GIVING UP?

Jeffrey300050
Jeffrey300050 Posts: 93 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
GIVING UP? OK! Hi wonderful folks! I think I'm done. Done everything stellar all week and gained again. Lost a measly 9 pounds since Jan 1. This is my last shot. I will give trying this one more month. If I haven't broken 200 by June 1st, I will concede and just join the rest of the overweight, old population and live out the rest of my existence as happily as I can. I may have little time to be happy. I have been depressed all my life, battled 4th stage cancer and have recently battled chronic pain and have had to learn how to walk again after four back surgeries and 6 months in the hospital. And now I'm trying to regain my youth by eating carrot sticks and gaining weight and walking till my back aches and being hungry all the time, and not drinking beer, and not enjoying food and GAINING weight anyways. What's more depressing? Being an old fat guy who is disconnected socially but gets to eat what he wants (including lots of healthy meals), or being a less fat guy, still over weight who is becoming more invisible everyday as he ages and eats lettuce and weighs himself 4 times a day only to find he's gaining everyday anyway? I LOST weight drinking beer and eating once a day, pizza and wings compared to this!! I honestly feel like unplugging from all social media, MFP, Facebook, Dating SItes and just moving to a log cabin with my dog and living out the rest of my days finding happiness in a burger and my dog's eyes and not in a mirror! I just may have to realize that its normal to be fat and old and that's OK. HOWEVER I love all you guys and wish you the best!! Keep it up! I hope you ALL find happiness and success, no matter what form it comes in! I really do!

Replies

  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    edited April 2016
    If eating once a day works for you, then do that.
    http://www.fitmole.org/eating-one-meal-a-day-diet/
    Stop walking if it is irritating your back. Maybe find a physical therapist or do swimming.
  • AliceAxe
    AliceAxe Posts: 172 Member
    edited April 2016
    so sorry to hear of all your troubles :(

    Im very down and discouraged too because my medical problems are hindering me. it sucks being in chronic pain and other stuff. my heart goes out to you. I think if I were you I would modify things a bit. that if at first you dont suceed thing. take it from someone who has to try over and over to get anywhere. most great accomplisments I think are hard won this way.

    perhaps walking is not the right activity for you right now? I would definately see a good physical therapist, at least for a consultation. Ive been going to one and she has done wonders for me , taught me so much I didnt know, and pinpointed all sorts of things I was doing wrong. Its not fixing my problems but Im getting some relief and doing it without meds. but like anything it takes a long time for the body to adjust to new changes.

    I went to a nutritionist too but she was terrible, did nothing to help and just told me to be on a 1200 diet. so Im going to try to find someone who understnad my medical condition. Im also going to look into therapy for dealing with the chronic stress for them. mabee that would help with your depression ?
    I would steer clear of the alcohol though, it might give temporary pain relief and bliss , but is a downward spiral. it is a depressant and if you already have depression thats adding fuel to the fire!

    if you were so happy being fat you wouldnt be here. the old we cant do anything about ;)

    Ive been wanting to just give up too. gotta hang tough!

    (ps Im still eating pizza and wings, just not as much not as often, cant give up everything!)
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I think you have so much going on with your health, both mentally and physically, that you really could benefit from someone to talk to. Not trying to be rude, but you seem so angry and frustrated and that is not good for your health.

    Besides that, calories in - calories out works for everybody, including you. Just make sure you are measuring the ins and outs properly, while being patient - which is a lot easier when you cut out the fluff and stick to the basics - and you'll see that it works.
  • Roseygirl1
    Roseygirl1 Posts: 196 Member
    I'm so sorry you feel so discouraged. It sounds like you are unhappy with a lot of your life---maybe loneliness, the stress of ill health, all that. So perhaps getting a life coach or talking to a really good therapist might help you sort out what's what. Losing weight doesn't fix the other parts of our lives that need attention, but just as surely tending lovingly and kindly to our bodies is a good thing and makes other things possible.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    How old are you OP?
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,244 Member
    I'm sorry you're feeling so upset. 9 pounds for 3 and a bit months is actually not so bad for a ~200lbs male. My husband is losing at a similar rate and is around your weight. He's nowhere near discouraged. He wants to get to around 175lbs this time next year. So why give up? By the way he eats the same things as before but just not 3d and 4th helpings like before and keeps in the deficit MFP has given him. So no celery sticks or any gross stuff like this at all (I do not mean to offend fans of celery sticks). He had spaghetti bolognese yesterday for dinner and home made burgers the day before. He eats ice cream with fruit for desert too. So this is not anywhere near torture in my eyes. So again - why give up?
    Change your diet to stuff you WANT to eat and eat normal portions of it. This is all you need to do. I promise!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I do think you need to see a counselor. Your medical issues are surely leading to this fatalistic thinking. 9 lbs this year is a good loss. 1-2 lbs is often quoted as a healthy rate of loss but it doesn't mean it's an optimal rate for everybody. Take a break for awhile and then if it takes a slower rate in order for you to live a comfortable lifestyle, why not do that? Figure out your TDEE and eat 200-250 below that. And don't walk until you hurt. That makes no sense, especially with back problems.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Since you mention being hungry all the time and having lost 9 pounds this year I suspect you are undereating and then binging, creating a smaller calorie deficit than being hungry all the time would indicate. I've lost 10 pounds since January 1 and am only hungry right before meals. I also spend the majority of my calories on foods that satiate me: http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html

    I'm only trying to lose 0.5 pounds per week and have set my calorie goals accordingly. How much weight do you want to lose total?

    The weight loss rate recommendation to minimize muscle loss is no more than 1% of your body weight loss per week:
    • 0.5 lb per week if you have less than 25 lbs to lose
    • 1 lb per week if you have 25-50 lbs to lose
    • 1.5 lb per week if you have 50-75 lbs to lose
    • 2 lb per week if you have 75+ lbs to lose
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    Not quite the ragequit I was hoping it would be.
  • fwitsend1277
    fwitsend1277 Posts: 288 Member
    I've looked at your diary and maybe you need to think about how you are using your calories. One or two meals a day which total 1800 is bound to leave you hungry the rest of the time.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Jeffrey300050 wrote: »
    ...I have been depressed all my life, battled 4th stage cancer and have recently battled chronic pain and have had to learn how to walk again after four back surgeries and 6 months in the hospital. And now I'm trying to regain my youth by eating carrot sticks and gaining weight and walking till my back aches...

    I suggest some gentle yoga classes, preferably at a yoga studio, with a teacher who will help you reconnect with your body and be gentle with it. I also have a tendency to overdue and push too hard, and have to constantly work at being mindful of my body.

    Are you familiar with Jon Kabat-Zinn's work on stress and pain relief? If you still have a cassette player, my mom has Guided Sitting Meditation and Guided Yoga. (Mindfulness Meditation Practice Tapes, Tape 2) Audio Cassette (Center for Mindfulness, UMass Medical School) and it's exactly the sort of yoga I'm recommending.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    You need patience and a sustainable diet and exercise plan. You need to eat foods you like and not exercise until you hurt.
    If you like pizsa and beer and were losing while eating them why did you cut them out? Weight loss is about calories.
    Losing 9 lbs since January is about .5 lb a week. That is progress. If you lost at that rate consistantly then you could be down 26 lbs by next January. That would be a difference. Every pound down is progress.
    If that isn't the rate you were supposed to lose at then I would check your logging accuracy. Get a digital food scale and weigh your food. Measure your liquids. Be sure you log everything you consume include cooking oils, condiments, drinks. Check the database entries you use are correct.
  • durango83
    durango83 Posts: 9 Member
    GO GET U A WOMAN!!!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    durango83 wrote: »
    GO GET U A WOMAN!!!

    Worst advice ever.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Dude, you're 51, barely over 200, have a dog and a convertible. WTF can't you be happy about? Hell, at your age you can join Curves and get away with leering at the fat chicks for fun.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    And spend more time with the dog.
  • KnitSewSpin
    KnitSewSpin Posts: 147 Member
    WakkoW wrote: »
    Slow weight loss is fantastic.

    I love this. My new mantra!

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  • Marilyn0924
    Marilyn0924 Posts: 797 Member
    Hi Jeffrey, I took a look at your diary over the last few weeks, and the thing I noticed is that your food selections are all over the place and many of the entries are either generic or completely off base and incorrect.
    To help get back on track, pick up a digital food scale, weigh all solids (in grams, it's more accurate), measure all liquids. Use the MFP database and take the time to look for and use accurate entries. You don't have to give up the things you love, you still can have beer, wings, pizza, cookies, whatever floats your boat, but you need to make it work within your calorie allotment. You can do this :)
  • Raptor2763
    Raptor2763 Posts: 387 Member
    Quit and you're sure to toss all that hard work out the window and join the wide bodies. This is where mental toughness, determination and persistence comes in.
  • PAF01
    PAF01 Posts: 2 Member
    Hello Jeffrey, I can relate to everything you are saying, "but" never give up. I have health issues that cause a lot of pain throughout my body. I have a very difficult time exercising regularly because I can wipe myself out doing housework. I am certainly not going to do high impact, high intensity exercises anytime soon. And, I have been a vegetarian for many years and you would think a vegetarian would not have weight issues, but I do.

    I have been on every diet program known to man, and I have had very little success with weight loss. My weight just stays the same, or it goes up and down like a yo yo. It has been very frustrating! I started this program as a teaching tool to learn about myself and to finally lose the weight. Never give up!

    I am learning quite a bit about my diet since I came on this program. I started to realize that I have been eating far too many carbohydrate and sugar foods, and that I wasn't focusing on eating the right healthy food. I don't think we have to live on carrots to lose weight; we just need to stay "focused" and committed to our quest and our plight. I am increasing protein rich food into my diet, and I know that any movement is better than none.

    "Little steps" can make a difference. Don't be hard on yourself; try to remain positive and if all that walking is causing pain, try Pilates, yoga, and possibly get some advice from a PT, doctor, or Fitness Trainer on low impact exercise in which you move to your tolerance level a couple of times per day instead of one time per day. Never give up because all this can change for you. Don't be hard on yourself, life is too short to be hard on yourself.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I took a look at your diary. I'd recommend learning to cook. You eat alot of the same things over and over. Some people like it that way, but you're complaining about how you don't like what you're eating. Change it up a bit, weigh everything on a digital scale--be accurate, measure all liquids. Try some new exercises. There are things that will be easier on your back. Swimming is good. I also second mild yoga, since it can help back pain. It's hard when you're frustrated, but you can do it. As someone above said--never give up. Keep trying new things until you find what works.

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