Vent

Jdkbs
Jdkbs Posts: 98 Member
edited November 30 in Motivation and Support
I feel alone and am feeling my husband's disgust with me. I'm at my highest 220lb, trying not to medicate myself with food. I feel more and more isolated. I've become the slob stay at home mom, not good at anything, no career, sleeping to get by. Constantly failing at this weight loss battle. I feel like no one takes me serious. I'm a failure in there eyes. I'm a misfit and always have been. Never fit in or feel comfortable in my own skin. How can I be a good mother struggling like this?
I hope to get through today, tonight without turning to food. I wish I was at peace with it and myself.
It feels good to vent. I hope to find some inspiration here. Thanks

Replies

  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
    (((Hugs)))
    Sorry you're feeling so bad and don't have support at home. Glad you're here and you will definitely find support.
  • chaney3000
    chaney3000 Posts: 268 Member
    Step one is to get up an do something about your situation. Make small changes to your life that are positive. Set smaller goals that you can accomplish sooner than later to keep the motivation going. Get out and excersice with the kids if possible. That's a win win. Cook or share cooking with the family but use healthy dishes to try. Give up something bad for you and make a vow to withhold yourself from it. But it all starts with step one.
  • Malenurse51
    Malenurse51 Posts: 181 Member
    Hang in there, you're worth a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. People DO care for you and without you, life would not be the same. Even those of us that don't know you yet, would not have the privilege of your presence if you weren't around. Your being here makes a difference in everyone's life. Sometimes people become frustrated because they either aren't aware, or don't know how to help. Weight is a number, not a life. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a SAHM, I wish my wife could have done it. I wish my mom could have done it. Chin up, you're worth everything to someone.
  • Jdkbs
    Jdkbs Posts: 98 Member
    Wow, didn't expect support so soon. Thank you for responding and the advice. I was feeling super lonely and didn't want to eat.
    I do feel uplifted and am going to do some walking.
    Bless you guys.

  • Malenurse51
    Malenurse51 Posts: 181 Member
    Bless you, more!
  • saraAmcd
    saraAmcd Posts: 81 Member
    I've been there. You are probably depressed. Sometimes getting in a routine, cleaning something, or physical exercise (leslie sansone on youtube) elevates my mood so that I can think a little more objectively. Failing that, you're doctor may be able to prescribe a medication that can help you.
  • saraAmcd
    saraAmcd Posts: 81 Member
    ech. sorry Your, not you're
  • Jdkbs
    Jdkbs Posts: 98 Member
    Thanks Sara, I am on effexor, still have my low times. Im walking and texting now. I love Leslie Sansone on you tube. Needed some company, thanks again for responding.
  • Sarc_Warrior
    Sarc_Warrior Posts: 430 Member
    Being a mom is the toughest job in the world. BE PROUD AND OWN IT.
  • phil2795
    phil2795 Posts: 59 Member
    Step by Step ... You're not alone .. and you can do this !!
    Go Girl Go .. :):)
  • tech_hunter
    tech_hunter Posts: 350 Member
    Don't know what the rest of your home life is like, but you need support and encouragement. See if you can maybe find a support group in your town, it does not have to be fitness or diet related.

    Some days, getting out of bed to be present with your kids is a monumental exercise. I know, I raised three with a husband that thought I did nothing right. Know that you are going to have those days, but it will get better. Do one positive small thing a day for yourself, and one positive thing for your kids, and WRITE IT DOWN! Sometimes you can't see all you do when you are in the middle of it, but if you can read it back to yourself, the days start to pile up.
  • Jdkbs
    Jdkbs Posts: 98 Member
    Thanks tech, I will right down what I did positive for myself and kids each day. Seeing the list grow will help. Reaching out here is my positive for today!
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    Malenurse51 wrote: »
    Hang in there, you're worth a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. People DO care for you and without you, life would not be the same. Even those of us that don't know you yet, would not have the privilege of your presence if you weren't around. Your being here makes a difference in everyone's life. Sometimes people become frustrated because they either aren't aware, or don't know how to help. Weight is a number, not a life. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a SAHM, I wish my wife could have done it. I wish my mom could have done it. Chin up, you're worth everything to someone.

    What a lovely post! <3
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
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  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    Jdkbs wrote: »
    Wow, didn't expect support so soon. Thank you for responding and the advice. I was feeling super lonely and didn't want to eat.
    I do feel uplifted and am going to do some walking.
    Bless you guys.

    I'm glad you posted your thread... it's hard feeling alone. Sometimes you just have to reach out a bit to realize you're not. <3
  • Malenurse51
    Malenurse51 Posts: 181 Member
    Hearts_2015 wrote: »
    Jdkbs wrote: »
    Wow, didn't expect support so soon. Thank you for responding and the advice. I was feeling super lonely and didn't want to eat.
    I do feel uplifted and am going to do some walking.
    Bless you guys.

    I'm glad you posted your thread... it's hard feeling alone. Sometimes you just have to reach out a bit to realize you're not. <3

    ++++++
  • Rick_Nelson81
    Rick_Nelson81 Posts: 205 Member
    It sounds like you need a hobby or something constructive that will get you out of the house and help you be a little more active. If you like animals, you might look into doing something like a dog-walker; you can get paid to take other people's pets to the park, is that a thing? I'm just spit-balling, but something along those lines would be a good place to start, and I'll bet you'll feel a lot better getting some fresh air. Plus, walking around outside is always good exercise. Hell, you might even make some new friends, who knows, the world is larger than your living room, and I'm sure you have a lot of love in your heart, so share it with the world and you will be rewarded.
  • phxteach
    phxteach Posts: 309 Member
    Being a stay at home mom is a job that is highly undervalued. Keep a log of the positive things you do each day. In fact, make time each evening to ask your kids what they enjoyed that you did together. Take time to read to each other! There are tons of kids who do not have a mom and would give anything to be in that spot. Emotions can be so hard to control with all the mental and physical and hormonal variables. If it does not improve soon, please seek medical help for a solution. For emotional help, a few good posts on here can be a lift. Hugs.
  • momo_t90
    momo_t90 Posts: 288 Member
    I think being able to talk this through with a therapist would be great. Get your husband to go to a few sessions with you so he knows what you're experiencing and you two can be on the same page instead of letting it fester inside.

    You're doing great things already! Raising children and clearly fighting to change your situation! Keep working hard!
  • Rick_Nelson81
    Rick_Nelson81 Posts: 205 Member
    phxteach wrote: »
    Being a stay at home mom is a job that is highly undervalued. Keep a log of the positive things you do each day. In fact, make time each evening to ask your kids what they enjoyed that you did together. Take time to read to each other! There are tons of kids who do not have a mom and would give anything to be in that spot. Emotions can be so hard to control with all the mental and physical and hormonal variables. If it does not improve soon, please seek medical help for a solution. For emotional help, a few good posts on here can be a lift. Hugs.

    She's right (I'm assuming this author is a woman) a lot of men don't appreciate how much work it takes to be a caring mother, and even if they do, they often do not show it, or even acknowledge that you need some support and maybe even some positive attention. If he knows how you feel, maybe he will be more supportive, and that can give you a lot of positive energy I think. Hopefully he isn't so unapproachable that you can't let him know in some way what you're experiencing. I hope I don't seem insensitive, I'm just trying to give you some helpful perspective, I hope it is helpful.
  • NaturalNancy
    NaturalNancy Posts: 1,093 Member
    Everyone starts somewhere and every single person has problems and makes mistakes.
    Take it one day at a time.
    Walking is great exercise.
    Get your kids involved with your weight loss, take them walking with you or cook with them or let them help you plan healthy meals and snacks. Ignore anyone's negative opinion and be nice to yourself.
    I hope you feel better!
    (Getting outside always lifts my mood)
    :-)
  • Jdkbs
    Jdkbs Posts: 98 Member
    Wow, so much love here and good advice. <3
  • Rick_Nelson81
    Rick_Nelson81 Posts: 205 Member
    Feeling alone can be devastating, so try to make it a priority to reach out to your community and find support anywhere you can.
  • BethMilledge
    BethMilledge Posts: 367 Member
    Feel free to add me
  • PeachesNcreamgal
    PeachesNcreamgal Posts: 357 Member
    Realise that you're a beautiful person inside and outside too. I have been suffering from mental health issues since I was a kid so I know what loneliness and depression can do to you. What do you enjoy doing? Do something you like--> gardening, walking,talking to your mom. Dump all the junk food in the dustbin and get some fresh produce from the market. Believe me, the minute I cleaned up my diet, my sanity was restored. Most importantly, you have to love yourself, NO MATTER WHAT!
  • improvedchristine
    improvedchristine Posts: 39 Member
    I would not admit to myself that I was depressed. I finally went to therapy just to have someone to talk to, to vent. It really helped. I found self esteem, I learned my worth. If your budget is tight, there are sliding scales or interns. If you have any questions on that feel free to message me. I'm only 3 weeks into my journey here and I'm finding it so easy because with self esteem, I don't feel the need to eat my feelings away. Another thing that helped me is meetup.com. Hundreds of groups in your area of fun things to do like walking, photography, art, meditation, support groups etc...Its just other people in your area that have the same interests. I hope you find what you are looking for because you are worth it
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