Why the guilt?

Somebody_Loved

Last night I had way too many beers, took an Uber through the Jack in the Box drive through and proceeded to eat $11.85 worth of fast food (equal to several thousand calories on top of the copious amounts of beer I had already had).

Woke up this morning to quite the scale increase as well as a feeling of guilt. I had to do some serious self talk to pull myself out of it, but I was able to realize it was nothing worth stressing over. So it's going to take me another week or two to hit my goal? Big deal. The Sourdough Jack was delicious.

ETA: If I go over my goals for the day by a few hundred calories because I decided to have a couple glasses of wine, I don't feel guilty. The feelings of guilt occur when I either over-indulge beyond what I see as "reasonable", or when I over-indulge out of impulse rather than choice (and often times these two go together). What bothers me the most when this happens isn't the extra calories or hindrance it'll have on my weight loss goals, it's the fact that it challenges the idea I have of myself as a healthy, active, in control person.

Afura

I feel guilty for not being able to stop myself from a bad decision. I regret what happened when I did not.

gingersplace

What Orphia said. Women especially are taught that there are "good" and "bad" foods and that dieting is a virtue and eating whatever you like is a sin. In my case, I don't know if it's actual guilt as much as a self-esteem issue: "You're weak and have no willpower, blah blah." Which of course gives me permission to stay on the downward slide. So now I'm trying to tell myself, "Boy, that's yummy, but is it worth cutting out an extra 400 calories tomorrow?" Sometimes it is, most of the time it isn't.

endlessfall16

Need2Exerc1se wrote: »

There really isn't a big difference in regret and guilt. One is feeling bad about something you've done (regret) the other is feeling bad because you know or think you've done something wrong or bad (guilt)

So a convicted criminal is guilty because he knows or thinks he has done the crime, not necessarily the fact that he has done it? Great! throw all the crazy guys in jail.

selina884 wrote: »

Semantics

+1

glassyo

For me, like I said, I just get annoyed with myself because of the lack of will power. I know I can eat it as long as I log it but I like to eat most of my food at night so if I end up eating those donut(s) (or attempting to only eat that half a donut that ends up plural) during the day it screws me up for the night. Or when I tell myself I just want the shredded chicken and some fruit from the Whole Foods salad bar but end up with some samples of meat I want to try along with some sort of rice or pasta as well.

AnnPT77

Some of us will also have been raised in ways that foster this kind of thinking. (Please understand, this is not unadulterated "blame the parents" line - adults can become aware of having these feelings, and learn to manage them: We, not our parents, are now responsible for our attitudes and behavior.)

What I mean is that it's common for some to use use treats as rewards, and removal of special foods or eating opportunities as punishments. That positions food as something associated with guilt, shame, regret, reward, deserving or not deserving things, etc.

Also, some people find it productive to use guilt or self-criticism as sort of a motivator. I used to do that somewhat, but no longer do. At. All.

I know, and feel sad, that many women do feel guilt about food, "good" and "bad" foods, the "virtue" of thinness. It's sincerely a common, difficult problem. I don't, myself, ever recall having felt that way. (As an aside, that's not the only respect in which I'm kind of abnormal as a woman in our culture.) I know about it, but I don't understand it at a gut level.