help me write a weightloss book so i can become filthy rich!

catrinaHwechanged

There should definitely be a section about chewing your food longer therefore canceling out the calories you consume by all of the extra jaw movement from chewing.

BrainyBurro

There should definitely be a section about chewing your food longer therefore canceling out the calories you consume by all of the extra jaw movement from chewing.

i think that's been done. some sort of silly diet a couple of years ago that focused on the number of times you chewed eat bite of food. that idea has already bought somebody a beach house. :frown:

good idea though.

catrinaHwechanged

There should definitely be a section about chewing your food longer therefore canceling out the calories you consume by all of the extra jaw movement from chewing.

i think that's been done. some sort of silly diet a couple of years ago that focusing on the number of times you chewed eat bit of food. that idea has already bought somebody a beach house. :frown:

good idea though.

Fvck!! Can you send me a link? I need this book!

BrainyBurro

I would buy it

ok, you convinced me... i will setup a pre-order website so people can pay me for the book before it gets published.

win-win.

by that i mean, i win and i win. :happy:

BrainyBurro

There should definitely be a section about chewing your food longer therefore canceling out the calories you consume by all of the extra jaw movement from chewing.

i think that's been done. some sort of silly diet a couple of years ago that focusing on the number of times you chewed each bite of food. that idea has already bought somebody a beach house. :frown:

good idea though.

Fvck!! Can you send me a link? I need this book!

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/40-chews-bite-may-be-key-weight-loss-1C6437172

tjl2329

Once on here I was reading a post about things you should never eat. A person trying to lose weight. So you should definately find one who's trying to gain weight. Use this top only when dieting.

DanIsACyclingFool

What about an infomercial?

You missed your chance to get Billy Mays, but maybe Vince Shlomi (the Shamwow Guy) is between jobs.

You'll need a better catchphrase than "you're gonna love my nuts", though.

NonnyMary

Just market a pill that tastes like an M&M and tell them they dont have to do a thing - they can eat pizza, pie, fried chicken, and not have to lift a finger - the pill will do it all for them.

catrinaHwechanged

Just market a pill that tastes like an M&M and tell them they dont have to do a thing - they can eat pizza, pie, fried chicken, and not have to lift a finger - the pill will do it all for them.

Better yet, just scratch the Ms off and tell them it's a pill. Save some money that way

DanIsACyclingFool

Wait, hasn't that been done already? (Chitosan)

On the other hand, if you use the Peanut M&Ms, you could use Vince's signature line after all.

And you don't have to scratch off the M's, either. Just sell them upside down! (W&W's)

catrinaHwechanged

Wait, hasn't that been done already? (Chitosan)

On the other hand, if you use the Peanut M&Ms, you could use Vince's signature line after all.

And you don't have to scratch off the M's, either. Just sell them upside down! (W&W's)

Well, snap!! What was I thinking?!? Such a time saver!

DanIsACyclingFool

Wait, hasn't that been done already? (Chitosan)

On the other hand, if you use the Peanut M&Ms, you could use Vince's signature line after all.

And you don't have to scratch off the M's, either. Just sell them upside down! (W&W's)

Well, snap!! What was I thinking?!? Such a time saver!

Well, you know....some people see things the way they are, some see things the way they ought to be.

marieskee

i think i'll need to focus on things nobody else has focused on... so i need your help and suggestions.

1) fruit or vegetable that has never previously been used as the central "super food" of any other diet.
2) some unusual or bizarre physical movement/effort which can be hailed as miraculously putting a person into their "prime fat burning zone". (note - no suggestions of prancing + walking, since that has recently been taken by another weight loss expert. :grumble: )
3) i will need some food or food group to blame fo society's obesity issue. again, this must be something nobody else has previously blamed, so gluten, carbs, dietary fat, foods that cavemen don't eat, etc. are all off the table.
4) finally, i need a catchy name for my plan. something that sounds vaguely "science-y".

i'd really like to get this book written and sent off to a publisher this week, since i'm not getting any younger and i really, really want a malibu beach house.

here's what i'm working with so far, but i can change any of these if i get a better suggestion:

1) pumpkin
2) one-handed somersaults (this is good because it implies a tie-in with crossfit!)
3) green foods (perhaps because of the chlorophyll, but i can use any other vaguely confusing reason that most people won't understand)
4) ???

here's what's in it for you. 5% off on my book and you'll get to namedrop my name at cocktail parties and claim to have known me before i got famous.

also, does anyone here know Dr. Oz personally? because he will be a critical part of my marketing strategy and i'll need to contact either he or his TV show producers very soon.


















note to the moderators - this thread is totally NOT sarcasm. absolutely not even slightly sarcastic. it's totally legit. true story.

1) eggplant
2) skipping
3)blame the stove and cookware for obesity and suggest that people only eat food that can be grilled or eaten raw.
metal toxicity_Weight gain:In order to dilute toxins(heavy metals) the body retains water and fats in the adipose tissue.

catrinaHwechanged

Wait, hasn't that been done already? (Chitosan)

On the other hand, if you use the Peanut M&Ms, you could use Vince's signature line after all.

And you don't have to scratch off the M's, either. Just sell them upside down! (W&W's)

Well, snap!! What was I thinking?!? Such a time saver!

Well, you know....some people see things the way they are, some see things the way they ought to be.

Teach me your ways master!!

twikoff

ok, you convinced me... i will setup a pre-order website so people can pay me for the book before it gets published.

win-win.

by that i mean, i win and i win. :happy:

that site already exists... google kickstarter

ninerbuff

i think i'll need to focus on things nobody else has focused on... so i need your help and suggestions.

1) fruit or vegetable that has never previously been used as the central "super food" of any other diet.
2) some unusual or bizarre physical movement/effort which can be hailed as miraculously putting a person into their "prime fat burning zone". (note - no suggestions of prancing + walking, since that has recently been taken by another weight loss expert. :grumble: )
3) i will need some food or food group to blame fo society's obesity issue. again, this must be something nobody else has previously blamed, so gluten, carbs, dietary fat, foods that cavemen don't eat, etc. are all off the table.
4) finally, i need a catchy name for my plan. something that sounds vaguely "science-y".

i'd really like to get this book written and sent off to a publisher this week, since i'm not getting any younger and i really, really want a malibu beach house.

here's what i'm working with so far, but i can change any of these if i get a better suggestion:

1) pumpkin
2) one-handed somersaults (this is good because it implies a tie-in with crossfit!)
3) green foods (perhaps because of the chlorophyll, but i can use any other vaguely confusing reason that most people won't understand)
4) ???

here's what's in it for you. 5% off on my book and you'll get to namedrop my name at cocktail parties and claim to have known me before i got famous.

also, does anyone here know Dr. Oz personally? because he will be a critical part of my marketing strategy and i'll need to contact either he or his TV show producers very soon.

















note to the moderators - this thread is totally NOT sarcasm. absolutely not even slightly sarcastic. it's totally legit. true story.

You'd make more money writing a book on how the Broncos got lambasted by the 9ers in '89 Superbowl.

Speed limit 55
Broncos 10

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

bellesouth18

The title could be The Science of Weight Loss for Smart A$$e$, by BrainyBurro. You could promote eating only whole grains, drinking only water, and eating sugar cubes for dessert.

Edit: I forgot about the exercise part. Back packing in the desert would really catch on.

DanIsACyclingFool

Wait, hasn't that been done already? (Chitosan)

On the other hand, if you use the Peanut M&Ms, you could use Vince's signature line after all.

And you don't have to scratch off the M's, either. Just sell them upside down! (W&W's)

Well, snap!! What was I thinking?!? Such a time saver!

Well, you know....some people see things the way they are, some see things the way they ought to be.

Teach me your ways master!!

When you're ready, my child.

When you're ready.

DanIsACyclingFool

The title could be The Science of Weight Loss for Smart A$$e$, by BrainyBurro. You could promote eating only whole grains, drinking only water, and eating sugar cubes for dessert.

Edit: I forgot about the exercise part. Back packing in the desert would really catch on.

Get it?

bellesouth18

nevermind!