Being called fat, what I wish they knew.
melissa6771
Posts: 894 Member
Today, as I was pulling out of the post office, a girl came around the corner pulling in, but she cut the corner and was on my side of the road. I said, wow, WTF, that's not how you take a corner. Windows were open and she heard me. She called me a *kitten* among some other things. So I backed up because I was so pissed. We had some words back and forth, during which she called me a fat *kitten*. I don't even know the last time someone called me fat, actually called me that out loud. I honestly wanted to get out of the car and beat the crap out of her, to slam her stupid little *kitten* against her car. I was so angry inside. She then says she's taking my plate to call the police. Good, I hope she does. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even have my phone with me to do anything. I just left because I didn't trust myself to be there. When I was finally gone, I cried. Then I got mad. Then I cried. I thought about going back and wringing her little scrawny little neck. Of course I didn't... But I wanted to. That is probably the one and only thing that someone could say to really hurt me deeply. If she only knew. If she knew how badly her words could hurt someone. I wish I could go back and tell her that. Explain to her what that does to someone living as an overweight girl/woman in today's society. It's the last accepted form of hatred and bigotry. It's sad.
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Replies
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That sucks, shake it off!! Someday she will have someone say something mean to her. It all comes around. Hugs0
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It was a easy lame *kitten* of a blow. A person like that isn't worth ur hurt. Screw her0
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Yeah I had a 3yo call me names until I cried. Not a proud moment. But he was absolutely vicious. Definitely quit working for his family two weeks later.
Im sorry about all that, I would have been just as angry. She obviously doesn't have anything else to go off of except appearances. Just remember small people aren't always happy with themselves either and someone who can spew hate like that clearly isn't a happy person. Rise above her level
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Oooh that stings. I am sorry that happened to you.
She may not have made a bad turn on purpose. Misjudged the space or something. Highly doubt she made the turn with you in mind at all. She probably felt insulted with what she heard you say. No one likes to be criticized. If you are going to confront someone as you did by backing up, you have to be ready for anything.3 -
Well, on the one hand, yes it hurts. On the other - you initiated the confrontation and deliberately backed your car up to continue the confrontation. Don't start a fight if you're not OK with the idea of getting hurt in it.13
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Agreed - she was nasty but you started a fight with a stranger by commenting on her driving. And you talk about wanting to assault her in your post. If you don't like to be called names by ignorant people, don't give them an opening by starting a fight.4
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Being called fat, fat jokes, being discriminated against due to one's size is, like you said, the last accepted form of bigotry and hatred. It's not just tolerated but encouraged. Watch virtually any kids' movie and the 'dumb' character or the overly 'silly' character is chubby. In your case, her insult of your appearance was simply an easy go-to. She couldn't think of anything relevant or valid to criticize you on so she went for the easiest blow, the one that lacked the necessity of any resemblance of intelligence but would elicit an emotional response. Unfortunately the fix for ignorance isn't an easy one. Using this forum as an outlet was a good recourse for you instead of escalating the confrontation so good for you!2
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I wish people knew to take insults in stride and not cry about them like a baby, particularly after getting aggressive in a road rage situation.2
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As far as me commenting on her driving, yes, I did. Had I not been prepared and stopped, that would've been an accident. I have been hit twice in the past two years while at a complete stop. One messed up my knee, the other my back. I don't think I could take being hit again. I'm just starting to feel better after almost two years of constant pain, a million doctors appointments, physical therapy, and numerous cortisone shots. I can't even count the amount of times I've almost been hit since then by unaware drivers. I didn't call her names, I didn't get out of the car to go after her. Yes, I backed up and was angry about the nasty names she called me, that's it. Everything else was just thoughts in my mind. I have a right to my thoughts. By the way, if you do something wrong driving, how about just saying, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I cut it that close. She didn't need to react like that when she was in the wrong. She was in my lane, on my side of the road.
Just yesterday, I was leaving my mothers house. I got to the end of the street and there's a woman parked in the middle of the road, literally in the middle of the road, standing by her car. She waved a car by that was coming off the road that it leads to, then waved me around her and said something. As I pulled up I said what? She was like, I'm waiting for a bus. I said, in the middle of the road? She says, lighten up. Lol. Really? Why not pull to the side instead of blocking the whole road? So if I go around her and a car comes to turn into the road, because I'm on their side of the road, who's at fault? Yup, probably me. So bizarre. But that's people on the road today, like they're the only ones there, no regard for anyone else or their safety.
I think my reaction too ever was probably cumulative and also because of the name calling. It hit me at a moment that I was out of tolerance and patience.2 -
Being called fat, fat jokes, being discriminated against due to one's size is, like you said, the last accepted form of bigotry and hatred. It's not just tolerated but encouraged. Watch virtually any kids' movie and the 'dumb' character or the overly 'silly' character is chubby. In your case, her insult of your appearance was simply an easy go-to. She couldn't think of anything relevant or valid to criticize you on so she went for the easiest blow, the one that lacked the necessity of any resemblance of intelligence but would elicit an emotional response. Unfortunately the fix for ignorance isn't an easy one. Using this forum as an outlet was a good recourse for you instead of escalating the confrontation so good for you!
Thank you. And you're probably right. People don't like being called out on stuff when they're wrong and that's how they react, so instead she insulted me. And I reacted. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have let it bother me. But I'm not perfect.0 -
I'm going to take out my past baggage on everyone because damnit they should know better!
Even though they don't know me.3 -
1. OP cussed at a stranger
2. Stranger objects to be cussed and and cussed back
3. Instead of moving on the OP backs up and says mean things to the stranger
4. The stranger says mean things back
5. Now OP mad tho?
Perhaps in the future to not cuss out total strangers if you don't wish to hear the mean things they will say to someone that says mean things to them first.5 -
I feel like you wouldn't last very long in New Brunswick... One day of driving here and your head would probably explode.0
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people often insult women by calling us fat. i was 97 pound and anorexic, and a guy in the next car called me a fat *bleep* obviously he just wanted me to feel bad, since i was from overweight. and i've seen it happen to other women the same way.1
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melissa6771 wrote: »As far as me commenting on her driving, yes, I did. Had I not been prepared and stopped, that would've been an accident. I have been hit twice in the past two years while at a complete stop. One messed up my knee, the other my back. I don't think I could take being hit again. I'm just starting to feel better after almost two years of constant pain, a million doctors appointments, physical therapy, and numerous cortisone shots. I can't even count the amount of times I've almost been hit since then by unaware drivers. I didn't call her names, I didn't get out of the car to go after her. Yes, I backed up and was angry about the nasty names she called me, that's it. Everything else was just thoughts in my mind. I have a right to my thoughts. By the way, if you do something wrong driving, how about just saying, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I cut it that close. She didn't need to react like that when she was in the wrong. She was in my lane, on my side of the road.
Just yesterday, I was leaving my mothers house. I got to the end of the street and there's a woman parked in the middle of the road, literally in the middle of the road, standing by her car. She waved a car by that was coming off the road that it leads to, then waved me around her and said something. As I pulled up I said what? She was like, I'm waiting for a bus. I said, in the middle of the road? She says, lighten up. Lol. Really? Why not pull to the side instead of blocking the whole road? So if I go around her and a car comes to turn into the road, because I'm on their side of the road, who's at fault? Yup, probably me. So bizarre. But that's people on the road today, like they're the only ones there, no regard for anyone else or their safety.
I think my reaction too ever was probably cumulative and also because of the name calling. It hit me at a moment that I was out of tolerance and patience.
You have a right to the thoughts in your head. Others have a right to comment on those thoughts when you expose those thoughts on a public forum.
Someone called you fat after you initiated a confrontation. I was called a fat wh0re for walking on a beach. I laughed. Words used against you only have the power you give them.
If she knew how much her words hurt you, she'd be extremely pleased with herself. After all, it was her intent to hurt you. She was sucessful.0 -
Use that anger to run harder, lift heavier. Kick a mean punch to that sand bag or whatever you call it in your kick boxing class.1
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You're completely right being big is an accepted form of bigotry male/female alike,you're a beautiful woman don't let some lil piss ant bring you down....use it,so when you hit your goals you can so pleasingly smear it in her and people like her faces,it's tough and I'm not done but In just the amount I have lost(78lbs) I get to do a lil smearing and it's worth it trust me.0
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rankinsect wrote: »Well, on the one hand, yes it hurts. On the other - you initiated the confrontation and deliberately backed your car up to continue the confrontation. Don't start a fight if you're not OK with the idea of getting hurt in it.
I agree, not a smart move. In cases like this, it's better to just drive on. This is what leads to road rage.
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People are not always going to drive the way you want them to drive, and you can't make them. Some people drive like idiots. The driving-like-idiots thing is their fault, but a verbal altercation that you start is your own. I'm not condoning what she said, but what did you think was going to happen? That she'd meekly apologize to the person who backed up in the parking lot to yell at her?
If you can't take it, don't dish it out. If you're road raging, it's much better not to dish it out in the first place. One of these days the person you decide to lecture on the error of their ways is going to be crazier than you and carrying a weapon, and being called fat is going to wind up being the least of your worries.1 -
My attitude.. I'm fat, your ugly.
I can diet1 -
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Fit4LifeAR wrote: »rankinsect wrote: »Well, on the one hand, yes it hurts. On the other - you initiated the confrontation and deliberately backed your car up to continue the confrontation. Don't start a fight if you're not OK with the idea of getting hurt in it.
I agree, not a smart move. In cases like this, it's better to just drive on. This is what leads to road rage.
^ This. It sounds like a great way to get yourself killed or arrested. If you're that upset about someone else's driving then I strongly suggest taking a moment to reflect upon your inner anger issues and then doing something about it before you do have a run in with law enforcement.0 -
Fat *kitten*, skinny *kitten*, ugly *kitten*, stupid *kitten*
Meh...people will always find a way to insult you ..even if you were a Victoria's Secret model and cussed someone out you'd get a physically-based insult
But we all have low moments when things hurt that shouldn't ...you'll get over it, cos you're an adult
Awww look at all da baby cats ...so cute0 -
Fat *kitten*, skinny *kitten*, ugly *kitten*, stupid *kitten*
Meh...people will always find a way to insult you ..even if you were a Victoria's Secret model and cussed someone out you'd get a physically-based insult
But we all have low moments when things hurt that shouldn't ...you'll get over it, cos you're an adult
Awww look at all da baby cats ...so cute
They're all the same, but different
OP, I know it sucks when someone attacks you in a personal manner, but you did start. What type of response were you expecting from her? For her to hear you from a moving vehicle, you were obviously talking loud enough for it to reach her.1
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