umm..it hurts NOT to hold in my stomach

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drcrusher
drcrusher Posts: 21 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
OK, with a past of eating disorders and much abuse as a child and teenager and being made to feel disgusting and fat even at around 140lb (I'm 5'9" btw) and like my body was the enemy, not only for inviting criticism but also inappropriate sexual attention, it's not surprising that I have a lot of issues crawling out of the woodwork as I try to get healthy following some weight gain!!

I do have a therapist to help me deal with the big issues, so don't worry, I am doing this properly :)

But I noticed today when taking 'before' pictures that I've been holding in my stomach all my life and it hurts when I try to relax it! It's the weirdest thing! But it made me realise that I have so much tension in my body simply from trying to look different or look smaller or just the basic ptsd fight/flight and hypervigilance... It's so fascinating, and so horrifying, and so wonderful to finally be able to notice and help myself after all these years. Anyone else going through similar?

Replies

  • Char231023
    Char231023 Posts: 702 Member
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    I do that. It actually takes effort for me to stick out my stomach.
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
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    My belly hurts when I let it all hang out, too. But I'm always sucking in my tummy a little.
  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
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    I think this is true of a lot of us girls that are constantly told to "suck it in" when we were younger. My mother must have said those words every single time I entered the room. I still do it out of habit. Not sure I'll ever be able to break it. :/
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
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    Sucking it in, or just holding your core together? Holding your middle is good posture. Keeping a bunch of stress in your middle and feeling anxiety when you try to relax it is different. I get that too off and on (and same height as you with history of eating disorders, hi sister!) but it's not wrong or weird to hold your center together when you are upright, and it's good for your back.
  • KaleiAlanaSmith
    KaleiAlanaSmith Posts: 133 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I remember the day clearly when I started to "suck in my stomach". I was in 4th grade!!! So young. Ive been sucking in/ holding core every day since not even thinking about it, and when I don't suck in it hurts and is uncomfortable. I can't relax my stomach unless I'm sitting down.
  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
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    I've always been huge and do the same thing, I'm sure it's not a vanity thing since it surely makes zero difference in the way my stomach looks.

    It just feels comfortable.

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