Going it alone: check out this article
Replies
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There's an awful lot of self-pity and finger pointing in that article.
As to the author's conclusion: if someone tried to "affirm" me when I was fat, I would have been really offended and angered. Talk about condescension!5 -
Bullying is not okay regardless of weight. This does seem like a very woe is me article though, and I just ain't got time for that kind of attitude. Its not okay to be morbidly obese and no one should ever tell anyone that it is imo
Body positivity is great and all but, health is more imporant.4 -
That's a lot of conjuncture about 'fat people' as a group. I don't feel isolated, and I don't feel as though I have a well of forgiveness either. I have had embarrassing moments (seat belt extenders/squished seats in airlines, changing the row at a theme park to the 'larger' row) because I was fat but heck, I understand why they happened, and challenge people to say something to my face about it.2
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Didn't count how many words in the article but could've shortened it to "Tell me it's good that I'm morbidly obese". Not ok to bully but sorry if you're too big to sit in the seat you paid for on the plane and are sitting in mine too. If it's no real inconvenience to me, I wouldn't mind but I'm not leaning into the window or person next to me because your thigh like forearm is all up in my business.0
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is there isolation...self created.
is it okay to be morbidly obese no not for that person or their family who may have to give up their lives to care for them when they get to the point where they can't or they die.
I don't care one way or the other...if someone wants to be fat so be it. I won't point and make fun, I will feel bad for them regardless of how they feel about themselves...why. Because I've been there...being fat is no fun and I had/have great self image...
but being fat is not fun. It hurts, it's cumbersome, it prevents people from doing a lot of things totally or if they can do it they can't do it easily.0 -
Some people are just mean. Theres no excuse for treating anyone like that. But, the author wants the world to change around her instead of changing herself...in order of importance: her attitude and then her weight...two things over which she does have control.0
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What I don't understand is how this lady knows what all the random strangers she encounters are thinking. And even what the people NOT around her are thinking...like all of those people who didn't say anything on the plane, because obviously they all knew what was going on and just didn't open their mouths because the guy was fat. I
/sarcasm1 -
I don't really see the point/benefit of proactively "affirming a fat person"- like @Jruzer said, that seems just as condescending as anything else. But I think most of the experiences the author is recounting are horrible. I don't for the life of me understand why people think weight is an acceptable area in which to critique a complete stranger or shout insults. The fat hate mentality is really bizarre.
Sure, health and weight loss are important, but it's not that easy. It's a lifelong, often deeply emotional struggle for many people, the vast majority of whom don't WANT to be obese. I like to hope they will all find a way to overcome those obstacles eventually but the idea that it is "not OK" to be obese, like they're a lesser human being in the meantime, is pretty messed up. They're still a human. They're not a murderer or pedophile or something. They're not less worthy.1 -
Not going to read all of that, but just to say if someone sat next to me and was so large they encroached onto my seat and affected my comfort I'd complain too. Nobody should have to deal with name calling, but neither should anybody be expected to suffer for someone else's weight problem.3
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There is no excuse for bullying or ridiculing someone for their weight. But in the airplane situation, I can certainly understand both sides. Once I thought I was lucky enough to get an empty seat next to me in one of those really small planes with two small seats on each side. I was on the window seat. Just as they were about to close the door a guy who weighed 450 if he weighed an ounce boarded.
What I experienced on that flight plastered against the window was not fair to me. I did not say anything to hurt the gentleman's feelings, of course; and I had no interested in shaming him for his weight. But I honestly believe he should have purchased two seats on that flight.0
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