not just changing my body, trying to change my mind

lindz4ever

I'm a 26 almost 27 year old mom, i've had a rough childhood and last year me and my husband had allot of problems. i have very low self esteem and always think that i'm not good enough, not smart, not attractive, just over all not anybodies first pick or favorite. since our problems last year with my husband and i i have become very insecure and jealous. and while things are better between us i'm still kinda hurt by the things that happen (he didn't cheat, but did talk to other girls while separated). i have been trying to read up on how to feel better about your self. how to feel good and to boost confidence, how to be less insecure and to stop being jealous. And i try to do what the articles are saying but my mind always goes back to that negative thinking. are there any tips or advice to help change how i look at my self? is there away i stop feeling like i'm not good at anything, that i am pretty. i want to be confident and feel good about me, but i have so much negative in my mind and that is spoken to me that im having trouble convincing my self. thanks for the time.

doloresanncooke

Are you able to get into counseling?

LuckyNumbers

Been there, done that, and still do it sometimes.

Counseling and group therapy really helped me, a lot. I went through a situation slightly different than yours, but I had the same feelings of inadequacy. When I think about it now, I barely recognize the girl I was, and my heart hurts for her. What I'm saying is, if you work to feel better, then you will feel better. You won't always feel this way about yourself.

I'll list a few things I do that help me remember I am not the worst person in the world. Some of them seem stupid or frivolous, but when you're really down on yourself, every little bit helps. If you're able to, though, please look into getting counseling.

- Organize my life (one drawer, one bank account, one piece of mail at a time)
- EXERCISE!
- Talk to a friend (a really good one)
- Read or listen to something uplifting (I like Tim Ferriss' podcast, as well as The Lively Show podcast)
- Play with my daughter
- Paint my toenails
- Tell myself that nobody is judging me (because they're not. Really. People are thinking about themselves and how they're perceived. Trust me.)

itsthehumidity

I have not had depression, and so I'm not able to appreciate how you feel, but it sounds like you're suffering and I'm sorry to hear that. My opinion is that you're a good candidate for professional assistance in the way of counseling and therapy. This assistance will give you the tools you need to dig down and reveal your value, which has been there all along.

I'm not qualified to suggest any manner in which to proceed, but as you seek help, know that you're worth much more than how you feel. Best of luck.

Toronto6fan

Make yourself a priority. Get out and do something for you, that you enjoy. For me its going for a walk and making time to see friends, doesn't matter what it is, just something you want to do.

Lizzy622

I found that exercise is wonderfully therapeutic especially outside. Also seeing how much further and faster you can go really boosts your self esteem. Get out and do this for you.

bebeisfit

All great suggestions. Therapy can do wonders, but if that's not an option. Maybe journal writing? Write out your feelings and perhaps a list of things you like about yourself. Can you get outside with your kids? Sometimes being inside can make things worse.

Wishing you the best!