Sorry a long one but I need help desperately!

HollisGrant

I hear you about the sugar. You can protect yourself against cravings by eating regular meals -- never miss a meal. Look for low calorie foods that make you feel full (like leafy greens and broccoli). I have a huge sweet tooth also and found the cravings went away when I cut sugar out of my diet, The only sugar I eat now is an apple or other piece of fruit. Some people can eat sweets in moderation, but I can't, so for me it's better to not eat it at all.

It helps me with both sweets and hunger to drink water. I bought a water bottle, keep it full of filtered water and lemon slices, and try to drink 2 a day. The lemon makes it seem like a treat.

Believe it or not, other people won't notice you exercising. They're thinking about themselves. I suggest you start with a walk if you have aches and pains. Set your clock to get up early and do everything the night before so you have time for it -- lay your clothes out, fix your food ahead of time, etc. Start gentle exercise on a regular basis and you will soon be looking forward to it. Walking is easy on the body, too.

You can do this! Read through the MFP success stories to see how many people have turned their whole lives around.

Watch this true story if you need some inspiration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

boatsie77

All good advice above...but before you can employ the 'mechanics' of weight loss, you must first find the REAL YOU inside; love her, embrace her and also be grateful for your miraculous body that has got you to this point in your life where you are prepared to give it the love and respect it deserves. I highly recommend you read the book "Unteathered Soul" by Michael Singer (read and re-read it often). It will help you understand that the negative, self-defeating voices inside your head is NOT "You" and how to find peace within yourself that will make your journey to good health more joyful and fulfilling. Start your journey by finding YOU and you will succeed.

HollisGrant

First of all, you are NOT ugly. You are a beautiful woman trying to get fit. And that is commendable. :-)

As far as the sweet tooth part, I SO hear you on that! That has always been my biggest problem. Don't give them up cold turkey. Slowly start to weed out the sweets and bad foods. Get better alternative sweets, like organic dark chocolate, which is actually good for you. Also, eat fruit! I find that having some pineapple or strawberries totally curbs my sweets craving.

Since you are working a lot, it is tough to squeeze in workouts. In that case, concentrate on eating healthy. My best advice is food prep. On Sundays, I will cook a lot of chicken, veggies and a healthy complex card such as brown rice or sweet potato, and have it readily available to just heat up and go. Lately, I have been having lots of salads because it's been so hot. Again, cook a lot of chicken and then just throw a salad together and bring it to work! Also, drinking lots of water not only hydrates you but curbs cravings.

Hope I was able to help. Feel free to add me if you like. Keep your head up. You CAN do this!!!

-Jessica

Good suggestions. I do the same thing with meal prep. I eat a lot of brown rice, lentils, and vegetables, so I cook rice and lentils for several days and then spend 5 minutes heating it up and adding blanched or stir-fried veggies. Whatever type of food you like to eat, make it in batches ahead of time and then you will have extra time for other things like exercise.

shell1379

Hi your not alone and you are a beautiful woman no matter what size you are. Since you don't have time in your schedule within the day to work out. I find it easy for me since I'm a Mother of 4 girls and I'm married working full-time that I work out in the evening or late at night when I have my me time. I also have disciplined myself to eat before 8:30 and try my best to avoid stress which often have cause me to eat. I have my sweet tooth once in while not a big sweet eater but I desire something I eat learning to eat in moderation which is half of the portion size. I'm learning everyday how to develop a healthy lifestyle and with every little step give myself a pat on the back and if i fall get back up and work harder. So don't beat your self down, just find a routine a fits your schedule there is a 24 hour fitness which is perfect for people with busy schedule who just want to unload stress and tension and get a good workout anytime of the day, night, or morning. Snack on trail mix or almonds or pecans which will give you a full sensation and curb some of the sweet tooth and if you eat ice cream eat low fat or not choose half of the portion size as if you were feeding a 12month baby some ice cream. Don't worry you will succeed because you are a winner just for acknowledging and sharing that takes courage and strength.

Zaniejane

Keep it simple. Eat at or below TDEE and include half a cup of ice cream in your daily calories.
Walk or exercise the way you like to according to a plan that YOU choose. Take notice every day of what makes you beautiful. If this is tough, write it down every day. Start with five things and increase. Squat and lunge and lift if and when you want to and be proud of your strength. :flowerforyou:

etremoi53

Hi, I understand the issues of trying to lose weight when you are crippled by physical pain. I have had arthritis in my knees for a long time and as I have aged it has crept into other areas of my body. Some days I feel pretty good and some days I wake up and am very stiff and lots of joints are painful. Many days I ask myself how am I going to get through the day and do everything I need to do in this while dealing with the pain and stiffness and weight loss seems like a stupid goal when just getting through the day is hard enough. There are so many great suggestions that other people have replied. I would write down the ones that click with you and that you think you can start with and do on a consistent basis and then try to do just one for a start. When you make progress on one, add another.
I cut most of the added sugar out of my diet because it really makes a large difference in your health. I also had a pretty hefty sweet tooth so I know the lovely beguiling nature of sugar. I decided to use Splenda in my coffee and add it to plain yogurt with fresh fruit when I wanted sweetened yogurt. I add a little to my bran flakes now because I started to use unsweetened almond milk and the flavor was just not quite there for me. Almond milk has considerably less calories than regular milk and less sugar. It took me a while to switch but it finally seemed like a change I could stick with. I am trying to add exercise even in small increments. I suggest that you walk just 15 minutes a day if you are very limited but make the commitment to do it every day, then when you feel like you have that down, increase the time by 5 minutes and then 5 more. I have had the most success by adding changes slowly. I have not lost lots of weight yet but have made some really good changes to my diet and exercise and I keep coming back to MFP. Don't give up! You can do it. Make some friends online here and keep logging on. I can use more friends and I would be happy to respond frequently to your posts to keep you going so if you think I can help you, add me to your friends. Keep believing it is possible.

Vailara

There is lots of great advice here, and I'm just going to add what worked for me, as you asked .

I was sad to read your comments about yourself and even that you've "wasted" years being fat. I know some people think it's best for us to feel bad about ourselves so that we'll lose the weight. I don't agree. I think it's better to feel good about yourself, so that you want to look after your body and treat it right. Feel proud of what you've achieved as a bigger person, even if it's just little things. Being fat doesn't make you a bad, less worthy person. It's inconvenient and it might make you a bit uncomfortable, or breathless and make some things more awkward. Life is easier being slimmer. But it doesn't say anything about who you are. Please don't judge yourself on your weight.

When I started my motivation was improved health, and I honestly think that makes it easier than having looks as a motivation. In fact, initially I didn't plan to lose weight at all - I just wanted to get fitter! Like you, I'm a cross-legged sitter and have painful knees. I was finding exercise difficult and realised that it would be easier if I weighed less, so initially I planned to try to lose some weight. I thought 10% of my bodyweight would make a difference, and that was my initial goal.

I started off very simply, following the No S diet. You can google it, but it's very simple. No snacks, no sweets and no seconds, except sometimes on S days (Saturday, Sunday, special days and sick days). I lost my first bit of weight JUST doing that. I don't know if it's for everybody. I didn't feel as if I was a sugar addict to start with, so it was easier for me. I just had to get used to not eating between meals. Initially, I did have calorific drinks (such as milk or orange juice) between meals if I was feeling dizzy/hungry, but I soon got used to only having tea and water. I still stick very loosely to No S, as the "no snacking" rule cuts out a lot of danger foods!

Exercise-wise, I started off gently, with walking. I used to the Leslie Sansone videos, which are more or less just marching on the spot. It seems like it's not a lot of exercise, but when you're bigger, you're still marching that bigger body and I would get hot doing them so I knew they were "working". I also started very early on with resistance training, because I was keen to preserve muscle as I lost weight.

After losing a little weight I came to MFP, because I was looking for a food and exercise tracker. I set my weight loss for 1lb a week, sometimes dropping to 1/2 lb a week when I found it hard, and logged my exercise and ate it back. I had slow, steady weight loss. Later, I found it simpler to change over to TDEE - 20% and I've more or less stuck with that. Either way, I had quite a small deficit for a bigger person. I've since read that if you have a high body fat % (I did!), then you "should" have a bigger deficit, going for 2lb a week on MFP, or TDEE - 30%. (I think this is because if you have a lot of fat, it's easier to preserve muscle. You can get away with eating less and losing weight faster). However, for ME, I was sometimes even finding it difficult to stick to 1lb loss a week, so the advantage of a small deficit was simply that I stuck with it, week after week and month after month.

One of the big discoveries for me was that my body lies about hunger and satiety. I had got fat by listening to my body! So now, I don't. I eat my meals at mealtimes. If I'm hungry between meals, I usually have a drink if I can and eventually the hunger goes. If I don't feel particularly hungry at a meal, I eat it anyway. Again, this might not work for everybody and I know it goes against a lot of sensible advice on eating, but it works for me.

TL:DR - this is the advice I would give -
Love yourself as you are now.
Diet/exercise to improve health and fitness, rather than because you "should".
Don't make things any harder than they need to be (eat a reasonable amount, don't obsess, don't worry too much about macros to start with).
Just stick with it, and if you slip up, don't feel guilty or give up. Allow yourself some flexibility and just keep on going!

I don't have any advice on sugar addiction, so YMMV may vary, but that's what's working for me. Best of luck .

tjthegreatone

Hi all,
I haven't logged in for a while but only because I have been really busy. I've been trying very hard to eat healthily but I'm struggling. I don't eat take away's and it hasn't been too difficult other than yesterday and today I really fancied fish and chips but I've resisted. I have a sweet tooth and I'm struggling with the sweets. I have had ice cream because it's been so hot and I haven't felt well.
I believe sugar is like a drug but not just sugar, if I still have coffee with one sugar or fruit, it's not enough. If I give up chocolate, sweets, ice cream, cakes, etc, I find I start to feel ill. I start to feel sick, faint, shaky and dizzy, it's what I assume withdrawal from drugs is like. I don't know how to give it up completely so any advice would be great.

The other thing is I have been very busy working but being sat down for hours with very little exercise. I have another 8 days like this because I'm working on a project for a competition and I have a lot to do in little time. The problem is my joints are stiffening, my mobility is getting worse. I'm in constant pain and I know I have to get myself moving again. I have a lot of pain in my knees due to arthritis which isn't just down to my weight although my weight is a big problem. When we were kids at school and had to sit on the floor in class, we were made to cross our legs, I still do that! I believe this is my biggest problem because it leaves me in a lot of pain and struggling to get up but I can't seem to stop myself, it's automatic for me, I just can't stop.

So all in all, I feel like a fat freak, I'm avoiding going out because I don't want people to see how fat and ugly I am, I'm struggling to get up from a seated position because of my knees, I'm in constant pain with my back and having to take strong painkillers to get me through the day and i'm struggling to walk. I can't see how I can beat this and get healthy and fit when I'm struggling so much. How do you find a way to make yourself believe in yourself? This is where I fail every time, I need to believe in myself but I don't know how. I would love some of you who have lost a lot of weight to tell me how you found the self belief to get you through the tough times.

Please tell me your story and share your tips, any advice is welcome! x

I'm scared, I'm 41 years

I'm going to be harsh. You are 41, yet you write like you are 80 years old!!!

You're still young and have your health, and I don't see why aches and pains should stop you from achieving your goals - you just have to work around them. Find low-impact exercises. For example, the elliptical, walking, swimming, exercise bike, upper body strength training.

Secondly, weight has A LOT to do with the symptoms of arthritis. I can guarantee that if you were to lose about 10% of your body weight your symptoms would markedly improve if not disappear. Most patients refuse to accept this because they are resigned and defeatist about their weight and can't imagine it improving.

Lastly you sound very English with this 'healthy eating' chat. I dunno why but that phrase gets on my nerves - I reckon it is why many people fail, as it leads to all or nothing behaviour and food gets labelled as good/bad, healthy/unhealthy. There is no dichotomy - it is only food. You don't have to eat what you don't like in the guise of being healthy.

In my opinion food isn't the enemy nor is it a drug - you cannot go cold turkey - you have to eat to live. Think about the things you like to eat (which may be high in sugar or saturated fat) and think about substitutions or reductions. So if coffee comes with 3 sugars, cut down to 2 or even 2.5. If you normally scoff the whole packet of biscuits, try eating half or three-quarters. If you like ice-cream, try eating one scoop instead of two. Think about cooking your own meals, research food high in protein and nutrients to increase your satiety.

It might help to share meals with others if possible as the social aspect also reduces the tendency to overeat and makes the food itself less important (I find this to be the case for me as I live alone).

Lastly you have the same right to occupy space in the world as the beautiful people so please don't hide at home, get out and enjoy the sunshine. Being overweight is not a sign of being a moral/physical failure.

tjthegreatone

After losing a little weight I came to MFP, because I was looking for a food and exercise tracker. I set my weight loss for 1lb a week, sometimes dropping to 1/2 lb a week when I found it hard, and logged my exercise and ate it back. I had slow, steady weight loss. Later, I found it simpler to change over to TDEE - 20% and I've more or less stuck with that. Either way, I had quite a small deficit for a bigger person. I've since read that if you have a high body fat % (I did!), then you "should" have a bigger deficit, going for 2lb a week on MFP, or TDEE - 30%. (I think this is because if you have a lot of fat, it's easier to preserve muscle. You can get away with eating less and losing weight faster). However, for ME, I was sometimes even finding it difficult to stick to 1lb loss a week, so the advantage of a small deficit was simply that I stuck with it, week after week and month after month.

This makes sense to me. I find it's better to be consistent with a small deficit than to try to aim for massive losses. I will also add that it's important to log every single day and be honest with yourself. I've set myself a goal of 0.5lb/week but as I have less than 5lb to goal I've been giving myself a lot of leeway and enjoying all the food...but logging it so I can see trends and where I need to cut back or make better/smarter substitutions. Afterall I don't intend to be on this site forever.

Fitscorcher

Thank you all so much for your support and advice, it all makes a lot of sense. I wrote the post in the early hours this morning and didn't expect so many to respond. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. I know I wrote like an 80 year old but most the time I feel 80!

I don't sit and scoff a whole packet of biscuits, I don't buy them. I have 3 sons ages 13,15 & 16 and they are only allowed sweets one day a week on the weekend. I was pinching a couple but they won't allow me to now as they are trying to help me. Sweets & chocolate are my problem but I don't sit and binge. I did a few months ago twice in 2 weeks, I ate 3 cakes in one day which is very unusual for me and on another occasion I bought 5 500ml tubs of ben and jerry's cookie dough ice cream, which I ate with my sons and husband over about a week. I realized the problem and went to see my GP, she wasn't very helpful but told me the antidepressants I'm taking are the best ones for and eating disorder.

I have a tumour on the pituitary glad which has thrown all my hormones out and can't be treated. It's not life threatening but it causes all sorts of problems, one of the effects it has is that I can gain weight easily but have to really fight to lose it. I had lost 5st/70lbs but I had an injury and couldn't use the gym for 18 months so gained all of it back so I'm back at square one. I also suffer from low blood sugar sometimes, it seems odd that a person my size can have low blood sugar especially since most of my family members (mother, brother, sister, grandparents) are diabetics with too much sugar in their blood.

I'm feeling so much better today and more focused, thank you all for being so supportive x

bdruggles

Our size has nothing to do with how well, or poorly, our bodies handle sugar. I'm hypoglycemic and I have several family members who are (or where) diabetic. It makes reaching for sugary things tempting when I get shaky and cranky, but I know they'll do me in. I concentrate on leaning toward proteins and fats instead of carbs, not so much that I throw things further out of whack, but enough to keep me full without causing swings.

I try to keep how foods break down sugar-wise in mind as well and for a while kept a chart in the kitchen to help me plan meals. The chart here is useful and being mindful of it has been helpful for me:
http://www.glycemicedge.com/glycemic-index-chart/

Glad today is better!