Hopeless...is it?

seaniepoohbear

I have done MFP on and off for several years now but hate hate tracking and counting calories blah blah so after a few months quit. I'm on like day 11 this time and just found the "community"...I have Poly cystic ovarian syndrome which makes you have higher risk for diabetes, heart disease ect I'm insulin resistant and stuff and it's harder for my body to lose weight. Plus I'm in a house of four and the only one trying to change. My highest was 280 I took some really bad for me diet pills a few years ago and got down to probably 240 and the last 2-3 years stay around 260. Major junk food addiction as well as soda and sugar ect. I battle severe depression and what not and some days just feel hopeless! Like I'm already fat why try? I have zero support if anything I have a bunch of critics, skeptics, and jealousy?(people who sabotage and stuff things in my face if I do start doing good)
I just need some motivation and hope and I don't know exactly.
I am pretty much sedentary as in I don't move unles I absolutely have to most days. My whole body aches and I'm flat lazy so I need help! I know nothing about excersizing or food really. Someone please give me inspiration

gradchica27

If you want to lose weight you can. Log your food, maybe try a walk.

I am the only one in my house of six who needs to lose weight. My husband and oldest son need to gain weight. I'm also the only one who doesn't eat meat. Is it a pain to cook different meals or separate out my portion before adding butter/bacon to theirs? Yes. But you get used to it. It's more important for me to be healthy and feel good about myself than to save 5 min in the kitchen and eat the loaded baked potato.

Afura

Keep active on the forums, join some groups of people for things you like (ie I'm in a gamers group, lose weight no surgery, etc) and some MFP friends to help you keep coming back. If someone starts trying to sabotage you, turn away. When I'm feeling down I'll come on MFP and read the success stories because I know I can do it if I put myself to it. I had a problem with dropping off MFP for days, but I would have friends that would message and ask where I was and it brought me back. My highest was above 318, so I know where you're coming from, and where you can go.
Also, try and get away from those people who try and sabotage you (when possible). You may not have an 'addiction' to soda and sugar, but a bad relationship with food. I still have sugar (ilu chocolate) but with some work I've learned to bring it down to moderation. And don't beat yourself up if you do have a bad minute/hour/day, it happens. We're not super humans, just keep going.

seaniepoohbear

gradchica27 wrote: »

If you want to lose weight you can. Log your food, maybe try a walk.

I am the only one in my house of six who needs to lose weight. My husband and oldest son need to gain weight. I'm also the only one who doesn't eat meat. Is it a pain to cook different meals or separate out my portion before adding butter/bacon to theirs? Yes. But you get used to it. It's more important for me to be healthy and feel good about myself than to save 5 min in the kitchen and eat the loaded baked potato.

My husband needs to lose weight but he doesn't care to he just got put on meds and continues to junk out..I was told I had 3 months to lose or I had to go on BP meds so this last week I started doing the stationary bike VERY slow at the lowest resistance because anything more kills my knees and legs...so I feel like what's the post of trying. I can take short walks and have twice so far but even standing is a lot for me. It's so hard to feel like it's worth it and I don't know how to get passed that feeling. Like today the candy in the kitchen seems much more appealing than sitting on a stupid bike barely getting anywhere burning maybe 100 calories in an hour.
But still it's got to be better than nothing right?

Therealobi1

Not hopeless you just need to make the effort and stick with it when the going gets tough
Why don't you take things slowly and aim for half a pound a week and see how you get on. Nice and slow and hopefully not too drastic change for you. Also add in some walks everyday. Make as many friends as you can on here for your support.
Do this for your health. Good luck

sanfromny

I am PCOS among other things too. I hope you are under doctor's care. Since exercising isn't something you're used to try a 10-15 minute walking video. you can do it at home in your living room. Look at You tube Leslie Sansone walk off the pounds. And you really have to focus on logging. It gets easier over time


Something like this to get you started.
https://youtu.be/BlEVVzbwnQI

seaniepoohbear

How do y'all get passed the hard days?
Like I was doing awesome for the first week or so on my stationary bike like really pushing myself...but now I'm getting blah and literally cried the entire time on it today...not because it was hard but because I plain just didn't want to do it. Then all of a sudden I will feel all empowered and kick butt(well as much as my fat butt can) but then bam all motivation is gone again and I crave cookies like nobodies business.

jwcanfield

Have you tried, just for a couple of days, actually tracking what you are really eating? That kitchen candy (I know the magnetic draw) may not be so appealing when you realize just how many calories you're taking in if you eat just a few pieces. Of course it's more appealing than riding that bike! You may have to skip riding the bike at first til you reset your mental processes - and also skip the candy. It doesn't have to be an either/or choice.

I don't know what to say about your husband's choice to take pills and junk out. But his choices don't have to be your's. If standing is a lot, just make a point of standing up more frequently. Try to think of every extra motion - standing up, going up/down stairs/steps, down the driveway for mail, reaching UP to get cups from high shelf, ... - as a positive movement.

Therealobi1

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

How do y'all get passed the hard days?
Like I was doing awesome for the first week or so on my stationary bike like really pushing myself...but now I'm getting blah and literally cried the entire time on it today...not because it was hard but because I plain just didn't want to do it. Then all of a sudden I will feel all empowered and kick butt(well as much as my fat butt can) but then bam all motivation is gone again and I crave cookies like nobodies business.

You actually just have to force yourself. I only started with 20 mins a day which is finished before you know it. I to this day still dislike exercise but the feeling is great when you have done it. Cravings I still get. One day I can go crazy and others I tell myself no. Still wip. But I refuse to quit

sanfromny

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

How do y'all get passed the hard days?
Like I was doing awesome for the first week or so on my stationary bike like really pushing myself...but now I'm getting blah and literally cried the entire time on it today...not because it was hard but because I plain just didn't want to do it. Then all of a sudden I will feel all empowered and kick butt(well as much as my fat butt can) but then bam all motivation is gone again and I crave cookies like nobodies business.

The hard days are hard. No lie. A few months ago I sat in my bed and binged on a box of chocolate. I was so upset with myself after I cried. I didn't want to log it. I had to sleep on it. I woke up the next day and blogged about it then said to myself, now what? I moved on. I was soooooo hurt. It felt so bad. I was angry at myself. The next time I felt like binging I think back to that feeling of disappointment, of hurt, of sadness, of failure. I go back to what I wrote down when I felt at my lowest. It reminds me that I don't want to feel that way again. We learn from our failures. It does make us stronger.

positivepowers

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

gradchica27 wrote: »

If you want to lose weight you can. Log your food, maybe try a walk.

I am the only one in my house of six who needs to lose weight. My husband and oldest son need to gain weight. I'm also the only one who doesn't eat meat. Is it a pain to cook different meals or separate out my portion before adding butter/bacon to theirs? Yes. But you get used to it. It's more important for me to be healthy and feel good about myself than to save 5 min in the kitchen and eat the loaded baked potato.

My husband needs to lose weight but he doesn't care to he just got put on meds and continues to junk out..I was told I had 3 months to lose or I had to go on BP meds so this last week I started doing the stationary bike VERY slow at the lowest resistance because anything more kills my knees and legs...so I feel like what's the post of trying. I can take short walks and have twice so far but even standing is a lot for me. It's so hard to feel like it's worth it and I don't know how to get passed that feeling. Like today the candy in the kitchen seems much more appealing than sitting on a stupid bike barely getting anywhere burning maybe 100 calories in an hour.
But still it's got to be better than nothing right?

Starting slowly is still starting and in the long run that's what counts. I have fibromyalgia and some days it's all I can do to get out of bed, go to work and walk slowly for an hour on a treadmill. That's what I can do so that's what I do.

My son loves his junk food. I do, too, but I can't eat mass amounts like he does. He's willing to share but I've chosen not to go down that road, so at my request he's locks all of his junk food in a cabinet and hides the key. Maybe that would work for you and your husband. If he sees you succeed maybe he will try, too, and the candy will disappear.

seaniepoohbear

jwcanfield wrote: »

Have you tried, just for a couple of days, actually tracking what you are really eating? That kitchen candy (I know the magnetic draw) may not be so appealing when you realize just how many calories you're taking in if you eat just a few pieces. Of course it's more appealing than riding that bike! You may have to skip riding the bike at first til you reset your mental processes - and also skip the candy. It doesn't have to be an either/or choice.

I don't know what to say about your husband's choice to take pills and junk out. But his choices don't have to be your's. If standing is a lot, just make a point of standing up more frequently. Try to think of every extra motion - standing up, going up/down stairs/steps, down the driveway for mail, reaching UP to get cups from high shelf, ... - as a positive movement.

I have been for about 11 days measuring and tracking food. My DR wants me at about 1200 a day....I am usually about 1500-1700 and feel like I'm starving all day...but I went from probably eating 2400 to 1700 so think for now that's pretty darn good. I have stopped drinking soda besides MAYBE once a week and so far not even that much a couple drinks then back to flavored water(cheap brand crystal light which I know isn't great but better than soda) like last night I had eaten my calories and was trying to do my bike to help make it not a horrible calorie day and my stupid husband sat in front of me eating Hershey's. T that point I wished my bike moved so I could run him over

Quinn_Baker

"What's the point?"
The point is it will improve your health and most likely lengthen your life.
It's important! and you want it, right?

You can do it!! Make the efforts that you can and they will pay off.

sanfromny

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

jwcanfield wrote: »

Have you tried, just for a couple of days, actually tracking what you are really eating? That kitchen candy (I know the magnetic draw) may not be so appealing when you realize just how many calories you're taking in if you eat just a few pieces. Of course it's more appealing than riding that bike! You may have to skip riding the bike at first til you reset your mental processes - and also skip the candy. It doesn't have to be an either/or choice.

I don't know what to say about your husband's choice to take pills and junk out. But his choices don't have to be your's. If standing is a lot, just make a point of standing up more frequently. Try to think of every extra motion - standing up, going up/down stairs/steps, down the driveway for mail, reaching UP to get cups from high shelf, ... - as a positive movement.

I have been for about 11 days measuring and tracking food. My DR wants me at about 1200 a day....I am usually about 1500-1700 and feel like I'm starving all day...but I went from probably eating 2400 to 1700 so think for now that's pretty darn good. I have stopped drinking soda besides MAYBE once a week and so far not even that much a couple drinks then back to flavored water(cheap brand crystal light which I know isn't great but better than soda) like last night I had eaten my calories and was trying to do my bike to help make it not a horrible calorie day and my stupid husband sat in front of me eating Hershey's. T that point I wished my bike moved so I could run him over

Stick with this and I promise there will be a time when that will not phase you anymore! My husband does that alot, before I used to be fire hot, now it's like whatever. I used to hide when i used to workout at home so he didn't say anything but now I just do it, he comes home sees me exercising and and leaves me be until I'm done

Scamd83

People are stuffing things in your face?

seaniepoohbear

sanfromny wrote: »

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

jwcanfield wrote: »

Have you tried, just for a couple of days, actually tracking what you are really eating? That kitchen candy (I know the magnetic draw) may not be so appealing when you realize just how many calories you're taking in if you eat just a few pieces. Of course it's more appealing than riding that bike! You may have to skip riding the bike at first til you reset your mental processes - and also skip the candy. It doesn't have to be an either/or choice.

I don't know what to say about your husband's choice to take pills and junk out. But his choices don't have to be your's. If standing is a lot, just make a point of standing up more frequently. Try to think of every extra motion - standing up, going up/down stairs/steps, down the driveway for mail, reaching UP to get cups from high shelf, ... - as a positive movement.

I have been for about 11 days measuring and tracking food. My DR wants me at about 1200 a day....I am usually about 1500-1700 and feel like I'm starving all day...but I went from probably eating 2400 to 1700 so think for now that's pretty darn good. I have stopped drinking soda besides MAYBE once a week and so far not even that much a couple drinks then back to flavored water(cheap brand crystal light which I know isn't great but better than soda) like last night I had eaten my calories and was trying to do my bike to help make it not a horrible calorie day and my stupid husband sat in front of me eating Hershey's. T that point I wished my bike moved so I could run him over

Stick with this and I promise there will be a time when that will not phase you anymore! My husband does that alot, before I used to be fire hot, now it's like whatever. I used to hide when i used to workout at home so he didn't say anything but now I just do it, he comes home sees me exercising and and leaves me be until I'm done

Yes I hate to work out or eat in front of him! But now I do it to kind of run it back in his face because he will eat and be like mmmm this is so amazing blah blah so I pedal and will say ohhhh but is it worth the 400 calories? Lol I really think it's just jealousy that he doesn't want me to change because he isn't.
Portions are HARD! I feel constantly hungry and try to tell myself it's probably emotion hungry but it still doesn't help.

Afura

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

How do y'all get passed the hard days?
Like I was doing awesome for the first week or so on my stationary bike like really pushing myself...but now I'm getting blah and literally cried the entire time on it today...not because it was hard but because I plain just didn't want to do it. Then all of a sudden I will feel all empowered and kick butt(well as much as my fat butt can) but then bam all motivation is gone again and I crave cookies like nobodies business.

I do the best I can, and it's been a heck of a trip and sometimes I stumble but I keep going. Find exercises you like to do, and do those. I hate walking on a treadmill, but I like walking outdoors (when an option). I do a lot of online videos for different things to do rather than doing the same video over and over again.

You can't make someone else want to do it, but hopefully with your example it will help motivate your husband.

CrabNebula

Exercise to me is no more in question than getting up and going to work every morning. Honestly, the same kind of effort it takes to roll out of bed is the same amount of effort it takes to go exercise. You can't sit around and think and agonize every single day if you are going to work or not. You just get over and on with it.

If you don't like a particular exercise, find something you do like. Try different machines or schedule a meeting with a personal trainer. I run and a knee problem forced me to drop mileage, so instead of doing nothing, I row to make up for the mileage drop. I mean, it takes me 22-24 minutes of my day during lunch to run 5km. That 22-24 minutes is pretty much not a significant amount of time and it will pass quickly whether I am doing something or not, so might as well do something other than sitting around some more on my butt. If I feel not into it, I still force myself to do it anyway, lower the intensity, still hate maybe every second of it, BUT I NEVER REGRET DOING IT WHEN I AM DONE. NEVER.

You don't have to run 5ks during your lunch hour, because I am nutball for doing that and don't really expect anyone else to, but you can at least go out for a walk around where you work and do something.

If you are still against exercise, well, fine, you don't need it to lose weight. You just need to commit to eating less and you can't question it more than going to work either. You don't have to give up any food you love, you just have to eat less of it.

You have to be ready to make a change, you have to be committed to, at the bare minimum, eating below your TDEE. You have to decide your health and looks and you are more important than any chocolate or extra helping of mashed potatoes calling your name. It won't be easy, but the more you work on yourself, the easier it becomes to say no to temptations that fit either poorly or not at all in your calorie budget and eventually, you won't even be tempted anymore. Those things just simply won't be worth it to you. Like I could afford a brand new BMW, but if I did, I wouldn't be able to buy all of this other junk I want because too much of my disposable income would be going to the payment/insurance/upkeep of the car. Same thing with calories. Yeah, I could have ate two donuts this morning for 600-700 calories, but then I would have to cut back elsewhere in the day and I just don't want to have to go without later to have two donuts now. They aren't worth it.

sanfromny

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

sanfromny wrote: »

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

jwcanfield wrote: »

Have you tried, just for a couple of days, actually tracking what you are really eating? That kitchen candy (I know the magnetic draw) may not be so appealing when you realize just how many calories you're taking in if you eat just a few pieces. Of course it's more appealing than riding that bike! You may have to skip riding the bike at first til you reset your mental processes - and also skip the candy. It doesn't have to be an either/or choice.

I don't know what to say about your husband's choice to take pills and junk out. But his choices don't have to be your's. If standing is a lot, just make a point of standing up more frequently. Try to think of every extra motion - standing up, going up/down stairs/steps, down the driveway for mail, reaching UP to get cups from high shelf, ... - as a positive movement.

I have been for about 11 days measuring and tracking food. My DR wants me at about 1200 a day....I am usually about 1500-1700 and feel like I'm starving all day...but I went from probably eating 2400 to 1700 so think for now that's pretty darn good. I have stopped drinking soda besides MAYBE once a week and so far not even that much a couple drinks then back to flavored water(cheap brand crystal light which I know isn't great but better than soda) like last night I had eaten my calories and was trying to do my bike to help make it not a horrible calorie day and my stupid husband sat in front of me eating Hershey's. T that point I wished my bike moved so I could run him over

Stick with this and I promise there will be a time when that will not phase you anymore! My husband does that alot, before I used to be fire hot, now it's like whatever. I used to hide when i used to workout at home so he didn't say anything but now I just do it, he comes home sees me exercising and and leaves me be until I'm done

Yes I hate to work out or eat in front of him! But now I do it to kind of run it back in his face because he will eat and be like mmmm this is so amazing blah blah so I pedal and will say ohhhh but is it worth the 400 calories? Lol I really think it's just jealousy that he doesn't want me to change because he isn't.
Portions are HARD! I feel constantly hungry and try to tell myself it's probably emotion hungry but it still doesn't help.

Yes portions are hard. so you have to get lower calorie foods. Cutting back the soda is a good start. i try not to drink back my calories if I can help it. Low calorie bread whole wheat spaghetti ground turkey instead of beef. I eat foods I like still just alternate for something of lesser calories.

gramarye

seaniepoohbear wrote: »

How do y'all get passed the hard days?
Like I was doing awesome for the first week or so on my stationary bike like really pushing myself...but now I'm getting blah and literally cried the entire time on it today...not because it was hard but because I plain just didn't want to do it. Then all of a sudden I will feel all empowered and kick butt(well as much as my fat butt can) but then bam all motivation is gone again and I crave cookies like nobodies business.

This sounds a lot like you need to focus on taking care of your mental and emotional needs, if you're cycling through emotions that severely. I started up at 290, and I really had to focus on self care and treating myself kindly before I could deal with the effort of going through with weight loss. I simply could not be bothered to care about myself to put up with the tedium and work of dieting.

If you have access to it, try to talk to a therapist or other mental health professional to help with depression.

As for motivation and powering through the hard days, sometimes I just remind myself that doing this services my goals, and represents an effort on behalf of myself for the future. That'll usually be enough to get me through the worst days, but once in a while, I simply decide not to. The gym is not worth my mental health.

snowflake954

From your profile you're 25 years old and your health is compromised. And you don't think calorie counting and exercising is worth it? It's time to decide what you want for the rest of your life--not your husband, friends or family--you. You are under a doctor's care and should follow that advice--period. Exercise is always easier if you do something you like. You can try walking (I'd like to see your husband eat herseys in front of you on a long walk--ask him to join you, it'd be good for him too), there's zumba, dancing, regular biking, swimming, and the list goes on... If you can't pull out of your funk, I think you need therapy for depression. All any of us can do is our best-- one day you want to look back and say "I gave it my all".