Parents trying to lose weight..the wrong way?

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hiyomi
hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
edited May 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone, this post isn't about me, but rather my parents. My dad is 51 years old, has HBP, and is a diabetic and weighs about 249 lbs. He used to weigh about 269 lbs a few months ago, but was able to lose some weight and control his sugars and even have some of his diabetic meds reduced! He has been frustrated lately because he hasn't been able to lose anymore weight! He eats fairly well, I'd say between 1800-2000 calories a day, and he works outside as a mechanic by himself in the hot Texas sun. He also walks every morning 2 miles and does pushups, sit ups, arm circles and other little exercises. And he sweats tons while doing so. In the afternoons, he takes our dogs for about a mile to mile and half walk as well. He keeps complaining that he has to practically starve himself to lose weight because anything he is doing isn't working. He isn't starving himself that's for sure, but now I noticed he is trying meal replacements shakes or even just eating cereal for dinner only! I feel like this isn't exactly right for him because of the amount manual labor he works and exercises on a daily basis. But I know what he is eating now isn't helping him lose weight either! I feel bad for him because he always says he is hungry, which I understand, he lifts heavy objects, and works outside and sweats the entire day! I don't exactly know what to say to him or know of any advice I can give him, but his new motto is he needs to starve himself to lose weight...(not literally, but you understand hopefully..) I'm more worried about his sugar dropping because of the low amounts he is eating, his medications combined with how much he works sometimes causes his sugar to drop dangerously low. Does anyone have any tips or advice?

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  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I never said he won't listen to me, but I'm kinda at a loss of how to try and help him or give advice to him. He works out a ton, eats fairly moderate and still not losing. Listening isn't an issue, he listens. I just don't have any more advice to give him to listen too.
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I agree with this. Dads can be stuborn creatures. Introduce him to MFP and point him in the right direction regarding CICO and macros, but you have to let him go through the process.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I agree with this. Dads can be stuborn creatures. Introduce him to MFP and point him in the right direction regarding CICO and macros, but you have to let him go through the process.

    I don't really feel like stubborn is what he is....I feel like its more being scared of the unknown or eating less....Which I understand since he is always hungry as it is....But being as I'm lightly active, and he is highly active, I'm not sure how much he should or shouldn't be eating/exercising
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
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    Have you explained that certain foods will leave him feeling fuller than shakes and cereal? Protein and veggies for bulk are obv better choices to feel fuller for longer.
  • evesmom2
    evesmom2 Posts: 231 Member
    edited May 2016
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    My Dr. said to eat low carb to get my blood sugar down. So far it is working. Also have him (maybe you should check it out first) check out Dr. Mosley' s Blood Sugar diet. It is more Mediterranean style eating (which is what I am doing)
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    mkakids wrote: »
    Have you explained that certain foods will leave him feeling fuller than shakes and cereal? Protein and veggies for bulk are obv better choices to feel fuller for longer.

    No I guess I haven't, he sees it as "calories in vs calories out" now that I think about it. I will show him some foods that will keep him fuller longer! Thanks! :D
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    edited May 2016
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    hiyomi wrote: »
    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I agree with this. Dads can be stuborn creatures. Introduce him to MFP and point him in the right direction regarding CICO and macros, but you have to let him go through the process.

    I don't really feel like stubborn is what he is....I feel like its more being scared of the unknown or eating less....Which I understand since he is always hungry as it is....But being as I'm lightly active, and he is highly active, I'm not sure how much he should or shouldn't be eating/exercising

    There really isn't a way of telling what he's burning unless he's tracking his calories and that takes time. Encourage him to do so. Also suggest that lean meats should be the focus of his diet so he ups his protein and staves off the hunger. Add plenty of veggies and just a few starches, and he'll end up with a pretty well rounded diet.

    If he's scared then perhaps run his numbers for him so he sees a path forward?
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Encourage him to use MFP (or other food tracking apps). Even jotting it down in a notebook may be helpful to him. Show him the ins & outs of weighing his food, how to pay attention to macros and how to eat the right things to feel sated.

    Speaking only for myself, when I weigh my food - I'm much more successful at this weight loss thing. It's when I estimate is when I get into trouble.

    I would also encourage him to talk to a nutritionist that can help him get an idea of how much he should be eating vs his physical activity.

  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
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    Maybe you can sit down with him and look at some of the numbers, weight, goal, calories, etc. Explain to him the importance of fueling his body to help it perform at its ultimate while taking in account his health issues and then maybe agree to work with him - you can set some mini goals for the both of you. I get it, you want him at his best!
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
    edited May 2016
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    My mother and I can never see eye to eye on this. She's seen my success but won't follow through with MFP because logging food is "too time consuming". She "barely eats", "never snacks", etc. but can't manage to lose a pound. Meanwhile I've seen her grab handfuls of pretzels and tortilla chips several times per day when I stay over her house. Her new thing is drinking a protein shake twice daily to "boost" her weight loss. I would love to help her, but she doesn't want to be helped so my only option is to mind my business or else I'll be scolded like I'm a child again. Your dad seems far more promising in this realm, though. However I feel like he may remain hard headed about the type of foods he eats.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    I guess I haven't really explained to him in detail many things he can do because I feel like its a little too much information for him to get all at once. Maybe I will try making some print outs for him so he can always have the information at hand and not forget about it. He isn't dumb and not forgetful, but he isn't as up to date and a little more traditional than others his age may be :)
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    hiyomi wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I never said he won't listen to me, but I'm kinda at a loss of how to try and help him or give advice to him. He works out a ton, eats fairly moderate and still not losing. Listening isn't an issue, he listens. I just don't have any more advice to give him to listen too.

    Then he isn't starving.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    hiyomi wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    He's 51. He's a grown adult. He's going to do what he wants. You can guide a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If he's determined his way is the right way, not much you can do to change him.

    I never said he won't listen to me, but I'm kinda at a loss of how to try and help him or give advice to him. He works out a ton, eats fairly moderate and still not losing. Listening isn't an issue, he listens. I just don't have any more advice to give him to listen too.

    Then he isn't starving.

    For the amount he exercises and works, he may be very hungry. He works outside in 100 degree heat from 7AM to 6PM. :/
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
    edited May 2016
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    Help him tweak his diet to revolve around foods that satiate him.

    Understanding satiety: feeling full after a meal

    ...Tips on how to feel fuller

    So how can we best try to enhance these feelings of fullness to help us control how much we eat? Here are some top tips for helping you feel fuller:
    1. Foods high in protein seem to make us feel fuller than foods high in fat or carbohydrate, so including some protein at every meal should help keep you satisfied. Foods high in protein include meats such as chicken, ham or beef, fish, eggs, beans and pulses.
    2. If you are watching your weight, opt for lower fat versions, using leaner cuts of meat, cutting off visible fat and avoiding the skin on poultry as this will help reduce the energy density of the diet, which can help to enhance satiety (see below).
    3. Foods that are high in fibre may also enhance feelings of fullness so try to include plenty of high-fibre foods in the diet such as wholegrain bread and cereals, beans and pulses and fruit and vegetables.
    4. Alcohol seems to stimulate appetite in the short-term and therefore drinking alcohol is likely to encourage us to eat more. Alcoholic beverages can make you forget about your intentions to eat healthily by making you lose your inhibitions. Alcoholic drinks are also calorific, so you should cut down on alcohol consumption if you are trying to control your weight.
    5. The ‘energy density’ of food has a strong influence on feelings of fullness or satiety. Energy density is the amount of energy (or calories) per gram of food. Lower energy density foods provide less energy per gram of food so you can eat more of them without consuming too many calories. Low energy density foods include fruit and vegetables, foods with lots of water added when cooking such as soups and stews, and lower fat foods. Click here for more information on energy density.

    Read more: http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,107 Member
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    hiyomi wrote: »
    My dad is 51 years old, has HBP, and is a diabetic and weighs about 249 lbs.

    He is a diabetic. He needs to visit his doctor and get some diet advice from either the doctor or a dietician the doctor recommends.


    BTW - sweating lots just means he needs to keep hydrated and may need to consider the electrolyte content of the foods he eats.

  • AndrewD315
    AndrewD315 Posts: 57 Member
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    Hey hiyomi, I'm your Dads age with the same issues. If you wanted to show him a dairy that works for me maybe there is an idea or two he can use (its not perfect only what I chose to eat). Its open and doesn't show that lunch is split so that one fruit in lunch actually goes between breakfast and lunch the other goes between lunch and diner.I just put it all in lunch (in the dairy). I'm coming off meds with it and losing bunches. Wish you both good fitness.




  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    hiyomi wrote: »
    My dad is 51 years old, has HBP, and is a diabetic and weighs about 249 lbs.

    He is a diabetic. He needs to visit his doctor and get some diet advice from either the doctor or a dietician the doctor recommends.


    BTW - sweating lots just means he needs to keep hydrated and may need to consider the electrolyte content of the foods he eats.

    He goes to the doctor all the time, they tell him what he can and can't eat because of his diabetes, and certain foods, and he has listened and it has helped him lose weight before, but now he hasn't lost anything in quite a few months now.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    AndrewD315 wrote: »
    Hey hiyomi, I'm your Dads age with the same issues. If you wanted to show him a dairy that works for me maybe there is an idea or two he can use (its not perfect only what I chose to eat). Its open and doesn't show that lunch is split so that one fruit in lunch actually goes between breakfast and lunch the other goes between lunch and diner.I just put it all in lunch (in the dairy). I'm coming off meds with it and losing bunches. Wish you both good fitness.




    Thanks! I will definitely look into it and give him some ideas!

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