Self control issues since reaching maintenance
victoria_1024
Posts: 915 Member
So I lost 85 lbs in the past year and I always had great self control. I could carefully weigh out my 20 grams of m&ms and be totally satisfied with that. I almost never went over my calories and if I did, it was not much over and pretty much never over maintenance. But since reaching maintenance I have really struggled. I almost always go over my calories and on the weekends I'm eating so much I end up with stomachaches. I honestly don't know what's going on! I felt like losing weight was easy. Why was it so easy for me to stick with calories then and not now?? Has anyone else dealt with this? I am scared of failing and gaining the weight back. I have started eating at a deficit all week to make up for the massive amount I eat on the weekends but even then I can't stick to it.
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Yes - I did exactly the same last time I lost weight. I gained 40lbs back over the course of about 6 months. It was like I was outside my body watching myself do it. Very strange. Now I'm losing again, although more slowly than last time, and hoping to very slowly transition to maintenance.
You have to keep logging, and take it more seriously when you see a pattern of going over your calories. Do you have Trendweight or any other type of tracking program? That might scare you if it tells you that in X months you'll weigh X pounds. I feel for you though - I hope you can manage to get some control. KEEP LOGGING!0 -
I've been doing what OP is doing, but only over the last 48 hours. Hmmm.0
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Yes - I did exactly the same last time I lost weight. I gained 40lbs back over the course of about 6 months. It was like I was outside my body watching myself do it. Very strange. Now I'm losing again, although more slowly than last time, and hoping to very slowly transition to maintenance.
You have to keep logging, and take it more seriously when you see a pattern of going over your calories. Do you have Trendweight or any other type of tracking program? That might scare you if it tells you that in X months you'll weigh X pounds. I feel for you though - I hope you can manage to get some control. KEEP LOGGING!
Yes I need to be more accurate with logging. I typically do great all day logging and then at night I will end up eating some extra food beyond what I prelogged and then I'll just stop logging. On weekends like this where I truly lose control I stop logging all together. It's like I've given myself permission to just eat whatever.
I should look into trend weight too.0 -
bump0
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=ETkwZIi3R7w
This is new (2016) but I only saw it for the first this weekend. This kidney doctor nailed what has going with me for forty years. Better late than never. I think you will appreciate the science, graphs and solutions that pop up for some in maintenance. I did not know calorie reduction actually put us in starvation mode and set us up to fail. His solution I think is doable.0 -
Totally been there, just last month actually! With both my birthday and Easter being in March, I ate out a lot more than usual and overindulged on chocolate. There were days I logged in but didn't weigh/log anything and days where I was good up until around 9pm and then binged without logging. I also did the eating-til-you-feel-sick thing on more than one occasion. It's almost like a compulsion for me, if I know food is around, I have to eat it.
I felt like I'd lost all my self control but I decided not to let it undo all my hard work from the last year of maintaining. I've started afresh this month with a slight deficit to slowly lose the weight I put on and a new plan to curtail the night-time binges. I always have dessert while watching a movie/TV show at around 8:30. I've decided that now I will pause what I'm watching and then wash all my dishes and clean my teeth at 9pm every night. Obviously I'm only a few nights in but I have faith that it's going to work.
I think part of the problem with maintaining is that you have to find new goals to set. You no longer get the rush of stepping on the scale every week and discovering your lost weight. Now it's just like "hey cool, I weigh the same as last week" or "oops, I've put on half a kilo, hopefully it's just water weight."0 -
I am in the exact same boat and have pit on about 8 pounds since Christmas. I hit goal in September and I was managing ok until Chritmas and since then I can only manage a handful of reasonable days before I start to overindulge. Easter really set me back. I like the idea of setting fitness goals and I will try that as I am running a 10k in a few weeks that I have to train for so I will use that to get me more focused. Good luck to you. Maybe we can try to keep each other in check?0
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I'm doing a very tiny deficit, about 75 calories below TDEE. I read on here and other places that it's something like 50 calories a day over TDEE will net a gain of 5# in a year (no source, just my memory). Yes, it's hard when you know there's no cushion for when you eff up. Many times while I lost weight I thought, "Oh, this cookie is 250 cals, but that will only put me at maintenance so I'm okay!" I don't have that anymore.
I discovered chocolate covered coffee beans and use them as a snack throughout the day. I pre-log 10-15 grams in the morning and eat them slowly as the day goes. I get the boost from the chocolate and coffee, plus that "I snuck food, lel" feeling is there but without the guilt.0 -
I did the exact same thing when I entered my goal weight range last year, and ended up re-gaining half of the weight I had lost over the consequent months. What a bummer. So I started losing again this year. Luckily I didn't gain too much weight. The worst part is I knew I was going overboard with my calories, but couldn't seem to eat less. I think it had something to do with my transition into maintenance. I didn't gradually increase my calories, for starters, just went straight up to my TDEE. And it all went downhill from there.
ETA:
Totally agreed.Yes, it's hard when you know there's no cushion for when you eff up. Many times while I lost weight I thought, "Oh, this cookie is 250 cals, but that will only put me at maintenance so I'm okay!" I don't have that anymore.0 -
Do what you did when losing weight, just with a slightly higher calorie goal.
I don't log anymore, but maintain by following my meal plan; actually, like zyxst's approach, it creates a small deficit, that is super easy to stick to, and allows me to indulge a little now and then without fear of regain. I weigh every day and only eat food I like. The shift in mindset was hard, no wonder, I haven't kept a steady weight before in my life, and I imagined I'd never be able to see this as the new normal, but now, 17 months in, I can honestly say that I love maintenance!1 -
Thanks for the responses! Today has been better for me but it's not unusual for me to have a good day or even good week. I decided to get rid of some of the candy and treats in my house just for a while. I think I was filling my extra calories from maintenance with candy rather than filling food and I need to take a step back from it. So then I have been craving it more too.0
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After maintaining for 2 years, the "snacker" in me is still alive and well and only controlled by being vigilant. Sometimes I snack more than I should, sometimes I don't. Having new fitness goals, logging calories and trending weight helps keep me focused. Best of luck.0
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victoria_1024 wrote: »Thanks for the responses! Today has been better for me but it's not unusual for me to have a good day or even good week. I decided to get rid of some of the candy and treats in my house just for a while. I think I was filling my extra calories from maintenance with candy rather than filling food and I need to take a step back from it. So then I have been craving it more too.
Story of my life. But then I end up binging if I restrict too much. Seems I can't win!0 -
I've been feeling like this. I was very vigilant when I was losing, basically always below my calories. I think for me it is because I am struggling to get out of the losing mindset, so still having days when I am under maintenance and then I am lacking energy on other days leading to me wanting to eat loads more. I think consistency and a nutritious diet that keeps you satisifed and not lacking in anything what is key, and making sure you are getting enough calories generally.0
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sunparakeet wrote: »I typically do great all day logging and then at night I will end up eating some extra food beyond what I prelogged and then I'll just stop logging. On weekends like this where I truly lose control I stop logging all together. It's like I've given myself permission to just eat whatever.
You really should try logging one of those blowout days. I have had a day like that on occasion, where I seem to just go off the rails and eat like *kitten* all day. Until one day when I tried to log the day from memory and came up with around 3800 calories - that's 2100 calories OVER my maintenance. So that's what, a half a pound of pure fat that I gained? In ONE day?
Just because you didn't write it down doesn't mean you didn't eat it. MFP may not know what you ate but your body does. Your body logs every calorie whether you log them or not. Ignorance isn't bliss anymore because you're not ignorant to what makes you lose weight and what makes you gain.
Except your body doesn't work that way.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »sunparakeet wrote: »I typically do great all day logging and then at night I will end up eating some extra food beyond what I prelogged and then I'll just stop logging. On weekends like this where I truly lose control I stop logging all together. It's like I've given myself permission to just eat whatever.
You really should try logging one of those blowout days. I have had a day like that on occasion, where I seem to just go off the rails and eat like *kitten* all day. Until one day when I tried to log the day from memory and came up with around 3800 calories - that's 2100 calories OVER my maintenance. So that's what, a half a pound of pure fat that I gained? In ONE day?
Just because you didn't write it down doesn't mean you didn't eat it. MFP may not know what you ate but your body does. Your body logs every calorie whether you log them or not. Ignorance isn't bliss anymore because you're not ignorant to what makes you lose weight and what makes you gain.
Except your body doesn't work that way.
So how does it work?
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cwolfman13 wrote: »sunparakeet wrote: »I typically do great all day logging and then at night I will end up eating some extra food beyond what I prelogged and then I'll just stop logging. On weekends like this where I truly lose control I stop logging all together. It's like I've given myself permission to just eat whatever.
You really should try logging one of those blowout days. I have had a day like that on occasion, where I seem to just go off the rails and eat like *kitten* all day. Until one day when I tried to log the day from memory and came up with around 3800 calories - that's 2100 calories OVER my maintenance. So that's what, a half a pound of pure fat that I gained? In ONE day?
Just because you didn't write it down doesn't mean you didn't eat it. MFP may not know what you ate but your body does. Your body logs every calorie whether you log them or not. Ignorance isn't bliss anymore because you're not ignorant to what makes you lose weight and what makes you gain.
Except your body doesn't work that way.
So how does it work?
The human body strives for homeostasis and is very adept at balancing energy. Just like if you fast for a day you don't lose a bunch of fat, you don't gain a bunch of fat overeating for a day either. The human body will naturally slow down processes and will speed up processes when under-fed or over-fed in the short run...i.e. you have some excess energy, your body will put it to good use...grow a little extra hair...nails grow faster, repair damaged tissues, etc. Mind you this is just the short run...consistently underfeeding or overfeeding overrides your body's ability to maintain homeostasis...this is one of the major reasons weight loss is so slow...and really, most people gain weight very slowly as well.0 -
I read a study recently about how people who were most successful at weight loss maintenance (like maintaining over 5 years) were those that 1) maintained regular exercise 2) weighed at regular intervals (i.e. each week, month, whatever works) and 3) caught themselves in time to notice they are slipping up.
It's great you are catching yourself now before it's too late. I would also recommend stick to the logging like it's your religion, like how you were when you were in the process of losing weight.
Even on those days/dinners you binge and see you're over 1000 calories. And don't restrict yourself so much that you binge on it later. If you're craving brownies, eat it, then move one. Fried chicken? Have it and move one. Not a bad idea to load up on veggies with "junk" food so you feel more satisfied afterwards. Also not a bad idea to eat nutrient dense foods so you feel fuller, longer throughout the day and you don't binge later (think high fiber, high protein, lots of vitamin and minerals... i.e. good quality foods). I'm sure you know that... I mean you lost 85 lbs for goodness sake! That's a huge accomplishment. But i just thought I'd throw it out there
Use what you learned and worked for you when you were in the process of losing weight. Did you eat more fiber-ful foods to keep hunger at bay? Do that now. Did you always make it a point to workout? Do that now. Did you throw all your junk food out of that house to prevent temptation? Do that now.
Don't they say maintenance is the hardest part of weight loss? You can do this!0 -
I read a study recently about how people who were most successful at weight loss maintenance (like maintaining over 5 years) were those that 1) maintained regular exercise 2) weighed at regular intervals (i.e. each week, month, whatever works) and 3) caught themselves in time to notice they are slipping up.
It's great you are catching yourself now before it's too late. I would also recommend stick to the logging like it's your religion, like how you were when you were in the process of losing weight. Even on those days/dinners you binge and see you're over 1000 calories. And don't restrict yourself so much that you binge on it later. If you're craving brownies, eat it, then move one. Fried chicken? Have it and move one. Not a bad idea to load up on veggies with "junk" food so you feel more satisfied afterwards. Also not a bad idea to eat nutrient dense foods so you feel fuller, longer throughout the day and you don't binge later (think high fiber, high protein, lots of vitamin and minerals... i.e. good quality foods). I'm sure you know that... I mean you lost 85 lbs for goodness sake! That's a huge accomplishment. But i just thought I'd throw it out there
Use what you learned and worked for you when you were in the process of losing weight. Did you eat more fiber-ful foods to keep hunger at bay? Do that now. Did you always make it a point to workout? Do that now. Did you throw all your junk food out of that house to prevent temptation? Do that now.
Don't they say maintenance is the hardest part of weight loss? You can do this!
I am all three of those (but I have been doing this 2 years). Great points and I do believe (for me) this is how it works 100% for me and this is spot on.
OP, I eat really good Mon - Fri (I guess I do diet) but I eat what I want to on the weekends. I am ok with exercising like I do (i enjoy it) and especially so I can enjoy weekends free of calorie counting to the gram, instead I strive for a calorie range..0 -
I'm just coming out of a couple months like this, and one of the keys for me has been logging everything every day. I needed to see the numbers in black and white to get real about how much I was actually eating.0
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Great post, as I'm also struggling with overeating on the weekends and not logging then either, for the past couple of weeks. I've only gained a pound in the past month, but maintenance Is harder than I thought. I'm 3 months in it. I'm going back to strict logging. The last time I stopped logging, a couple of years ago, I regained my lost weight.0
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As hard as the initial fat loss is, maintenance is harder. You are working to stay in place and all the "decades of pounds" lost and big exciting changes are all gone.
The initial fat loss was like paying off a big mortgage debt with calories.
Now at maintenance, the debt is paid but you are managing the checkbook. It's not always fun to manage the checkbook, but we do it anyway to keep from going into debt again.
You have to decide you want to do what it takes to keep what you earned. You might need to just knuckle down and log those calories on the weekends. When you are full get the heck out of dodge away from the food and do something else. Usually within a couple of hours you stop thinking about all the food.
Also this can happen a lot if you are still eating too low of a deficit during the week. It can become a vicious cycle. You don't need as low of a deficit as when you had more body fat, in fact you should not be eating as low. The body doesn't have as much stored energy to draw from in a deficit anymore.
A nice even keel with calories is best, I like to call it a maintenance calorie tightrope. If you don't go to low on the calories over time, then the peaks (binges) won't be so high.
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californiagirl2012 wrote: »As hard as the initial fat loss is, maintenance is harder. You are working to stay in place and all the "decades of pounds" lost and big exciting changes are all gone.
The initial fat loss was like paying off a big mortgage debt with calories.
Now at maintenance, the debt is paid but you are managing the checkbook. It's not always fun to manage the checkbook, but we do it anyway to keep from going into debt again.
I really liked that analogy, very helpful!0 -
I read a study recently about how people who were most successful at weight loss maintenance (like maintaining over 5 years) were those that 1) maintained regular exercise 2) weighed at regular intervals (i.e. each week, month, whatever works) and 3) caught themselves in time to notice they are slipping up.
^^^This is me...but three years next week.
I do not find maintenance to be particularly hard, but I've moved basically 180* away from the SAD. I don't really eat any differently now than I did three years ago when I was losing weight...my diet still consists largely of whole foods...lots of veg, a couple servings of fruit, whole grains, legumes, and whole food starches...lean sourced protein and some healthy fats. Yes, I have a little more latitude for "treats"...but really, I leave that for splurging on pizza night every couple of weeks or having an extra piece of dark chocolate for desert. The only difference between my maintenance and my losing phase is about 500 calories...a bit larger serving of something or an extra snack...that's about it.
The way I look at it now is that I'm eating for my fitness and health...I'm not necessarily eating to maintain weight...I'm eating to maintain my health and fitness...the rest just kind of takes care of itself. I'm a pretty active guy and one thing my coach told me once that really resonated with me and changed my mentality around was, "as athletes we eat and we train...we don't diet and exercise." It may sound like semantics, but really, it is a different mindset...and I'm by no means some kind of awesome athlete, but I took that mentality to heart.0 -
Yes- I have been in this same position. Once my body started refeeding, it said "thaaaaank youuu!" and kept on going- now I just try to lose slower and NO demonizing food or food groups, all maintenance represents is a few extra calories, not a whole world of food groups that had previously been eliminated..0
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I'm not at my goal weight yet (I was once a few years ago, but then gained it all back and a bit more), but I feel these struggles right now too.
Maintenance is definitely an adjustment, I didn't know this and I completely stopped exercising and started eating anything and everything again. Bad idea.
But as for when I get there, I definitely plan on continuing to exercise. For one, because I feel like I will have worked to build up my endurance and it would be a shame to let that "go to waste" again. And two, being able to eat a bit more!
Another tip that I know I will work to apply to myself is to not severely restrict the next day/week after over eating. For me this can trigger even more binge eating. I am feeling extra hungry lately, and then I will eat less? Won't work for me.
I also think maintenance (or weightloss for that matter) can work it's self out (to a certain point... over eating every day, not so much). One day you eat a bit more, but maybe the next day you have a lot of physical activity or eat less and burn it off. Our bodies don't *have* to be given the same amount every day to stay about the same weight. Just like we can eat a bit more some days and less others to lose weight.0 -
Wow, 85 pounds - great job!
The next challenge is keeping that off.
I was on track to lose 102 pounds over about 54 weeks, and 3 months before reaching the objective, I set new specific goals in weight maintenance related to strength gains and fat loss.
Goals are the keys to success and potential in every area of life, and I was NOT going to that guy who gained weight back. I have maintained my 102 pounds lost going on 5 years now.
Too many folks just end their weight loss journey and start celebrating the accomplishment without a new direction.
That seldom ends well.
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I am small and short, well I should be small, never ever had to watch my weight until about 10 years ago. So I went 40+ years weighing about 115 without effort.
I'm ten pounds above that now and have lost down to about 117 then up to near 130.
It's a yo yo way 2 live and I'm hoping LCHF helps to break that up & down of 15 pounds pattern.
Many here have needed to lose so much and we all have different issues in terms of lifestyle, allergies, etc but for me, more weight aggravates my health problems.0 -
So many people struggle with this. They are great "dieters", but horrible "maintainers". Wanna know the secret to success? Change your brain. Think of yourself like an addict who is in recovery. Does an alcoholic say, "hey, I've been sober for 6 months now and I can go right back to drinking but just on the weekends." Sometimes, yes, they do and it's called falling off the wagon.
You are in RECOVERY from obesity now for the rest of your life. You have a chronic disease called obesity and you are just in recovery and managing your chronic illness. Does the diabetic who know has his sugars controlled say, "ok, cool, now I'll stop my meds." No.
The way to manage your chronic disease is to "take YOUR medicine" called logging your food, working out and balancing your intake every-single-day.
Stop eating blindly and log the food 90% of the time and still keep your exercise going. Look at Richard Simmons. He's the best example of someone who's managed his obesity for decades doing exactly what I'm recommending to you.
Lots of love and support
Your friendly dietitian1 -
BTW...CONGRATS on losing 85 POUNDS!!! That's 297,500 calories you've burned. AMAZING! Don't forget how hard you've worked for your accomplishments.0
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