I want to succeed at my weight loss goal, I need help.

KarKar75

I've just learned that for the 3rd time in less than 2yrs. I've had another miscarriage. During that time, I've gained almost 20lbs. On top of the 40 I already wanted to lose. I realize, if I'm going to succeed I need help from every angle possible. Please reach out if anyone can relate to feeling overwhelmed.

enterdanger

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Calorie counting and weight loss is all about balancing what fills you up and what satisfies you. That's the only trick. Try and pick foods that will fill you up while still saving enough calories for treats. I wouldn't buy into any restrictive diets (unless a doctor tells you there is a medical reason to restrict certain foods).

Trust MFP. With 60lbs to lose, I would personally set my goal at one pound a week. Log all the foods you eat. It can be eye opening. Then try and stay at the calorie limit that MFP gave you.

KarKar75

I appreciate you responding, thanks. I'll try to keep at it. I really just want to feel more of a community connection to MFP. I think that would motivate me to checking in...

hstoblish

I'm so sorry for your loss. Best of luck in all your goals. Add me if you'd like, though I'm not the best at interacting with people on here.

RodneyCornelius

What sad news to read...I am sorry that this happened this you. And I cross my fingers that the future brings you the child you wish for.

I would encourage you to keep at it. I was visiting family in the US for Christmas and realised that I was so far away from where I needed to weight-wise that it was just time to do something about it. And there were other warning signs for me as well. So I had to decide to make the change and plan for it. And it sounds like you are ready for that.

Everyone on MFP will have advice in different ways for different reasons. So I only share what worked for me in the hope that it gives you inspiration:

1. I set a goal weight. Or put differently, I began with the end in mind. If I didn't know where I wanted to end up, I couldn't make a plan to get there. My goal weight was to be 48kg (106 lbs) lighter than I was on New Year's Day.
2. Once I decided on my goal weight, I also decided that I didn't want to work towards that in one big go, so I broke it up into two phases. In Phase 1, I am focused on losing 1kg (2.2lbs) a week for the first 28kg (62 lbs). In Phase 2, I will slow that down to 0,5kg or 1 lbs a week for the last 20kg (44 lbs). Also, I decided to challenge myself and say that I wanted to meet my Phase 1 goal in time for my birthday, so that would give me 6 ½ months to achieve my Phase 1 goal. It's just a birthday present to myself.
3. I decided to use Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet (SBD) when I started. There is a lot of opinion on here about the SBD. I will just say that the reason I liked it is because for two weeks, it forced me to really think about food with respect to portions and sizes. You can of course do that without SBD, but in a way it also helped me to learn about food. As soon as Phase 1 of SBD was over, I jumped into regular eating (Phase 1 isn't unhealthy, but it is tiresome and variety is the key to enjoying your food more)
4. I decided against trying to stock my kitchen was low-fat or fat-free things. First because not many of those products exist where I live in Europe, but also because I believe that no food is inherently unhealthly when used in moderation. In addition to this, I removed things from my house which I can't resist. So for example, I can have 1 kg (2.2 lbs) or chocolate around my apartment and it will take my 3 months to eat it. However, a freshly baked baugette will not last 5 minutes. Nor will potatoes. So I buy those things in specific quantities for specific meals. Otherwise, they stay on the store shelf.
5. Make time for exercise. Given my goals, I really had to up my game in this area. And I did. And actually I feel better with each gym session. I focus mostly on spinning/elliptical for cardio, and circuit training (Body Pump...people here are sensitive about calling it strength training so I don't) for "muscular improvement. In Phase 2 of my plan, I will add in Stronglifts 5x5. I'm not looking for the body builder look. I just want more tone and definition.
6. I don't believe in cheat days. I know many people swear by them, but I hate them. If a colleague (who is a baker in his spare time), brings in some freshly make double chocolate chip muffins, I'm going to enjoy the fruits of his labour. But because I am tracking food on MFP and exercise on my Fitbit, I make an informed choice, and I know that there are steps I can take to offset/minimise the effect of that muffin. That's been the true learning of using MFP - I have data that I can use to make better decisions.
7. Stop dreading the plateau. I weigh myself every day. And when there are a few days when the weight stays the same, I no longer freak out. Without fail, the 4 times it seems like nothing has moved, by Day #3 or Day #4, the scale has gone down. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. If you keep at it and make the right exercise and food choices, the weight comes off

So since starting on New Year's Day (the planning started for Day 1 right after Christmas), I have lost 21.3kg (47 lbs). If you had told me on 01 January that by mid-April I would have been that far, I would have said it's impossible. But you keep pushing towards your goals. Keep your focus on the bigger picture, but celebrate the small healthy victories you achieve along the way, allow yourself to make mistakes, don't stop living life (have a slice of the damn cake every now and then and enjoy every bite!), and you'll get there in your own time and on your own terms.

Again, I don't claim to have all of the answers (or any). And I am in the midst of my own fitness journey, but I am happy to share what has worked for me and if you can get something from it, all the better!

Good luck with your fitness journey

KarKar75

Thanks for taking the time to respond, I will definitely try breaking up my goal of 65lbs. Into portions. It just bothered me that the goal weight has almost doubled since I've started..

TheKatelyn85

I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed. And I'm so sorry for your losses. Personally, my weight started to get out of control when my husband and I were having trouble TTC due to fertility issues (that of course I never knew about until then). Add that stress to the regular stresses of life and it becomes really hard to focus on eating healthy and exercising. And the feeling of helplessness with TTC or keeping a pregnancy sometimes makes people "act out" in other areas of life, like with food. Sometimes it's just not the right time for weight loss when life gets hard - at least it wasn't for me.

ntanasiciuk

So sorry...Can we please be friends? I'm needing to lose weight before ttc in a few months

motivatedsister

OP sorry for your loss. I suffered an early miscarriage in March, so I understand how you might be feeling. We weren't trying to conceive and it was my first pregnancy, so having it end this way and not really knowing why is hard. Even though I've known several women who are more overweight than I am have healthy full-term pregnancies, I can't help but wonder if maybe my weight had something to do with it.

Whether my weight was the reason or not that I had the miscarriage I mean I'll never now, but I do know that I am working hard to lose the weight so that my weight can never even be a factor/risk to me having a healthy pregnancy one day when we decide we're ready to try.