Feeling discouraged by my reflection, and my journey so far (23yo mother)

amiwills

(Skip to last paragraph if you wish!)
Hi everyone. I am a 23 year old mother and went from a tight size 8/10 (pre baby) to a flabby size 12. I was one of those people who never needed to work out to stay slim, so after having my baby I assumed my body would do the work itself - wrong! I ended up letting myself go (baby is 18 months old now.) My whole body is wobbly and I can hardly look at myself in the mirror. My body has been getting me down because it doesn't suit me, I don't feel like myself. I used to wear fashionable clothes and feel like a supermodel and now I just feel terrible no matter what I wear. I have started this journey in hopes of looking slim and toned again but also to find myself again.

I started by changing my diet. Changing my diet was easy because I'm not someone who actually enjoys food that much. I cut out pasta, rice and potatoes altogether. I only eat fresh food and I eat small portions. I have one slice of wholemeal bread here and there (maybe once or twice or week.) I strictly drink water only. The single only problem I have with diet is that I love chocolate! I have dark chocolate when I eat it and not a lot. Is it possible that could be damaging my weight loss?

I have never exercised in my life until now. I started exercise in mid February by jogging outdoors, purely because I was too embarrassed to go to the gym. I went 4 times a week for all of 2 weeks before I got an injury (achilles!) That took a long time to recover so when it did, I started going to the gym instead of jogging as I was too worried about getting the same injury. So I started at the gym exactly two weeks ago, and have been going 6 times a week and intend to keep that up. I do cardio: 35mins interval training on cross trainer followed by 10mins or so on row machine and 10mins stair master. I sometimes use machines such as hip abductor, leg press, seated row. I want to incorporate deadlifts and squats in to my routine so I'm going to book with a personal trainer to show me how to do it properly. I also walk to and from my daughters preschool twice each week day, I push her in the pram, which gets me around 12,000 steps a day according to the health app on my iPhone.

Current Stats:
Age - 23
Sex- Female
Height - 5'5
Weight - 63.7kg (I weigh myself every Sunday, so tomorrow I weigh again)
Daily calorie intake goal - 1200

I never weighed myself before my baby because I liked how I looked and it never bothered me. In fact, I never weighed myself until Feb when I decided to lose weight. I weighed 68.7kg before starting. So I have lost a total of exactly 5kg (last weighed myself 6 days ago.) I should be feeling great but some days, like today, I just look at myself in the mirror and don't see a difference at all. I still look flabby head to toe and I know it isn't just going to fall off but thought I might look a bit different after losing 5kg. Also, my clothes still fit just the same and when I went to buy a new pair of jeans from Topshop I was W30L30 still What is everyone elses experience? I won't ask 'how long until I see a difference' because I know that is impossible to answer but I am hoping to hear some positive stories. Also, if it matters, the areas that bug me most are the top of my legs and my sides. I want my legs to be really slim like how they used to be. I just want to be slim and toned, not looking to build huge muscle. But preferably would like my pre-baby bum back!!

Any fellow mothers on here have any positive experiences?
Any tips at all from anyone? Anything I should be doing differently - more cardio?
How do I tone up?

Sorry the post is long, and thank you in advance for any responses

K10D2015

@amiwills first of all don't get discouraged and don't give up.

I lost all my weight by counting calories and only running outdoors. I never stepped foot in the gym so I believe you can do it too if you really want to. Log everything you eat (yes even the chocolate you say you love) and try your very best to stay under your calorie daily goal.

I am a 24 year mom of a 3 year old and I had felt same way as you are now after gaining all that weight during pregnancy. Just don't give up && good luck on your journey.

Feel free to add me

VintageFeline

I'm not a mother but I am someone who went from tight and firm to flabby because I was super fit then stopped and slowly gained a bunch of weight.

Lifting is what is going to be your biggest friend here and I think if you give it some time you will see a massive difference physically, it's going to do so much more for you composition than any amount of cardio can. I started resistance training as soon as I started to lose and the changes were huge and immediate, long before the scale showed any significant change. I cannot tell you how good squats have been for my already big butt starting to droop booty! (I'm 34, droop without exercise was inevitable).

And change your internal dialogue with yourself if you can, small steps but once you start being kind to yourself this whole thing gets a lot easier. I made peace with my physical self whatever it looked like in my late 20s and it was incredibly liberating. Now this is all about satisfying my own aesthetic but I'm good with myself whatever.

shadow2soul

To get firmer, you want strength training.
I personally like heavy weights. I do cardio as well. The cardio though is for me, just to influence how much I can eat and still lose at a reasonable rate.
I'm 26 yrs old and a mom of 2 boys (22 months & 4 yrs). My highest weight was 260 lbs (118.18 kg I think) after my first was born and I'm 5'4.5".

Things to look into for strength training:
-You are your own Gym
-Bodybuilding.com (don't fear the name, it has a lot of really good free programs)
-Strong Curves
-New Rules of Lifting for Women
-Stronglifts 5x5 (I personally like this one because it's simple)
-Ice Cream Fitness 5x5 (similar to stronglifts, but with added lifts)

Some threads you should look at here on MFP:
So You Want a Nice Stomach
Lifting is the Most Horrible Thing to a Woman Since Twiggy
Show Me Ur Heavy Lifting Results Please
Females Only Lifting Weight Training Results

cbihatt

Sorry, but most women never get their pre-baby body back. Even after losing weight, you will most likely look a little different. But, that isn't a bad thing! You made a person, for goodness sake!

That said, I think you are making good progress in your weight loss. Strength training is a great idea, and it sounds like that is the direction you are headed in with the trainer. You don't have to become an expert weight lifter to see results. Now, you just have to be patient and keep working towards your goals.