How to break up with coworker walking buddy?
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You could start the walk with your friend and at some point let her know "Okay, now i'm going to run for a bit! See you at the office!" I run on occasion during my lunch break with a friend. She is much faster than me and usually after we chat for a few minutes while running, I'll say "Okay! I can't keep your pace anymore! I'll see you when we get back!" And off she goes like the fast rabbit she is. No feelings hurt, we still keep our bond and both get what our bodies need.
My running buddy and I do this too. She's faster, but I run longer distances, so when she's still fresh at mile 4, I'm already on mile 9 and starting to tire. So she'll take off. If it's still early in the run she'll go to the end of the block and circle back, cheer me on for a minute and repeat. If it's close to the end of her planned mileage, then she says ok I'll see you later. I don't see why you have to choose between being friends and working out together.0 -
It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
Second bonus. That will show her how much harder you've been working and motivate her to work harder too. There's no way that running ahead of her and running back could be taken as insulting.
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Unleash the beast.
You can't let anyone, even friends, hold you back from your goals.
If that was my co-worker I'd chuck the deuces and speed off in a cloud of dust like the Roadrunner.0 -
I would continue to walk with her, but you mentioned she told you to go ahead at one point--I might say, "Are you sure you don't mind?" and then take her up on it. I have a friend who walks slowly--I still walk with her, but I run on the treadmill when I get home, although I understand your workday is long and you may not have that option.0
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I would go with C25K for both of you, or maybe run two days a week and walk the remainder 3 with her. Yes you want to move fast, but in a selfish way. Just ask yourself, how would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot. We never know what's around the corner.
On another I agree with the person that said, remember those you dump on the way up, will be there on your way back down or may even pass you. Would I want to be friends with you again definitely NO.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
I like this idea. It's what I often do when I'm out with a slower partner: I do Fartleks
Run ahead by 30 seconds, double back walking. Rinse, repeat.
What a great suggestion! Though, sometimes it can get a little "annoying" if you're running with someone who is doing circles around you. There's been a few times I was feeling sick, and instead of just slowing down my boyfriend ran next to me backwards. Not. Cool. Lol.0 -
I think if you discuss it honestly, she'll remain friends with you. I broke up with my own SISTER! as a fitness partner!lol
She's not overweight, but she just would either be late all the time,,or only workout for 15 minutes, and I feel like I'm just getting started at 15 minutes. Her intentions were good, she's just not a workout person.
I just went over her house one day, and said, "I release you from your commitment to work out with me,,I think it'd be better for me and for you...that way you can go at your pace, and I can go at mine"
I did make sure to end the conversation about it, something like " I completely enjoyed my time with you, and I love ya, we'll just do other things together"0 -
I'd be honest with her, in a very gentle way. Not about her inability or diet, but about your need to push yourself a bit. Train for that marathon, it's a great reason and a wonderful goal...surely she would understand your taking it to the next level in that case. My feeling is if she is truly a good friend she will understand. Tell her you'd love her to join you...give her a choice. Perhaps start with a warm up walk, visit a bit and run ahead and then back to her and finish the cool down with her.
You might also consider using a weight vest or walking weights to up your exercise if you think you can continue with her. Perhaps have lunch once a week to spend your time together and catch up. Make time with her important, that is what it's all about. Be creative. It's really about your relationship and you know her best.
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What's wrong with just being honest. " Hey, I want to start jogging a bit" and see where that goes. Who knows maybe she will be interested in starting a program such as C25k as well. Communication is the only way.0
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I think it's fair to tell her that you'd like to challenge yourself some more on these walks. Ask if she would mind starting out together as you warm up and chat, but let her know that halfway through the walk you're going to kick it into a higher gear and it's nothing personal - you're just trying to push your own limits.0
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Instead of ditching your friend, why not incentivize her into being more active with you? Make it a competition? Maybe, *gasp* encourage her gently towards pushing her limits?0
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Get some of them shoes by Sketchers that make you feel like you're walking up hill. I hear good things about them like a walking is now a workout.0
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coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
This would only be true if they had the exact same stats. She already said her friend is 4 inches shorter, so she likely has less room for a deficit while still getting her basic nutrition. Besides, faster weight loss does not equal more serious weight loss. Losing too fast will result in losing muscle mass, which no one wants.
And those people who lost 100 pounds in the same time it took you to lose 50 may have had much more to lose. Comparing numbers like that is at best meaningless and at worst destructive.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
People losing 100lbs in the same time it took you to lose that 55lbs or so weren't "more serious", they simply had different goals. It sounds like both of you were as serious as the other to reach your individual goals.0 -
OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
I say that I'm "more serious" about it because of the other choices she makes and she has even admitted it. I'm keeping to a more strict diet and exercise plan than she is and I have really tried to be that extra motivation for her. Her weight loss is great and I wasn't putting the numbers out there as a direct comparison (definitely was not my intent). I was just showing how we both have been successful thus far.
I will always remain friends with her inside and outside of work and at any weight, etc.
I have a personal goal weight and time frame I am trying to reach and I am trying to stick with it. It may mean I feel a bit more rushed to work out harder to achieve it than anyone else for that matter. I've tried to get her interested in using resistance bands at work. She gives up easily and I know this about her personality.
At what point do you need to put yourself first? This is my dilemma. I still will walk with her and will forever be friends with her. I'm at a point in my weight loss that I need to keep my focus so I don't fail myself.
but we're still talking about walking tho. I'm assuming the "other choices" she makes are diet related. well, as long she isn't forcing cupcakes into your mouth during the walk it has zero effect on you. because we're still talking about **walking**. I'm not sure what you mean by maximizing your walks, but I'm betting the total difference between your current break time strolls and a "Max Walk" during a work break is maybe 100 calories at best. As long as you are making the most of your diet you're good to go.
i'm not saying you HAVE to walk with her. if you want to stop, stop. just be real with yourself as to the reasons why.
Now we're getting somewhere with this discussion. What exactly are you trying to do to maximize your walks? If you're just trying to beat her around the building then it doesn't make much if any difference if you go faster than her. There are two ways to increase your calories burned walking.
1. Walk further. Mostly this just means walking for a longer period of time. This is walking, not running. Even a slow run doesn't make a huge difference in calories burned vs walking. Distance walked is the key.
2. Weigh more. If you carried some heavy rocks* in a backpack you would be moving more weight thus burning more calories.
*Whatever you have to add weight works.
I was thinking along the same lines...
You can buy some leg and/or arm weights. 2.5lbs on each would give you an extra 10lbs easy. That should put a little more into your walk
A weighted walking vest would be a much safer option. This would distribute the weight evenly. Even Target sells one.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=weighted+walking+vest
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I'm surprised so many people would be offended if a workout partner wanted to "separate" after starting out together. So, once you workout together you can't realign your personal goals if it doesn't include your friend? That sounds more like a marriage commitment, lol.
Of course you have to be careful because some might be sensitive that they're not progressing as fast or feel like they're being left behind, but it doesn't mean you're a bad friend. And geez, if a friend was THAT sensitive or easily offended I would have a hard time being good friends. Feeling "trapped" or like I'm unable to have my needs/wants considered makes me put up walls. I'm a very loyal friend, but it's not always about them, either.
My sisters and I workout together and spend lots of time together. But sometimes our needs change and we all adjust our sails. Sometimes it means being okay working out alone, or maybe we decide to make the change with the other one. My sister just starting going to gym classes instead of jogging. She's trying to lose more body fat and shape up. Sometimes she still jogs with us on Saturdays. Sometimes we try her classes. No one is looking down on another. Sometimes it's a fact... One wants to progress or up the intensity more than another. What's wrong with that? We love each other and realize that getting offended is silly and a reflection of our own self beliefs and not necessarily theirs.
I don't think the OP is looking down on her friend. What's wrong with saying that she wants to maximize a walk? Or saying that she's more serious? Maybe using lbs lost to reflect effort isn't the right way, but I don't think she's out of touch. Even if "more serious" isn't the right terminology, I think she's just trying to say she's ready to try new methods and worried about her friend feeling bad.
I'd do like others suggested... "I'm thinking about power walking (or jogging) two days a week. Are you interested?" Start your walks with her, break off and meet back at the office. Add weights the other days when you walk with her.
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Run past her and then circle back past her. You will still be around her, but both of you benefit0
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AddieOverhaul wrote: »I'm big into being honest with my friends, in the nicest way possible. I don't think you should have to sacrifice your workout time to keep her happy, and a good friend will understand that as long as you still make time for her. Could you tell her that you need to up the intensity level to achieve your goals and will still walk with her for part of the lunch hour but need 20 minutes to run? Or maybe run MWF and walk with her on tuesdays and thursdays as your "rest" days? You may inspire her to start running!
This.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
That's not how this works tho
Brb, ditching my lifting buddy for "insufficient gainz"0 -
It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
Second bonus. That will show her how much harder you've been working and motivate her to work harder too. There's no way that running ahead of her and running back could be taken as insulting.
They're taking an exercise break together, not window shopping. Presumably OP is savvy enough to tell her friend beforehand what she plans on doing, and why - that she wants to try running, but also wants to spend as much time as she can with her friend.
If I go to work out with someone and they're insulted that I do a different or (gasp!) harder program than they do, that's their issue. Nothing OP has said indicates the friend is upset that OP wants to work harder during their breaks.
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