Feeling discouraged by people's comments

girlwithcurls2

trjjoy wrote: »

Ignore them.

There are such better things to get "really upset" about.

Unknown

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laurenpjokl

I started having doubts myself after reading a lot on here about how you can't possibly survive on 1200 a day, even though I've done this before and it works. I usually eat between 1200 and 1300, and I feel fine. It took me about a week to get used to it.

I might start feeling hungry about an half an hour before a meal. I actually feel *kind of* less hungry then I did before, because I'm not mistaking boredom or thirst for hunger, if that makes sense.

vingogly

1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.

I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.

WinoGelato

vingogly wrote: »

1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.

I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.

I'm still not certain that the OP was referring to comments here on MFP vs what she was hearing in real life. I would like clarification, because as I mentioned above, if it is people who are close to her who know her history with bullimia, they could just be expressing concern which is probably not mean spirited, which is what a lot of people are inferring from this.

dustedwithsugar

First of all thank you all for all replies. I really didn't expect it, it feels amazing to have such a support.
WinoGelato, non of those people knows about my past. Bulimic episode was looong ago (5 years).
I agree with vingogly - it seems like some people are unable to accept that different ways work on different people. It all comes down to CICO, but how we achieve it it's totally up to us. I'm mostly on plant based diet, someone else might be on paleo, low carb, raw or any other diet. But a lot of people are feeling defensive, not even if you challenge their views, but if you dare to be successful with different approach than theirs.
I guess only solution is building thick skin and ignoring things like that. I lost 20 pounds with another 20 to go, so I'll have lots of opportunities to practise that

ASKyle

DKG28 wrote: »

we're so desensitized to the actual amount of food our bodies need by huge portions and calorie dense foods that many people can't imagine living eating only so much. Much less can they imagine subtracting some to create a calorie deficit for weight loss. So they make comments out of their ignorance. I was out to lunch recently and my friend ordered lasagna. She got a portion - kidding you not - of about 8 by 8 inches and 2 1/2 inches tall. That's 4 large portions on one lunch plate. Then there's the fast food dilemma: a regular size burger and small fries is, truly, a tiny bit of food, even though it may have 600-700 calories. Because it doesn't look like much food, people think they can size up, and well, "I'm still not eating that much!" - not realizing the calorie value of that still, rather small quantity. So, know that people's comments reflect poorly not on you, but on their ignorance of nutrition.

So much this. At breakfast last weekend, everyone is ordering an all-American breakfast, and I'm sitting there doing the math in my head. Two eggs, two sausages, hashbrowns, toast, cream in my coffee? It doesn't fit. I ordered and removed the two sausages, subbed fruit for the hashbrowns and everyone looked at me funny.

Yi5hedr3

1300-1500 is not very low!

allaboutthecake

dustedwithsugar wrote: »

I lost 20 pounds with another 20 to go, so I'll have lots of opportunities to practise that

Ignore the negativity....Summer will be here before you know it....and with that comes swimwear, shorts, and lots skin showing Good job losing 20lbs! keep it up! its obviously working for you. the other 20 will be off before you know it. And with that, the naysayers will be stunned at your new and improved summertime fit self!

CollieFit

vingogly wrote: »

1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.

I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.

So true. A friend/acquaintance of mine has lost next to no weight while being on Slimming World (this has been going on for years! -- lose a bit - gain it all back...), yet she harped on for ages about every little in and out of how it works and how she doesn't have to count any calories, there are "super speed free" foods of which she appears to be able to have limitless amounts, then there are "syns" and "red days" and "green days", "Healthy extras", "extra easy plans"............................


After 10 minutes of this I was ready to slit my wrists. Eventually she asked me what I was doing, and I said I wasn't doing anything other than weighing my food, logging what I eat into a free app and being more active... and I lost 21lb since January. Somehow I had the feeling she wasn't really happy for me.

khhregister

DKG28 wrote: »

we're so desensitized to the actual amount of food our bodies need by huge portions and calorie dense foods that many people can't imagine living eating only so much. Much less can they imagine subtracting some to create a calorie deficit for weight loss. So they make comments out of their ignorance. I was out to lunch recently and my friend ordered lasagna. She got a portion - kidding you not - of about 8 by 8 inches and 2 1/2 inches tall. That's 4 large portions on one lunch plate. Then there's the fast food dilemma: a regular size burger and small fries is, truly, a tiny bit of food, even though it may have 600-700 calories. Because it doesn't look like much food, people think they can size up, and well, "I'm still not eating that much!" - not realizing the calorie value of that still, rather small quantity. So, know that people's comments reflect poorly not on you, but on their ignorance of nutrition.

So much this. I feel so deprived when I eat the 1/3 of a restaurant meal that will fit into my caloric needs for lunchtime - and then what do I do with the 2/3 leftovers? Feel cheated of a decent-sized meal for 3 lunches in a row? It's gotten to the point I eat out very sparingly because I'm tired of this phenomenon. I really do prefer eating at home where I can make my own less calorically-dense meals and eat until I actually feel full.

I think a lot of people are confused and/or just in denial about the difference between the physical size of their meal and the quantity of calories it contains.

CrabNebula

I don't like eating out because I think the food is too expensive for what you get 99% of the time, you can't control much for quality of ingredients or calories, and well, you have no idea who is preparing your food and what disease they might have today that is being hacked all over your food without you knowing because godz forbid food service workers get PTO.

rankinsect

I just don't really talk about it with people. If they ask questions, I answer, but I don't let people know I'm losing weight. Obviously they aren't blind and can tell, but I don't invite the conversations, nor do I accept unsolicited advice.

MelodyandBarbells

rankinsect wrote: »

I just don't really talk about it with people. If they ask questions, I answer, but I don't let people know I'm losing weight. Obviously they aren't blind and can tell, but I don't invite the conversations, nor do I accept unsolicited advice.

I like this approach. that's all I'll say since I'm not even sure if this is a mean MFP people thread, or if the comments were from real life. I think some posters have attempted to request clarification, but no dice

Wickedfaery73

The first time around I was called 'crack girl' , accused of 'taking something' and throwing up and all kinds of stuff. Mostly by the women that I worked with who were also trying to lose weight and not succeeding. My sister in law kept telling me I was "obsessed" and was getting too skinny and she was SOOOO worried. This is a woman who has never been fat a day in her life and never had the urge to overeat all the time. I would tell these people what I was doing and none of them believed me. I finally just started telling them, very bluntly and sometimes rudely, that they had no idea what they were talking about.

catherinekalberg

There are alot of negative Nancy's on here just don't reply to them. It sounds like you're doing great. I think when people hear that others are eating less then they are then it immediately bothers them into saying something like you are starving yourself. I did have to start eating more to continue to loose weight. But my activity level required it. And that's my body not your's. You have to do what works for you and keeps you healthy. Starvation and what happens to your body when you are starving isn't really up for debate. Your body will cling to fat to use for fuel if you don't supply your body with the right amount of what it needs. People get confused when talking about starvation mode. Obviously you are eating and if your nutrients are being met then you won't have issues.

Maxematics

Wickedfaery73 wrote: »

The first time around I was called 'crack girl' , accused of 'taking something' and throwing up and all kinds of stuff. Mostly by the women that I worked with who were also trying to lose weight and not succeeding. My sister in law kept telling me I was "obsessed" and was getting too skinny and she was SOOOO worried. This is a woman who has never been fat a day in her life and never had the urge to overeat all the time. I would tell these people what I was doing and none of them believed me. I finally just started telling them, very bluntly and sometimes rudely, that they had no idea what they were talking about.

Oh Christ, I got this the first time around when I lost weight also.

Fresh out of high school I was 190 pounds and it took a year and change to get down to 115. Someone in my social circle decided to spread a rumor that I was using drugs to lose weight. It bothered me, but what bothered me more was that some of my friends and even a family member of mine decided to believe it. These are people that know how adamant I am against drug use after growing up with a drug-addicted parent. I had never been more insulted in my life at that point. I wasn't even exhibiting any behaviors that mimic those of a drug user.

It's unfortunate and pathetic, but I've noticed that weight loss, exercising, or even making healthier food choices tends to make other people react with vitriol.

catherinekalberg

vingogly wrote: »

1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.

I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.

^^^^^ exactly

WinoGelato

OP can you please clarify if the people you were referring to making these comments are in real life, or from interactions you've had here on MFP either through your Friends List or these forums?

I assumed you meant people you interact with in real life, since many of us have encountered people who are either skeptical of a calorie counting approach or that the concepts of "eat less/move more" can be effective. I would find it hard to believe that you would get significant pushback from the MFP community about eating 1300-1500 cals/day, unless you were also doing strenuous exercise on top of that and your net calories were below 1000 - that is when I usually see negative feedback from this community (and rightfully so in my opinion).

I think people want to turn this into a Mean People Thread and I'm just not getting that vibe from your original post.

dustedwithsugar

It's definitely not people here on MFP, actually here I saw most reasonable advice about losing weight.
It's few of my girlfriends (btw they're all trying to lose weight on crash diets, magic pills etc). Also I joined weightloss challenge on another website.

synacious, that sounds horrible

WinoGelato

dustedwithsugar wrote: »

It's definitely not people here on MFP, actually here I saw most reasonable advice about losing weight.
It's few of my girlfriends (btw they're all trying to lose weight on crash diets, magic pills etc). Also I joined weightloss challenge on another website.

synacious, that sounds horrible

Thank you for confirming my suspicions.

I think you are approaching this in a healthy, sustainable way and I would disregard the comments from girlfriends.

PaulaWallaDingDong

Wickedfaery73 wrote: »

The first time around I was called 'crack girl' , accused of 'taking something' and throwing up and all kinds of stuff.

Ha. I was accused of doing crack recently. It was by a guy my ex boyfriend ticked off who knew he was a partier back in the day. "Smoking that crack cocaine with Jay isn't a sustainable way to lose weight," he said. How annoying to have your hard work and restraint trivialized in that way.