I do not like having curves, all I want is to be skinny!

cleopatra07
cleopatra07 Posts: 51
in Health and Weight Loss
I have battled all through my teens being the unhealthy, overweight girl, never got asked out on dates, being used by friends and not feeling good on the inside. I used to cry myself to sleep and then when something happens I enjoyed my comfort food. I used to weigh 65kgs and over the years just last year I got down to 48kgs and now i have gained I am now 52kgs and I hate it so much. I hate having boobs, hate being curvy,hate having a behind. The only persons weight I admired was Audrey Hepburn. She is my inspiration and I am still on my way to getting the fat off. It makes me sick, everytime I look in the mirror i see a slob, i cannot learn to love my body this way, i am not the type who wants to be curvy because men think its nice. No way, I need to diet and exercise like now, today I have burned 1000 calories at gym and still going on, tomorrow hoping to take it slow but not so much. I am afraid of piling on that weight again, my goal weight is actualy 45kgs and ill do it all to get there. I hate wearing clothes and it looks tight on me or it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am a point where i do not want to be fat again.

Replies

  • allshebe
    allshebe Posts: 423 Member
    Unless you are very tiny (in the 5 foot even range or less) I think you have an unhealthy image of your body and are well on the way to an eating disorder, if you're not already there. Please seek some counseling.I doubt anybody here can truly help you.
  • TheNavet
    TheNavet Posts: 162 Member
    Sweet heart, if that's you in your picture, then you are already thin enough!

    You haven't mentioned your height, but 45kg definitely is too low except if you are 155 cm or something around this. And you won't look pretty if you get this low, I can give you my word as I'm barely 48.5kg for 166cm. And, honestly, I deeply hate it.
    You'll come to long for the curves, the strength and the happiness you've lost. So please do me a favour, go and see a counselor. Or at least trade fat for muscles while maintaining a healthy weight. You'll only hurt yourself if you become a feather weight...
  • serendipity57
    serendipity57 Posts: 153 Member
    Unless you are very tiny (in the 5 foot even range or less) I think you have an unhealthy image of your body and are well on the way to an eating disorder, if you're not already there. Please seek some counseling.I doubt anybody here can truly help you.

    THIS!!
  • hararayne
    hararayne Posts: 261 Member
    You are well within a healthy BMI unless you well under 5 feet tall. I strongly urge you to seek psychological care. I recommend somethingfishy dot org to assist you in finding a counselor.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    have you ever had any sort of therapy?
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
    I think you are beautiful now. However, it doesn't matter what I think - you need to love yourself and that's what most important.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Please seek the help of a guidance counselor. I'm not a doctor, but I think you have body dysmorphia - there are therapies out there that can help with this.

    Best of luck!
  • Catlady87
    Catlady87 Posts: 302 Member
    You weigh 114lbs. Unless you are 4ft 9in or shorter you are not overweight. I would say that you have an unrealistic attitude to your own weight. What you've said doesn't sound healthy.
    Please go and speak to someone, even if its anonymously.
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
    I agree with the previous poster- it's good to want to lose weight but it's bad to hate your current body and to set a goal that's probably impossible. Take a look at the half-naked women in Renaissance paintings. That's what beauty looked like back then: meaty thighs, dimpled elbows and all. There are no Audrey Hepburn body types in those paintings.

    OK, I know that's not the ideal now and I wouldn't want to be that heavy, but the point I'm making is that your motivation to lose weight shouldn't be based on hating your body, and your goal shouldn't be perfection. It should be the best it can be for YOU, with your bone structure and your heritage.

    I'm also concerned about your level of exercise. A 1,000-calorie workout is an awful lot- I didn't even get to that during an almost 2-hour sprint triathlon last month. Exercise is wonderful for a lot of reasons, including weight loss, but it sounds like you're punishing your body.

    Do get some counseling so that you can lose weight in a healthy way and learn to love your body no matter what shape it's in, and set realistic goals.
  • dessertlover27
    dessertlover27 Posts: 385 Member
    I am saying this with the best intentions:

    Get some counselling or therapy. I am not just saying this because your goal weight is pretty low (especially if you're a taller girl) but also because of the way you described and view your body. And like the other posters said, the people here can't really provide you with the help and support you need.
  • astrovivi
    astrovivi Posts: 183 Member
    Sweet heart, if that's you in your picture, then you are already thin enough!

    You haven't mentioned your height, but 45kg definitely is too low except if you are 155 cm or something around this. And you won't look pretty if you get this low, I can give you my word as I'm barely 48.5kg for 166cm. And, honestly, I deeply hate it.
    You'll come to long for the curves, the strength and the happiness you've lost. So please do me a favour, go and see a counselor. Or at least trade fat for muscles while maintaining a healthy weight. You'll only hurt yourself if you become a feather weight...

    this.

    You clearly have some serious body image issues and a distorted view of your appearance. You are already very thin unless you are a midget.
    This is not healthy and MFP is not the right place for you now. Please seek counselling.

    I battled anorexia for many years before beating it completely. Eating disorders and the psychological issues that lead and keep you there have long term consequences.
    You do not wish that for yourself.

    Get some help in the right way, sweetie. If that is you in your picture, you are not fat, you are not ugly. Learn to love you and be strong and confident. Being too thin brings only misery.

    <3
  • QuilterInVA
    QuilterInVA Posts: 672 Member
    You clearly need professional help. It is not normal to want to look boyish. You need to learn to love your body the way it is right this minute.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    Seek professional help. You are already beyond thin and heading into the danger zone.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
    I think you're beautiful - however, it doesn't matter what I think. What's important is that you love yourself the way you deserve to be loved.

    Please seek the help of a professional counselor who specializes in body dysmorphia and eating disorders. BD is a terrible thing and it breaks my heart to see someone suffering from it like you are.

    Best of luck. *hugs*

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