No happier after weight loss?
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dave_in_ni
Posts: 533 Member
I've been over weight all my life. It really kills self esteem getting all the smart comments and insults especially as a child. This year I said enough is enough and managed to stick to a diet losing 35lbs so far which puts me in the correct BMI for my height and weight, so technically no longer fat or over weight.
I always wanted to be a normal weight and somehow imagined I'd be happier once I got here but I can't say I am, my confidence hasn't grown any, sure its nice for people to comment on your weight loss but its boring now. I just can't help but think was it all worth it.
Anyone else ever feel like this?
I always wanted to be a normal weight and somehow imagined I'd be happier once I got here but I can't say I am, my confidence hasn't grown any, sure its nice for people to comment on your weight loss but its boring now. I just can't help but think was it all worth it.
Anyone else ever feel like this?
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Replies
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Yes, but I turned to minimalism, and I've been SO much happier.2
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Thin people aren't happy just because they're thin... sounds like you need to look at your life and decide what you're doing with it to improve your quality of life.10
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Are you working out? That helps some people, especially when they feel their body shape improve.2
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First of all, good work on losing those 35lbs!
It was worth losing it simply for your overall health. I'm 35 years old and struggling with liver problems. Heart problems run rampant in my family and nearly all female members of my extended family (I have a very large family) have either diabetes and/or osteoporosis. If nothing else, look at the long time benefits to that awesome work you did!
Also, just as there is no magical pill to lose weight, losing weight won't magically make problems disappear or give you endless self confidence. These might sometimes be related, but after a life time of low self-esteem, losing weight alone might not be enough to change that.TavistockToad wrote: »Thin people aren't happy just because they're thin... sounds like you need to look at your life and decide what you're doing with it to improve your quality of life.
This is excellent advice and I'd like to add: if you can't figure it out yourself, think about getting professional help before you slip into a vicious circle of gaining-losing-gaining-losing-losing too much-gaining-gaining too much etc.
Best luck to you!6 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Thin people aren't happy just because they're thin... sounds like you need to look at your life and decide what you're doing with it to improve your quality of life.
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Well done for losing all that weight! This is a common thing that people who lose weight go through. Your happiness will never be found in the number on the scales. People ignore other aspects of their lives that they are not happy with and think that their weight is the main contributor to their unhappiness, so by losing weight they will be happier and it's really not that simple. Look at what else you have going on, what else you'd like to improve and moving forward focus your energy on what you can do to change your whole life, not just your weight. The more you focus on the good things, the more good things there will be to focus on. Weight is just a number, you have to accept certain things about yourself to be happy with yourself.4
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Being thin/fit should give you less worries about sickness and any less worries should mean more relief and thus happiness, well, for those who struggle all their life anyway.
For some it's like Paris Hilton earning another million dollars.0 -
you were overweight due to being unhappy....losing the weight doesn't change that...find out why you aren't happy and change that.6
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It's kinda like anticipating an upcoming vacation. You look forward to it, think about it a lot, and have a great week when you get there. But once you get back to work, the joy you derived from the vacation starts to subside as time passes.
You can't count on people, things, or weight loss to make you happy long-term. You have to work on finding things you enjoy and incorporating them into your life.
Weight loss can make you healthier and possibly remove physical and emotional barriers to doing what you wanted. But it doesn't wipe away body image issues, low self-esteem, or negative thinking. You may have to work on that separately.5 -
dave_in_ni wrote: »I've been over weight all my life. It really kills self esteem getting all the smart comments and insults especially as a child. This year I said enough is enough and managed to stick to a diet losing 35lbs so far which puts me in the correct BMI for my height and weight, so technically no longer fat or over weight.
I always wanted to be a normal weight and somehow imagined I'd be happier once I got here but I can't say I am, my confidence hasn't grown any, sure its nice for people to comment on your weight loss but its boring now. I just can't help but think was it all worth it.
Anyone else ever feel like this?
First of all. Well done! What an achievement and you should be so proud. Without sounding harsh did you lose weight for you or to prove those horrible bullies wrong? Only through my own experiences I have learned never to lose weight for anyone else but yourself. What makes you feel good and happy is so important while losing weight and then maintaining. Sure getting comments is great but it does wear off eventually, that's natural with any achievement we make. Stay strong and ask yourself truly why you wanted to lose weight.0 -
Happiness is a choice. It takes introspection and appreciation of what is within our control and what is not. It's just a state of mind regardless of weight, height, gender, income. ...etc.
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As others have said, your weight is not the key to your overall happiness. Usually, relationships are - whether its with yourself, or others. I hope you find your mojo, its sure to be out there!4
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Happiness is a choice. It takes introspection and appreciation of what is within our control and what is not. It's just a state of mind regardless of weight, height, gender, income. ...etc.
^^This+1
Nothing guarantees happiness.
You are at a healthier weight now, that is a big accomplishment.
Maybe try to work on building your confidence. You are worth it!
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As an adult I've weighed less than a healthy BMI all the way to crossing the line into being obese.
My happiness in life and with myself didn't have much to do with my weight but what I was doing. I felt my healthiest and most confident about myself at about the middle of the healthy BMI range. I think it was more that I was being more social, starting a new job, dressing better, etc at that life stage. At my current life stage I have a pretty positive attitude. I am happier to be healthier, in less pain, able to walk farther because of my weight loss but I don't really care what people think about my looks. I'm the same person inside.1 -
Being thin does not change who you are. It's still the same person in there. I know I feel better when I exercise. I guess getting those endorphins going. I know when I looked really good I tended to have more trouble with other females friends. They would wonder why I did it and why I ate this and that and why it took up so much of my time. They were not supportive. Some were family members. You may want to speak with a counselor or someone who's been in your position. I think sometimes we just need to vent and may not have anyone we trust to vent to. Find someone to talk to. You'll feel better. Make sure it's someone you trust though and not a gossip. Maybe even a professional. Good luck.1
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TavistockToad wrote: »Thin people aren't happy just because they're thin... sounds like you need to look at your life and decide what you're doing with it to improve your quality of life.
this.
And unfortunately it's a common thing- folks blame the weight on their unhappiness- and it's a deeper issue- and they get to a goal weight and realize with crushing dispair that it's not the weight.
Certainly things are parallel to increasing your dopamine and making you feel better (running/challenging yourself/lifting/races/rock climbing/hiking)- but they are not a one and one correlation.
Have to do some introspection and find the root cause- and then figure out a way to be okay with who you are- over weight/thin or not. And that's a thing. It's hard.6 -
Just because you lost weight doesn't mean that you are going to be happier. You are more than likely healthier than you have been in the past. But you have to be in a good place in your mind as well. I've been there and done that.
Think about the positive side effects from losing the weight. Be proud of your success! Jeeze I'm super proud of you and I don't even know you. Write positive motivational messages on your mirror so that is the first thing you see in the morning!
Believe5 -
I felt the same way while I was losing weight. I wasn't unhappy before losing weight though, it was more that I thought some aspects of my life that I wasn't completely happy with would change just with the weight loss, which they didn't. I had to make separate effort to change those things. I ended up going to therapy for a while to figure myself out, not long, but even the short time helped.
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Hobbies, meditation and/or yoga, and maybe therapy?0
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Thanks for all the advice. I have been working out, 6 days per week lifting ever since I started my diet, I have to say I never get the endorphin rush, never did. I get the satisfaction of having done it after I finish though and that's about the height of it.
I get what you guys are getting at though, Its the same with folks who win the lottery, they assumed once they had millions they'd he happy, I guess we all do but its true what they say money doesn't buy happiness and neither does weight loss, sure its a good thing I've lost the weight and I am still planning on cutting until I get into single digit body fat percentage but as you say there is more to this. Someone once said happiness is an inside job and its very much true, I just have to figure out what happiness is to me.2
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