I need encourgament, desperately.
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NiksGettingHealthy
Posts: 5 Member
Time and time again I have failed to loose weight. I'll do good 2 days, fall off 5. I'll binge & mess up the day and eat way too late the next. I'll eat a handful of Oreos and lie to myself and say it wasnt that much yet I had a whole glass of whole fat milk on the side. I'll be craving something and give it and constantly tell myself "you only live once, eat it." & feel so bad afterwards. I'll see gorgeous clothes in Walmart and be jealous of the beautiful bikinis on sale, and have a battle with my inner self as to why I can't fit into them. "You're big boned, those girls have always been little, they must so drugs." It is a CONSTANT battle for me. I'm constantly worrying about my health and what I'm eating the next day, how I'm never going to have children as heavy as I am, & how I am ever Going to live a long normal life, if I suffer so bad from depression and anxiety because of how self cncious I am. I've always been a heavy girl... Even as a toddler, I was chunky. It got even worse when I got with my BF of 5 1/2 years, and we both got comfortable. Eating out twice a Day, everyday. I have been fine with it up until about 3 years ago. Since then it's been a constant battle for me, with my weight and my self. Right now I'm as hopeless as they come so this here is my last resort. I am praying and hoping it is. I've thought about surgery but I know I can do this, I know.. In my heart of hearts, I know I can do finally do this doe myself. All I'm asking if anyone is reading this, please send any suggestions, tips, tricks, encouraging words, anything will help me. I've already quit pop, not a problem! My weaknesses are eating late and sweets!! 
and I like walking, I've been doing that too. Tips on how long? Should I do any crutches, push-ups etc? I'm going to be open and discolse my height and weight. Keep in mind, my BF doesn't even know how much I weigh.. yes I'm that embarrassed & in desperate need of help. hope to hear from someone soon! Height : 5'8 - 5'9 weight 372.4
and I like walking, I've been doing that too. Tips on how long? Should I do any crutches, push-ups etc? I'm going to be open and discolse my height and weight. Keep in mind, my BF doesn't even know how much I weigh.. yes I'm that embarrassed & in desperate need of help. hope to hear from someone soon! Height : 5'8 - 5'9 weight 372.4 0
Replies
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Hi, sorry to hear of your struggles, look into keto diet or ketosis, being in ketosis takes away hunger cravings and sweet cravings, it may work for you.
Good luck1 -
Hi, that sounds like a tough situation. From my experience, most binge eating happens because of stress. Working on ways to reduce stress help me keep on track. I am very high tension and tonnes of things bother me, so I started a diary where I write down everything that causes me stress. It's basically point form and i just jot things down like "customer came before I had opened the store and yelled at me", "spilled a pot of coffee", "didn't sleep well", "forgot my keys", "phone was on silent and missed an important call". It forces me to examine my day and has a calming effect. I've noticed that the more I calm down and feel like I have things under control, the easier it is to stick to my calorie limit.2
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Welcome to MFP! A lot of what you wrote reminded my of myself. Alway been big, just thought that was the way it was supposed to be. When I reached the point where my health was the real issue, I spoke with my doctor and had a real conversation about MY weight, we came up with a goal of 170 down from 244. At the time I was 43 and 5'2". The first thing I did was actually join a gym, just one day it happened. Then I started tracking what I was eating and one day a coworker suggested MFP, that was a great moment for me. I would suggest that you start by tracking what you are eating, and I mean everything that goes in your mouth. As you start logging foods you can get an idea where you can start cutting calories, less butter (not none, but less), eliminating cheese on your sandwich, or mayo, there are things we can honestly cut and not miss. As you learn more about how evil and sneaky calories are, you can deceide how you want and need to manage your calories. Be smart, eat the Oreos and have some milk with them (I honestly would never drink anything but whole milk), listen to your body as you educate yourself and manage your eating your body will tell you how much it appreciates your efforts to eat balanced and within reason
Get a food scale and weight your food and learn about portions, I took pictures of portion sizes so I would learn what a portion looks like, training my eye to really see what I should be eating not what I want to eat.
If you want to add exercise, do so slowly, think more of it as being active because this too will be a life long activity. I started walking about 15 minutes (1 mile) now my Fitbit daily goal is 6 miles a day. My thoughts on exercise is any exercise you will do is good for you. I did cardio until I was about 160 then I started really doing more strength training - I may have been overly cautious but I watched too many friends get hurt trying to do too much too soon
You can do this, just take your time. I would always think of a date in the future and remind myself that on that date I can either be the same weight, weigh less or weigh more - only I could control this.
One trick for late snacking might be to plan it, count those calories and make it a production - served on a plate, prepare it like you would a meal - no eating out of the package and I learned the hard way that all snack food should be put away in the cabinets not on the table or anywhere on the counter - out of site somewhat out of mind!
Don't give up, you have a great number of folks here on MFP that understand and are here to help.9 -
Hi Nikkie! I'm sure you'll get some very good advice here from some knowledgeable people. I just want to share my tiny bit of advice which helped me when I reached my maximum weight. Please imagine this is written in large, friendly letters: don't panic.
I can still remember that panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach just thinking about how far I had to go, how impossible it seemed, and how lost I felt because I didn't know how to lose weight. I actually had a lot of wrong ideas about how to go about it, but the first thing that I needed to do was control that panic and believe that I could take control.
A few of the wrong ideas I had that you might recognize:
Weight loss mostly happens through lots of exercise. Actually, staying within your recommended calorie limit will help WAY more. (You did put your stats into MPF and were given a daily calorie goal, right? Mind sharing?)
Another wrong idea: eating after a certain hour or eating certain foods makes you gain. False! You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want as long as you're staying under your calorie goal. That said, you'll feel better choosing foods that are good for you and keep you feeling full.
Finally, please don't feel like this is your last chance. It's ok to mess up and start again the next day! The only problem would be to give up for good.
Hope this helps for starters. Best of success to you!8 -
Hello,
The one thing that I can suggest to you is to take care of your own mental health. You mention that you're feeling anxious and depressed and have little self confidence. Maybe it would help you to speak with a professional about these feeling. I've personally had issues with depression and found that I was eating badly as a form of "self-medication". Getting help with it also helped me drop some bad eating habits.
Also you might talk to your BF. If you're not comfortable talking about your weight, don't. But it might help to explain that you'd like to develop better eating habits and need some help and support to do so. That way you two can eat better together and you might not feel so alone. For example, maybe instead of eating out everyday, you could eat out once a week and spend time together planning your meals.
Good luck and take care of yourself.4 -
You mentioned walking, thats great! As far as how long, it really depends on what you can do. Take the amount of time you can do and each week try to add 10 minutes, slowly building over time. One thing I do that I have found very motivating is wearing a fitness tracker. The one I have is UP by Jawbone, but there are many different versions out there. You can set goals and seeing how much you've done really motivates you to do more. Bottom line, your're going to have set backs, but you are heading in the right direction. Be kind to yourself and good luck 4
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You know, one thing I do a LOT of (especially at work) is drinking water. I feel hungry? Rather than meander to the vending machines at work, I go to the water fountain, fill my bottle, sit my butt back down in front of my computer and drink away. I am even doing it at home! Every day I make it a goal to drink at least 3 bottles of water - with the size of my bottle, that's 9 glasses of water. It sure kills the appetite most of the time!
Walking is absolutely fantastic as well! Today I went for a run and was unkindly reminded by my hip why I can't do it anymore - unfortunately due to my joint issues, walking is about all I can do (back takes out pushups and situps for the most part, too). But you know, I make the most of it! When I walk, I ensure that I'm walking as swiftly as I can these days - usually 4 mph, which is a great workout. Build up slowly - even walking can wear you down! A great suggestion was made by anneb83 - a fitness tracker is fantastic. I have a Striiv, and use that to log my exercise calories from walking every day.
And most importantly, don't give up!!!1 -
Welcome! I am glad you are willing to ask for help
that's a very hard thing to do, but you did it! I believe you have to listen to your body and figure out what works well for you and makes you feel well. That is as unique as the way God made you and it may take a while to learn but this is for sure... there is a way to success. I have also battled against anxiety and depression and when I eat more carbs, especially empty calories, it puts stress on my body and there is not only mental but physical pain. I have had success with eating lower carb. When I start down the path of eating high carb foods, it is a spiral - I feel out of control, constantly hungry and a physical inability to stop eating. I am diabetic, so it is a physical response to the last meal I consumed. And I prayed about it. For me, one of those answers was to add a quality SAM-e pill to rejuvenate my liver, which was under attack from all those carbs. By improving this, my mood and pain level has improved dramatically. I certainly have to remind myself to make better choices on a daily basis. Some days, I succeed; others, not. But... am I healthier this year than last? Yes. Will I be better next year? Yes. Finding victory in the small thing is important. Exercise should be something you like to do, not 'have to.' So find some good anonymous, online friends, be honest with yourself, and experiment to see what works for you. Best of luck in finding your path to healing. 1 -
WiseBlueRaven wrote: »Hi Nikkie! I'm sure you'll get some very good advice here from some knowledgeable people. I just want to share my tiny bit of advice which helped me when I reached my maximum weight. Please imagine this is written in large, friendly letters: don't panic.
I can still remember that panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach just thinking about how far I had to go, how impossible it seemed, and how lost I felt because I didn't know how to lose weight. I actually had a lot of wrong ideas about how to go about it, but the first thing that I needed to do was control that panic and believe that I could take control.
A few of the wrong ideas I had that you might recognize:
Weight loss mostly happens through lots of exercise. Actually, staying within your recommended calorie limit will help WAY more. (You did put your stats into MPF and were given a daily calorie goal, right? Mind sharing?)
Another wrong idea: eating after a certain hour or eating certain foods makes you gain. False! You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want as long as you're staying under your calorie goal. That said, you'll feel better choosing foods that are good for you and keep you feeling full.
Finally, please don't feel like this is your last chance. It's ok to mess up and start again the next day! The only problem would be to give up for good.
Hope this helps for starters. Best of success to you!
Excellent advice 0 -
Hi Nikki
As you can see lots of people on here are willing to share tips tricks helpfull advice .All of the above is great , so maybe get a pen & pad & write some down , no need to try everything at once , set small goals like today , i'll walk that extra 10 minutes . The talking to your boyfriend advice is really good cause maybe he's feeling the same way and would love to save some of that money you's are spending on takeout or just be a bit healthier himself . Again you dont have to talk about your weight , do it as a way to save money or a way to learn something new together like cooking a healthy meal etc.
I'm like you also have a love of chocolate & sweets so i' looked for ways to get them that is healthy so now i have a chocolate shake for breakfast each morning - that gives me my daily dose of chocolate but then I add spinach & cucumber & recently i started adding organic Oates .. I cant taste anything but the choclate and now it's even healthier ... we all have to start somewhere ..
For the sweets at night i have yogurt and puree or whole raspberries .. so good & still healthy & i stay withing my MFP daily allowance ..
Start taking lunch to work with you - salad boiled eggs tin tuna fruit nuts soup , depending on where you work , if you have a fridge there use it or do as i do take a small eskibag .. start with a few days a week baby steps
If nothing else start weighing your food and logging it so you can see what you are eating and make small adjustments from there.
Goals - set small manageable ones - if looking at the big picture is daunting break it down way down like
Week 1 - walk 10 minutes extra 3 days
week 1 take lunch to work 3 times
week 1 cook dinner 2 times
You dont have to change you whole world on day 1 but as yoiu start to make small changes it will encourage you to make more and the fear of failure goes away if the steps are bite size instead of huge ...
I use my phone for counting my steps during my working day and it is synced to MFP which is awesome as i dont have a fittness watch and dont really like wearing watches so your phone can do some of the jobs for you
Make friends on MFP for encouragement and advice & when your up to it join a challenge a great way to make more friends , a lot of whom have been where you are now or in someway can relate to your story
Good luck & take it easy on yourself
cheers sharon
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If you are looking for tips, tricks, encouragement or motivation from someone else, YOU are just not ready for a lifestyle change. You still have plenty of excuses holding you back. We'll still be here when you are ready.
Someone else cannot make YOU want to do something YOU do not want to do. People on this board can give suggestions and tell you what they did that worked for them. It is amazing the stuff people work through so I believe there is no barrier to something if you really want it.
I wanted a lifestyle (food and exercise) that was sustainable. Not a white knuckle, hold your nose and eat celery and hummus for the rest of my life kind of "diet". I knew I had to stop going to the drive thru and ordering a double quarter pounder with cheese and super-size fries twice a day. I had to stop eating a whole bag of Lays potato chips at one sitting.
I believe in portion control and baby steps, not perfection. I take my lunch to work so I have my meals without having to go to the cafeteria or in-house McDonalds. (I also save a huge amount of money) I had to consciously stay in the right hand lane and not take the automatic left turn into the drive thru on the way home from work. I gave myself permission to have a snack when I got home and not starve or punish myself. I've eaten a whole bag of Lays potato chips but it was the lunch size bag.
And I've lost 32 lbs since the first of the year. Slow, sustainable. I can do this because it's doable. When you're ready, it will be doable for you as well.5 -
Hi Nikkie! Here is my advice, I hope some of it helps you:
- Start by just logging your food for a week or two, not worrying about calories too much. Just get into the habit, find your way around the database, and start to get comfortable with it.
- Then take a look at your log. Where do you waste calories? On the days you did better, what types of foods did you eat? This will help you figure out where you can make small changes to get your calories where they need to be.
- Weight loss is about eating less calories than you burn, end of sentence.
- You don't have to eat any specific foods, or cut out any foods, to lose weight. Some people do well on low carb, vegetarian, keto, paleo. I personally eat a pretty balanced diet, and I fit a treat into my calories every day. I decided I didn't want to give up the foods I love, I just use a food scale to keep the portions correct. The key is finding a way to eat that satisfies you at the correct calorie level.
- Get whatever exercise you like, whenever you can.
- Understand, REALLY understand, that this will be a long journey. One day will not ruin anything. The only thing that will ruin it is if you quit. If you have a bad meal, get right back on track so the day doesn't get out of hand. If you have a bad day, shrug it off and do better tomorrow.
There is nothing wrong with eating late or eating sweets. I save a couple of hundred calories every day for a late snack - cookies or popcorn or ice cream. I have a couple of slices of pizza for dinner once a week, and still hit my calorie goal. And some days, I eat too much, that's life. I'm not perfect, no one is, and that's OK.
Hang in there, keep learning, be patient, and be kind to yourself!4 -
I love all the advice on here, it is so great to hear how everyone has tackled their health issues. One article I read once helped me to eat healthier, and it was about eating out of love rather than fear. To think that your body is the only one you will ever have, and it deserves the best nourishment you can give it. You have the power to help yourself feel good. If you plan your meals, and concentrate on what you need to eat (eg. five serves of vegetables and two serves of fruit, some healthy proteins, whole grains and dairy) by the time you eat all that you won't have much room for anything else. If you have an oreo, put it in MFP so you can account for the calories, and then eat the oreo slowly and savour the experience. Enjoy that oreo! If you can stop at one or two, feel good about your achievement.
Your mental health is really important. Being able to come on here and openly talk about how you are feeling and what you need is such a big step. You should feel very proud. I believe you can do it! Try not to focus on your weight for now, try to focus on feeling good and giving yourself the love and care you deserve.
Some documentaries help with motivation for healthy eating. I watched a TED talk by Dr. Terry wahls on youtube and it was totally inspirational. I still don't eat completely like her, but it was motivational to get me to eat more healthy food. 'Fed up' was one movie that was interesting, and there are heaps out there. It might work for you too.
You are already walking and have given up soda, so you are on the right track. If you have a bad day, that is fine, every time you try it will be easier. Best of luck x
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nikkiehoskins wrote: »Time and time again I have failed to loose weight. I'll do good 2 days, fall off 5. I'll binge & mess up the day and eat way too late the next. I'll eat a handful of Oreos and lie to myself and say it wasnt that much yet I had a whole glass of whole fat milk on the side. I'll be craving something and give it and constantly tell myself "you only live once, eat it." & feel so bad afterwards. I'll see gorgeous clothes in Walmart and be jealous of the beautiful bikinis on sale, and have a battle with my inner self as to why I can't fit into them. "You're big boned, those girls have always been little, they must so drugs." It is a CONSTANT battle for me. I'm constantly worrying about my health and what I'm eating the next day, how I'm never going to have children as heavy as I am, & how I am ever Going to live a long normal life, if I suffer so bad from depression and anxiety because of how self cncious I am. I've always been a heavy girl... Even as a toddler, I was chunky. It got even worse when I got with my BF of 5 1/2 years, and we both got comfortable. Eating out twice a Day, everyday. I have been fine with it up until about 3 years ago. Since then it's been a constant battle for me, with my weight and my self. Right now I'm as hopeless as they come so this here is my last resort. I am praying and hoping it is. I've thought about surgery but I know I can do this, I know.. In my heart of hearts, I know I can do finally do this doe myself. All I'm asking if anyone is reading this, please send any suggestions, tips, tricks, encouraging words, anything will help me. I've already quit pop, not a problem! My weaknesses are eating late and sweets!! and I like walking, I've been doing that too. Tips on how long? Should I do any crutches, push-ups etc? I'm going to be open and discolse my height and weight. Keep in mind, my BF doesn't even know how much I weigh.. yes I'm that embarrassed & in desperate need of help. hope to hear from someone soon! Height : 5'8 - 5'9 weight 372.4
I have never been anything but overweight. From two and up, I have been obese. I'm only 5 feet tall and got up to almost 260 pounds. I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic and was told I will already have a difficult time conceiving, my weight won't help. But you know what? I still couldn't do it. Because it was stressful and scary. And one day, I decided to book a cruise. And since then, I've been so committed to a lifestyle change because one stupid thing: I want to wear a bikini! I'm so motivated over something so superficial BUT IT IS SO HELPFUL! I used to be a bored eater and eat when I got bored. Now I get on Pinterest and look at all the clothes I can't fit into now, but I will next year. I guess what I'm saying is, you won't be totally motivated to this until you're doing it 100% for yourself. And once you're ready, find an exercise you love and do it. Planet Fitness is a good gym option. Only $10 a month and they will help you make a fitness plan to achieve your goals! Please add me:) I have a lot of weight to lose and females need to support one another!
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Hello Nikkie,
My best advice for using MyFitnessPal is to just set up a reasonable goal (I suggest the lose 1.5 lb a week goal, you can change to 2 later if you feel up for the challenge). Then, log every single food you eat, drinks, and water. Stay under your calorie goal, and choose whatever foods you like that have nutrients, enough protein and fiber, and not a crazy amount of sugar. I've lost weight, and I haven't given up any particular food. I've enjoyed eating more while using MFP because I know I'm getting enough nutrients and not too much food.
Also, definitely try to avoid more than one serving a day of juice, sweet tea, sweetened punch/juice drinks, etc. Soda is not healthy, but neither are any non-carbonated beverages that have a lot of sugar. I used to drink a lot of sweet tea, and it was definitely not worth the calories!3 -
And congratulations on putting forth the effort to keep trying! All of us here fail daily and need support to keep going!!! You can do this! Slow and steady always wins the race.3
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Well done on recording your weight that's always the scary bit. With the support of everyone on here and your motivation you can do this. Make small changes to begin and when you crave a sweet think about how far away from your goals it's taking you.3
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I suffer from depression/anxiety also. Every time I would start to even think about trying to lose weight, I would stress out, and then eat to comfort myself. So I came up with a plan to get started. Instead of thinking about taking to eat away, I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted, but with a few rules. Before every meal and snack, I had to drink a glass of water. With every meal I made it a point to eat some kind of fruit or veggie, and I had to eat all of it first. After 2 weeks of that, counting calories and watching what I ate wasn't so scary anymore because I had already completed some baby steps and now had more confidence to do it.2
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You can do it! Lots of great advice here! For me, daily tracking of food and exercise is really helpful. Even if I go over the limit, I write it down. Taking it a day at a time is the way to succeed. If you have a bad moment or a bad day, just keep tracking the next day. Reward yourself for every success--if you have a day where you write down everything you eat, give yourself a pat on the back! Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself, and keep doing what you're doing.1
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