Things get better. I promise.

DemonElvis

So, I just wanna start off by telling my story. I've been through anorexia. I've been a skeleton-like 158 pounds (I am 6'3"). And I have gained weight through binging. But now I can definitely say I am feeling better.
You see, last year was the worst year I myself have experienced thus far in my almost twenty years of life. Everything was going wonderfully. I had started lifting and was gaining weight pretty rapidly after having been anorexic for two years. I was finally eating enough, and I was in such good shape. I was so excited for my final year of tennis, and I wanted to win state. And it looked like I might place or win, if I played well at state. Halfway through the season, though: I learned my oldest brother, Bill, had died of an overdose of heroine the night before one of my biggest tennis meets of the season. I felt all sorts of regret and heartbreak for his death. I hadn't told him happy birthday, and to this day, it hurts me every single day. It haunts me.
To make things a little shorter. I was hurting but I dedicated the rest of my season to my brother. I got All-State honors. Everything was okay for a day or two when my happiness overcame my sadness.
But not even a month later, my uncle died, follow by my aunt. So back down to depression I went.
I started binging. A lot. I've always been an emotional eater. But this time, I ate 5,000 calories a day for a months. Some days I had 9,000. And I hated myself.
I went away to Hawaii with my family on vacation. And when I came back, my girlfriend of a year and I broke up. Which killed me again.
I tried my best to be happy. I started getting back into great shape, and somehow gained a following of 10,000 on Instagram which came out of nowhere it seemed. But, just a couple of weeks later; my mom's best friend (who was like my second mom to me) died after a year and a half long battle with cancer. And it hurt like hell.
I got back together with my girlfriend, and we are happy today. Much better relationship this time.
Things were going okay, but I kept slipping further and further into depression.
And I started gaining weight from binging again, and I deleted my Instagram and went back to the days of eating 5,000 calories a day. I gained twenty pounds in just over two months. And I gave up on lifting and health when I lost my grandpa the day after Christmas. I stayed in my room playing video games and didn't exercise for two straight months. It was definitely my own personal rock-bottom.
But: I thought to myself that I could beat this. I could beat my depression.
I got back to the weight room. I got my diet back in check, and I finally; after four months of hard work; am back to being healthy. I am finally where I was before the binging. I am finally healthy again. And I am so happy that I worked so hard to beat depression.

I just wanted to share this with anybody that's struggling. I had the terrible thoughts that come with depression. I had the nights of crying. And I just want to let anybody out there know: that it gets better. There's always a way to overcome whatever it may be you are struggling with. Whether it's depression, or anorexia, or binging, or anything. You can beat this.
Have a wonderful day, everybody.

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DemonElvis

Thanks! I hope so, too! I just wanna show people that things get better. I thought that they never would, but I worked and spent time with my friends and family and loved ones and slowly but surely, i started feeling better and better!

enterdanger

I think you are very strong to over come all that. I had a similar year in my early 20s and got some Paxil for a couple months until I stopped obsessing over all the bad things. It was a turning point for me. I never really believed in ocd or depression before that. It made me realize there is never any shame in getting help when you need it. In whatever form it takes. Luckily once I got right I never have needed it again, but it is brave and worthwhile to share stories like yours. Good luck.

DemonElvis

I'm glad you got better and I'm proud of you!

And thank you very much. I really appreciate that a lot!

provon

So sorry for the so many losses you have suffered in such a short time. That would derail anyone.. Great job getting back on track.