The Final Begin Again Project!!!

balancing_me

It really is absolutely amazing how easy it is to fall into the pattern and lifestyle of being unhealthy. It's seriously like a drug addiction. An addiction to laziness and eating is the free form of heroine in my county, and all over the world to be honest. I have come from a lifestyle of moderate - intense activity and "normal" eating patters. When I was in high school I ate usually 3 times a day. Then college came and forget it, an excuse to drink every single night (and day) of the week in addition to a never ending supply of *kitten* food? That was the undoing of my moderately healthy self. I fell into the pattern, to this day sometimes I find it hard to drive up the hill to my house with out making it past the bushy intersection and thinking "what am I going to eat when I walk in?" It is awful!!! It's an instinct that takes less then 24 hours to change you. I have been consistently losing weight and making good choices to better my body and my mind for the past 2 months, then this past weekend I fell off the wagon if you will, and back into the pattern of I'll eat I want and *kitten* it. One day at the beginning of the weekend that's all it took. Boom, I sat on the couch and ate myself back in to that uncomfortable feeling. I had bad gas and constipation for the rest of the weekend, gross! I woke up this morning excited to get myself back on track. I had my usual egg white omelette and green tea before bumming it with my boyfriend before we both had to go to work. My first fat thought of the day? I hope my boyfriend has to leave before me that way I can make myself some chips and dip before I have to go! What!?!?!?!? I wanted those chips and dip in the worst way, all I can say is thank god he didn't leave until I did otherwise who knows how much I would have eaten. And before the gym to? Honestly it's amazing, last week I wouldn't even eat a breaded chicken cutlet even if I wanted to. When I'm on my game I'm on, but the second I fall off forget about it! I pigged out on crackers, pizza, chips and dip, cheese, anything I could get my hands on and after I felt so disgusting. It's not worth it!!! Now as I sit at the gym at the beginning of my work out I feel a little groggy, probably from sitting down all morning but I'm motivated to make this worth it! I never want to forget the way I felt after treating my body like that. Am I the only one whose had this realization of just how quick things can change? Maybe it's just my body type but even 24 hours of falling off track and my whole body is completely aware.