Poor Body Image Day

brb_2013

So I'm getting married on Sunday, only two weeks notice. I ordered some shape ware to help me feel more confident in my dress but found out today that it won't arrive in time. I ran over to target and tried on basically everything.

Two years ago I was 50lbs lighter and I bought stuff off the rack at target. After sweating and crying the darn thing on, I realized their biggest size barely went on, and had hardly smoothed any of the lumps I was hoping.

I've been working on my body image, trying to love me now even though I've gained weight, but today just slapped me right in the face. I'm still crying on and off, just hating what I have done to myself.

I have a plan, it will work, but nothing can fix how I feel right now. Sticking to the plan is great but I can't undo what has been done and that regret is eating me alive today and will on Sunday as well. Selfish me just wants to skip the wedding part. I'm going to be so embarrassed.

LazSommer

How does that even happen? Surprise weddings? Am I not hip anymore at 25?

StacyChrz

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I just got married in November and understand the pressures of planning a wedding. I can't imagine having to plan one in just 2 weeks and I'm sure that is adding to your stress. Learning to love yourself takes time, it won't happen overnight. While nothing will change how you're feeling right now please try to forgive yourself. We all have tough days, days where we feel like nothing works and nothing fits and nothing is changing. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, don't bottle it up. Sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need. Don't give up on your wedding day.

As for shape wear, try Lane Bryant or Dress Barn if you have one in your area. I have had great luck with them in the not so distant past.

brb_2013

LazSommer wrote: »

How does that even happen? Surprise weddings? Am I not hip anymore at 25?

Surprise, no. Doing things quickly for personal reasons does indeed happen. We were trying to elope but neither of our mother's was going to let that happen. I'm only 26, your joke was lost on me. But gee, thanks for the support.

LazSommer

brb_2013 wrote: »

LazSommer wrote: »

How does that even happen? Surprise weddings? Am I not hip anymore at 25?

Surprise, no. Doing things quickly for personal reasons does indeed happen. We were trying to elope but neither of our mother's was going to let that happen. I'm only 26, your joke was lost on me. But gee, thanks for the support.

Military?

Otherwise it's a tough situation, but slaps in the face are usually blessings in disguise. Use it.

brb_2013

StacyChrz wrote: »

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I just got married in November and understand the pressures of planning a wedding. I can't imagine having to plan one in just 2 weeks and I'm sure that is adding to your stress. Learning to love yourself takes time, it won't happen overnight. While nothing will change how you're feeling right now please try to forgive yourself. We all have tough days, days where we feel like nothing works and nothing fits and nothing is changing. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, don't bottle it up. Sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need. Don't give up on your wedding day.

As for shape wear, try Lane Bryant or Dress Barn if you have one in your area. I have had great luck with them in the not so distant past.

Its super simple so the planning was easy and quick, but yeah the tears are just going to happen and Ive been doing pretty well in the self forgiveness department until today when it really hit me. I like the dress I just hate how I look in it. I'm hoping to get away with asking there to be no cell phone pictures taken.

Thank you. A few kind words go so far, and I know Im not the only one to feel this way. My partner keeps texting me other options but he just doesn't quite get it. Not sure many men can.

StacyChrz

brb_2013 wrote: »

StacyChrz wrote: »

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I just got married in November and understand the pressures of planning a wedding. I can't imagine having to plan one in just 2 weeks and I'm sure that is adding to your stress. Learning to love yourself takes time, it won't happen overnight. While nothing will change how you're feeling right now please try to forgive yourself. We all have tough days, days where we feel like nothing works and nothing fits and nothing is changing. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, don't bottle it up. Sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need. Don't give up on your wedding day.

As for shape wear, try Lane Bryant or Dress Barn if you have one in your area. I have had great luck with them in the not so distant past.

Its super simple so the planning was easy and quick, but yeah the tears are just going to happen and Ive been doing pretty well in the self forgiveness department until today when it really hit me. I like the dress I just hate how I look in it. I'm hoping to get away with asking there to be no cell phone pictures taken.

That is a totally reasonable request!

Shells918

Congratulations on getting married!!!!
If you have Dress Barn near you they have good shape wear.

I know you're feeling bad right now. But you're getting married. This is a wonderful thing!!! All that matters is that you are in love and happy. If you hate how you look, you can renew your vows when your done losing weight and take more pictures. I got married in 2012 and we've renewed our vows twice. I was almost 60 pounds heavier at the first vow renewal than I was when we got married. And when I finish losing weight we will do it again.

Take a few minutes, or hours, and remind yourself of all of the good things you've been doing for yourself. All brides are beautiful. You are and will be beautiful when you get married.

tulips_and_tea

brb_2013 wrote: »

StacyChrz wrote: »

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I just got married in November and understand the pressures of planning a wedding. I can't imagine having to plan one in just 2 weeks and I'm sure that is adding to your stress. Learning to love yourself takes time, it won't happen overnight. While nothing will change how you're feeling right now please try to forgive yourself. We all have tough days, days where we feel like nothing works and nothing fits and nothing is changing. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, don't bottle it up. Sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need. Don't give up on your wedding day.

As for shape wear, try Lane Bryant or Dress Barn if you have one in your area. I have had great luck with them in the not so distant past.

Its super simple so the planning was easy and quick, but yeah the tears are just going to happen and Ive been doing pretty well in the self forgiveness department until today when it really hit me. I like the dress I just hate how I look in it. I'm hoping to get away with asking there to be no cell phone pictures taken.

Thank you. A few kind words go so far, and I know Im not the only one to feel this way. My partner keeps texting me other options but he just doesn't quite get it. Not sure many men can.

Hey, at least he's trying! Sounds like you found a good partner and congrats on your upcoming wedding! There are lots of different styles and shapes of dresses out there so just keep trying until you find something you feel great it.

It's too bad you are bound by other people's timelines on this but definitely make sure you do get some photos of the big day.

kristencn

Congratulations on the wedding! I can't begin to imagine all the emotions going on and then adding the perfect dress and ones own idea of perfect image. Here's my first thought..... focus on the love of your life and the many wonderful years you'll have together. Focus on all the blessings you have AND will have in the future. Odds are weight will not be the most important thing. Think about what makes you happy....are you getting your perfect flowers, reception, family being there to share this beautiful moment. All that is what you'll remember the most. Let that be your happy place!

DaisyHamilton

Congratulations on your marriage! Honestly I was SO MUCH more chunky than I wanted to be at my wedding (one lb away from my highest weight), but we were engaged for three days before saying "screw it, let's just do it" so I know what you mean when you said you had no time to prepare. I went through the exact same thing. And I can HONESTLY tell you that the day that you get married, you will give ZERO sh**s about what you look like in terms of your weight and little rolls here and there.

myaminals

congrats on your wedding! also shape wear davids bridal has good corsets to help smooth the belly for 60. that was my problem area when i bought mine a few years ago. the lady will help you put it on if you ask. i needed help. try there if they have them where you live.

NaturalNancy

Congratulations on your wedding!
Your partner sounds nice!
He might not totally understand how you feel but him texting you different options and trying to help you is really sweet and supportive.
Have fun and enjoy yourself, it is YOUR day.
It's obvious that he loves you no matter what.
Don't get down on yourself.
Shift your focus. Forgive yourself.
Focus on what a great day it will be! To marry the love of your life! Marriage is such a blessing.
Keep trying until you find something that you like.
Try the stores that are suggested above.
It doesn't have to be perfect. 2 weeks is a short time but everything will work out!
Get beautiful flowers, and a pretty manicure and do your hair and know that everyone there will be with you because they love and support you.
Take some pictures! You can also take a close up picture of your hands, holding hands with your wedding rings on, and of you holding your flowers, take pictures of your cake, have someone take a picture when you guys are kissing!
Bless YOU and your soon to be husband.

brb_2013

myaminals wrote: »

congrats on your wedding! also shape wear davids bridal has good corsets to help smooth the belly for 60. that was my problem area when i bought mine a few years ago. the lady will help you put it on if you ask. i needed help. try there if they have them where you live.

Do they have plus sizes? From what I read about sizing I'd need a 40

myaminals

a few years later i went back and they had a plus size dress i was in a friends wedding. it goes by bra cup size so i am not sure what letter would go with that 40. but i did look on the web site and they sell a corset extender. also fredericks of hollywood. you lace those up. and they are created with real boning on sides. might be worth a shot. if you don't like them you can always return it. adoreme.com ships fast but i haven't tried their corsets. you could always call the davids bridal so you don't waste time driving there.

myaminals

good luck. i am sure you will find something to make you feel a bit better. and just take in the moment walking to your groom everything else will fade away.

Mersie1

Many congratulations! Happier days ahead!

88meli88

So much good advice here about shape wear...but honestly the most important thing is o get to a place in your head where you can enjoy your wedding. You deserve to enjoy this special day and your loved one too. Then you can get on with your plan and take gorgeous photos of your slimmer self in a year's time. By the time, you are celebrating your 5 or 10 year wedding anniversary, you will have so many happy photos of your fit self that the wedding photos will not matter! So buckle up, and onwards! You deserve it.

88meli88

You didn't say much about your dress but A-line dresses are very forgiving and might not need shape-wear even.