butt!
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
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    watch this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5xXsdWRaFw
  • gentlygently
    gentlygently Posts: 752 Member
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    You have a lot on your emotional plate - it might be time for some professional counselling.

    I'd think about some non-electronic friends too. Perhaps a weight loss club? Or a water aerobics exercise group? (Those classes are really good for people who are starting from a low fitness base). What is around where you live ?

    And - many people who live with depression know this - getting outside for a walk as often as you can (daily?) can be really helpful . Gentle exercise you can in increase at your pace. Sun or rain on your face. (if you could get a dog that might do you a lot of good. If not can you borrow a neighbours or volunteer at a kennels??)


    Of course it is hard and discouraging when results go the wrong way. But it is also time to 'woman up' - the only person who can change this is you. So give yourself a gentle talking to and pep talk. and remember tomorrow is always another day.. And gradually make those changes. And congratulate yourself heartily on every one - every slightly better excercise session, better judged eating etc.



    Good luck

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