Interesting Article, "Try" is a Negative Word

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Packerjohn
Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
From the article:

"I would never cheat on you, and it feels good knowing that you would never cheat on me,” you say to your girlfriend.

"Well, I'll try not to cheat on you,” she replies.

Ouch. Try? She'll "try" not to cheat on you? Well that's not very reassuring.

But why? Why did the word "try" cause you anxiety? Well, because you know that "trying" doesn't often lead to succeeding. Think about it. You're invited to an event that you don't want to attend. Your polite response is, "Yeah, I'll try to make it!" which means "There's no way in heck I'm going."

Much like telling others we'll "try" to do something, saying that to ourselves (usually using what's called internal dialog) means that we're very likely not going to do it.

Full article:
https://www.t-nation.com/training/tip-stop-trying-start-committing

Replies

  • RUNucbar
    RUNucbar Posts: 160 Member
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    Hmmm. It is certainly interesting though I'm not sure about the overall tone of the piece.

    It is certainly accurate to say "I'll try" means you probably won't attend but to tell people to "just decide"...I'm not sure. Yes, you can decide to do or not do something but to just decide to do / not do it is not always that simple. Willpower is a big factor, plus life does sometimes get in the way. I, for one, feel less guilty if I say "I will try to workout three time this week" because if life happens and I only manage twice, that is ok. I said I would try and I did. If I say " I will work out three times this week" and I manage twice, I feel like I utterly failed even though a few months ago I would not have worked out at all.

    Individual variation is a factor of course, but if what you do works and is not self-destructive then you do you.
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Sure life happens, death in the family, illness, etc but most of the time not getting the workout in is deciding to watcheck tv play video games or mess with social media.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    Yoda said "Do, or do not. There is no try."
  • Muscleflex79
    Muscleflex79 Posts: 1,917 Member
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    I love it! Been saying this to someone for years and they still don't get it!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    Lol, this is one of my pet peeves! I'm with Yoda :p

    Lots of things in life are unpredictable, but weight loss is a simple equation of calories in being fewer than calories out. It's also basically a single player game. Getting fit takes effort, but if your prime goal is weight loss, you don't even have to do, it's just to not do. You will lose weight if you just don't eat too much.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    I'll try, I tried, I'm doing my best. Rationalizations/excuses for failure.
  • CassidyScaglione
    CassidyScaglione Posts: 673 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I'm not sure misquoting Yoda counts as an article though...
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
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    This is an interesting take. I always thought of "trying" as being synonymous with "striving to achieve." I can remember, as a child, being consoled by being told, "At least you tried."

    I suppose it's easy to use the word insincerely, even to yourself.
  • successgal1
    successgal1 Posts: 996 Member
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    Always listen to the Jedi Master.
  • hallycat
    hallycat Posts: 16 Member
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    I took the word out of my vocabulary. When I catch myself using it I change the statement.
    "I tried to call you" could mean I thought about calling you but then forgot.
    "I am trying to lose weight, get fit, etc etc" Could mean I think about it but I am not fully committed to doing it.

    Do or do not indeed!
  • gradchica27
    gradchica27 Posts: 777 Member
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    lthames0810 wrote: »
    This is an interesting take. I always thought of "trying" as being synonymous with "striving to achieve." I can remember, as a child, being consoled by being told, "At least you tried."

    I suppose it's easy to use the word insincerely, even to yourself.

    My take on try"...The key here is to be okay with failure--bc not everything we do will succeed the first time we attempt it. And sometimes fear of failure (or of not achieving perfection right out of the gate) leads to not even trying. I'm looking at my perfectionist son (6), who was frustrated that he couldn't dribble well so one game he didn't even bother dribbling at all. Or his claim that he'll get tired and fall off his bike (bc he's 6 and obviously can't ride as far/fast/long as his dad) makes him not even try going on the bike ride. Clearly we are working on praising his willingness to try--to work toward a goal, even if he doesn't succeed. That grit and willingness to work past failures will be the key to adult success and happiness, imo.

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