Getting nowhere

ahclay

Hi. I've been on MFP for several months now, just haven't participated in the forums. I am getting nowhere.

I'm pretty good about logging my intake. I've been doing that for years so I'm used to it. The hardest thing to overcome was when I overate and didn't want to write it all down. But now I do. That way I have to own it when I've eaten 3500 calories in one day, which is my worst.

MFP says I should be eating 2200 calories a day, but I have changed the goal to 2000. My sister, who is about my same size but down 40 pounds from where I am, is eating 1200 a day. I can't imagine that! 1800 is a trial for me, but I can do it.

I eat very little bread, and not every day. I like soups and salads. My husband keeps a stash of naughty treats, but he keeps them locked up and I don't know the combo. But every time I ask for something he gives it to me.

My knees and feet are killing me and it's wicked hot. So walking is just not doable now. I would swim, but it's a 40 minute round trip to the pool. Plus I have arthritis in my hands and cannot do things like pushups right now. Or lift weights. I do enjoy weight training.

I have gained 60 pounds in the past 7 years. And I was already morbidly obese before that. I'm over 50 and feeling old and discouraged.

HELP!

ahclay

Oh, and I think what I really need is to give up sugar. Is this a good idea?

tinamarie014069

I can hear the frustration in your words. Here is my advice...and i dont mean to sound mean but....stop making excuses. If you want to lose you have to move somehow. You will feel so much better if you get some form of exercise. Even if you just get out and walk around the block a few times a day. Even if its hot...you can always go home and take a cool shower. You will feel so accomplished if you just push yourself to do a little bit at a time. Or just take the trip to the pool. Or get a treadmill and walk inside. If you want to lose you have to move. Maybe your husband or children will join you for a short walk. I know its so hard but just take baby steps and put one foot in front of the other. You can do it!!!!

melaniecheeks

Can you set your dairy to public, so we can make some suggestions based on what you're actually eating?

Snowwy11

I agree with Tinamarie.... you can make excuses anymore. If you want to make a change you just have to do it. My mom is turning 60 tomorrow and started exercising. We all make excuses....believe me I did and so did my mom. My father wasn't supportive at first with my mom's changes until he physical saw the difference in her. She has lost 15lbs and down 2 pant sizes. You can do this!!!!! I would be happy to give you suggestions :-) Feel free to add me as a friend.

sadielankford

I eat very little bread, and not every day. I like soups and salads. My husband keeps a stash of naughty treats, but he keeps them locked up and I don't know the combo. But every time I ask for something he gives it to me.

My knees and feet are killing me and it's wicked hot. So walking is just not doable now. I would swim, but it's a 40 minute round trip to the pool. Plus I have arthritis in my hands and cannot do things like pushups right now. Or lift weights. I do enjoy weight training.

I'm sorry that you're so frustrated. I know it's difficult. My thing is, walking is always doable. Pop in a "walk away the pounds" DVD and you can crank out 5 miles. All at once or over the course of the day. You don't need to be outside to get a workout. You can drive 40 minutes round trip a few times a week.. or even once a week.. and get in a really nice workout. You don't have to do push ups, weights, etc. These sound like excuses to me. "I can't" should not be in your vocabulary.

As for the naughty treats, you don't have to cut them out completely but saying your husband gives you the treats when you ask for them makes you sound like a child. Either put them up or leave them out and eat them, but don't put it off on your husband.

Emilie04444

52 is not even old. My knees hurt sometimes and I still go out. There are a bunch of reasons why we can't do something. Yesterday I woke up later than usual to go for a walk and the sun was blazing. I still went out, just not for as long and I felt good. I know ppl that have excuses for everything but at the end of the day, if you want to lose weight you have to move and change your diet. You can lose weight with dieting alone, but it makes those bad days so much more detrimental to your progress. And you mentioned that your wrists hurt so you can't do pushups... there are about 1000 other exercises that you can do. You have to just get moving and JUST DO IT.

empoweryoufitness

I would really encourage you to get an armband from bodymedia. You can often get them for good prices on ebay especially if you are willing to go slightly used.

You will be able to create a much clearer game plan if you know for sure what you are burning. As an example I am 46, 5'3" and regardless of whether I am 149 and 16% fat or 170 and 30% fat, I burn no more than 1700 calories on a typical non exercise, desk job day. Much less if I am sitting on the couch or sleeping.

And tinamarie0140 is right on the money when she says you have to get out there. If you can't tolerate the heat then get on craigslist and find a good used treadmill and put it in front of the tv. Set yourself mini goals and reward yourself with non food treats such as a pedicure, or even ask your husband for a hand, foot or neck massage.

I would also stay off the scale more than once or twice a week. If you exercise at all you should get some redistribution of weight as muscle vs fat so the scale might read higher when you are actually making progress. Another really good site is trainingpeaks.com which is free and allows you to put in your weight and measurement metrics as well as your exercise.

When I was having the most difficulty I tracked everything I did every day on a paper calendar and years later if I want motivation I can go back and look at those.

The most important thing is to know you can do this. Finding the motivation to exercise is difficult but just remember that you will never feel worse at the end of a workout than if you didn't do it.

If you can find a way to do it in the morning it might also help keep you on track with your eating for the rest of the day as you won't want to screw that up.

I believe in you and you have to believe also.

Dawn

toutmonpossible

Oh, and I think what I really need is to give up sugar. Is this a good idea?

It's a great idea as sugar adds scores, if not hundreds of extra calories and there's evidence that it's bad for you because of the way it's metabolized in the liver. The issue is, could you do it? You seem to be in a bad state and piling on the punishment is not going to help, although you may be attracted to the strong emotion of being angry at yourself.

If you're not having any progress, you have do more than be "pretty good" at tracking, especially as your exercise options are limited. You should be tracking everything and weighing it. I would go down to at least 1800 if you can.

gwynspiration

Hi, I'm in a similar situation in that I joined about a year ago and just haven't participated in the forums until now.
I would say find something you like doing. Maybe an exercise bike? That way it can fit into your house and it is easy on the bones. Don't try to lose 100 lbs in a week, just go at your own pase. You can eat 2200 a day if you exercise enough you can avoid exercising that much if you eat less. You can manipulate it to fit your mood on a day to day basis. Just don't give up! :flowerforyou:
You can do it

snowboardandasuitcase

I can hear the frustration in your words. Here is my advice...and i dont mean to sound mean but....stop making excuses. If you want to lose you have to move somehow. You will feel so much better if you get some form of exercise. Even if you just get out and walk around the block a few times a day. Even if its hot...you can always go home and take a cool shower. You will feel so accomplished if you just push yourself to do a little bit at a time. Or just take the trip to the pool. Or get a treadmill and walk inside. If you want to lose you have to move. Maybe your husband or children will join you for a short walk. I know its so hard but just take baby steps and put one foot in front of the other. You can do it!!!!

This^^.

But if you're experiencing pain with walking, I'll recommend biking (easier on the joints). Also, just because your sister is at 1200 doesn't mean you should lower your calorie goal. It sounds like you're not dropping weight at a lower cal goal anyways. Your body may be responding poorly to the "lack" of cals you're consuming. Eat more and get exercise in. If you want to see changes, you have to make changes.

The age old "it didn't go on overnight, it's not coming off overnight," seems fitting. It took 7 years to put on, so I'd recommend sticking with a slightly higher cal goal (the one MFP gave you should be okay) and get your exercise in. Don't forget, you get to eat back your burned cals, AND reap the benefits of exercise, so get moving!!

If you are looking to stay with a lower cal goal, eating "right" is what needs to happen. You won't make it if you're wasting your cals on junk. Eating filling/healthy foods will sustain you and you'll find it a lot easier to stick to an 1800/2000 cal goal.

Another thing... the pool is 20 mins away... that's doable. I'm sure the restaurants where you put the pounds on, tally up to a lot more than 40 mins return. Just a thought.

empoweryoufitness

Oh, and as for the sugar, cutting down is a great and really important. Sugar is harmful in tons of ways. You should never cut anything you really love completely out because all you do is want it more.

I have a couple tricks. One I *kitten* what it is I really want and how bad the craving is. Do I just need something sweet or does it have to be chocolate? If it has to be chocolate then I get something small like a single bite piece at the convenience store. I found that if I want one thing so badly it is distracting then I will eat everything else in the house trying to overcome that and then I will go out and get the thing I wanted anyway.

I'm also not afraid to throw things away. Once I've satisfied the craving I don't let stuff sit around as a temptation. It might seem wasteful, but in the long run you will spend much more money on health costs or just being miserable. If you don't need the calories then when you eat it is wasted anyway.

takerbrat

I, too, have struggled to keep the weight off but this time my son and I have a wager that is helping to motivate me. He is young and in love and thinking about buying a car and a house and some of those grownup things but he struggles to meet his financial goals. So we have agreed that over the next 23 weeks I am going to try to lose 46 lbs and he is going to try to save 15% of his gross pay. If you want to follow our progress, checkout my blog, A Mom, Her Son and One Life-Changing Wager (the link is: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/takerbrat). Pictures will be posted every two weeks on the Team Don't Mess With the Momma Facebook Page (the link is: https://www.facebook.com/TeamDontMessWithTheMommaPage). P.S. Did I mention that my son is a bodybuilder? He will be setting my macros (which I don't totally understand yet) and exercise routine.

SkagitYogini

I can hear the pain in your words. Self-defeating attitudes only make the situation worse, you know. Easy for me to say, when i'm the queen of negative self-talk! I agree with the others that if you want progress, you have to stop making excuses. I'm in the same boat with lots of aches and pains that seemed to begin the day I turned Fifty (I'm 54 now). There's nothing I'd rather do than hit the couch with a bag of Cheetos and a book, and you KNOW I'd eat the entire bag and then take a long nap. Disgusting.

Have you tried Yoga? You can work as hard or as easy as you like, and instead of weights, you use your own body weight for resistance. There's a good website for free yoga classes: www.yogadownload.com Also, if you use iTunes, there are many podcasts you can use for free. I like the 20 minute yoga classes from yogadownload.com the best. Besides being good physical exercise, Yoga can help you live in the present moment, and actually love (Yes love!) your body again.

If you'd like to be friends, please feel free to add me. I am not a fitness fanatic by any means, and I'm great at finding excuses not to work out. We can share ideas and encouragement. All you need to do is start seeing a little progress and you'll be hungry for more!

salleymo

Please forgive my blunt reply, but you have a LOT of excuses. Do you really want this or not? Sure, we've all had our days that we've made the wrong decisions, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to take responsibility for your own actions. You said that your knees and feet are 'killing' you, I would assume that the weight is the cause of that and can be relieved as you lose weight.

My mom's best friend got some walk DVD and used it on the days that it was too hot or too cold or she just didn't want to go outside and it helped her lose a lot of weight ( in addition to eating healthy), so I suggest maybe get one of those to start you off.

It also sounds like you have my weakness, sugar!! I'll tell you, if you can remove or have a limited amount in your diet, you'll see and feel a huge difference. Oh and don't forget, water! water! water!!

takerbrat

I take my measurements every week as sometimes the scale doesn't reflect what is going on. You may be losing inches but not lbs.

getitamb

I agree with all the excuses not being good. Make a way, not excuses. You have to make your weight a priority.52 isnt old at all. My mom is 62 and we zumba every tuesday and thursday. I hear your struggle. It's really hard to make good choices. That's the hardest part of the journey. But you will be fine. Bc this is a marathon not a race. Stay positive and dont beat yourself up.

Another thing is, be sure you are checking the sodium on those soups bc unless it's homemade or specifically losdium tey could be geting you.

Good luck and we are here for you!!

cmcmommy

I'm 52 and I also have a "Bad" knee. I started out at 310 lbs a yr ago in June. I started out walking around the block adding a block every day or every other day. I joined a gym for a few months during the winter but quit soon as it got nice out . I lost 50 lbs in the last year . I still eat out once in a while I have a small snack but instead of candy or lunch cakes try sugar free jello or pudding . We all have our bad days where we just blow it but you have to just put that day behind you and move on, I have been on a plateau for almost 5 months but I refuse to give up . I continue to walk and am up to 3-4 miles a day now. . My body has became toner and I feel so much better. Ask your husband he if he could be more supportive and when you ask him for a treat he can say not this time or maybe even give you 1/2 of what you normally would eat . Just stick with it do not give up You can do this !

verptwerp

Baby steps work just fine ....... write down a few things that you ARE willing to do to get healthy ....... and then do them ...... next week write down a few more things ..... and then do them ...... see a pattern here ???

Make the healthiest choices possible at EACH meal & snack ......... drink water ......take your measurements weekly (as weight loss isn't just about numbers on a scale) ...... take "before & during" photos ....... drink more water ..... tell your hubby NOT to give you any more treats, no matter how much you beg ....... and plan on a NON-FOOD treat for every 10 lbs lost !

And yes ...... SUGAR IS NOT OUR FRIEND (neither are any of its little buddies) ...... I should know, it's an every day battle for me :laugh:

Best of luck to you !

marhod5

You can do this. I'm doing it, and I have nearly 200 pound to lose. I would recommend setting MFP for a 2 pounds per week loss. That's what mine is set on. As I lose weight, MFP reduces my daily calories to keep me at 2 pounds per week. But it's plenty of food for me. If MFP is telling you to eat 2000 or 2200 calories, try it. But make sure you count every morsel that goes into your mouth. Get out the measuring cups and the scale and weigh and measure every serving. I was shocked at portion sizes! I had no idea what a real serving was, but I am learning.

Also, you have to find an exercise you can live with. If you like the pool (which would be easy on your joints), invest in that drive! Who cares how far it is? You are saving your life! Plan to go 3 or 4 times a week. In a few months, your weight will be down and you may feel like walking more, or doing some other exercise. Then you can cut down on the drives. There are lots of "sittercise" workouts, where you do all of the moves from a chair. I've checked some out from my library, and they got me sweating! If you can't hold a dumbbell, try some weighted gloves. They don't have to be gripped. But if you are like me, my arms are so big, they are weights all by themselves!

Most of all, be consistent. Try to hit your calorie goal every day. Try to move more every day. Drink plenty of water. These simple steps will help you see big changes on the scale. I also find it very helpful to read the message boards. The Success Stories is my favorite. It's so motivating! Lots of people have lost large amounts of weight. Lots of people have overcome health problems, or lost weight in spite of them. You can too! Don't give up!

ahclay

Thanks. No, you do not sound mean. I just hurt everywhere.

ahclay

Does anyone know where I can get one of those calorie tracker armbands that will go around my huge arms?

ahclay

you may be attracted to the strong emotion of being angry at yourself.

WHOA! This one really made me think. I'm addicted to some emotion, that is true. Not sure if that is the one. Must think about it. I do tend to do my emotional eating when I am angry. I do angry eating, not sad or happy eating.

ahclay

Thanks everyone. They ARE excuses, but they are also reasons. I like the suggestion to swim until I can walk without pain. Also love yoga. Thanks for the link! I also like dancing and don't care when it hurts my feet.

I have flat feet, and when I do try to walk, just around WalMart like I did yesterday, it's really easy to injure myself. It is not true that one can always walk. But it is true that one can always do something. Thanks for your suggestions.

JanetP124

Hi

Well there is a bunch going on here.

I'm going to start with the pain from exercising and the arthritis. In my view this is a pretty important issue because you are pretty young to be experiencing such debilitating pain. This needs to be addressed now because it is not going to improve on it's own and if you don't solve this, you are at a huge risk of being wheelchair bound at a pretty young age.

I would suggest consulting with a Doctor, and asking about perhaps physical therapy. I know you said the pool is a good drive away, but perhaps it would be worth it at this time if you could participate in some water exercise/aerobics in order to improve muscle tone and exercise in a safer manner. Getting the weight off your joints is going to be a huge key in protecting your health through the coming years.

I have a feeling your optimal number of calories probably lies somewhere between 1200 and your current levels. The pain right now is probably keeping you from being active, which is going to reduce your metabolism. At the same time, being at a point where you have to have food locked away from you speaks toward some issues there which you are going to have to solve mentally.

Cindyinpg

Go to the bodymedia.com site directly and email or call them with your arm measurements and they will let you know what you need. The BMF armbands are fantastic and give you a very clear idea of what you are burning everyday, so you know what you can have to do to create the deficit you need. They are also very motivational in that you can try and beat past "personal bests" I have consistently lost an average of 2lbs a week since buying mine in Feb. I find it every bit as valuable as this website!

ahclay

I'm sure the restaurants where you put the pounds on, tally up to a lot more than 40 mins return. Just a thought.

Try not to assume. I got this fat by sitting on my bottom and eating too much, but it wasn't in restaurants. I eat out about four times a year.

amruden

Whem I'm bored..or its to hot, heck some times I just can't escape my children.
Youtube has wonderful..short/long/funny workout videos.

Love doing the ones from the 80s just for some Kicks and giggles. :-)

Lots of yoga on there too!

empresskelly68

I'm so totally with you about walking not being doable because it's hot. I live in AZ and at 8am it's already over 100. The energy goes right out of me when it's like this. But the reality is, I just do it. For me what gets me out is having a dog that needs to go for walks every day, twice a day. So I get up as early as I can and just go. It becomes a habit if you can do it for 30 days.

And yeah restaurants are a killer. That's when I stop making any progress -- when I find myself eating out all the time.

ahclay

I'm going to start with the pain from exercising and the arthritis. In my view this is a pretty important issue because you are pretty young to be experiencing such debilitating pain. This needs to be addressed now because it is not going to improve on it's own and if you don't solve this, you are at a huge risk of being wheelchair bound at a pretty young age.

I would suggest consulting with a Doctor, and asking about perhaps physical therapy. I know you said the pool is a good drive away, but perhaps it would be worth it at this time if you could participate in some water exercise/aerobics in order to improve muscle tone and exercise in a safer manner. Getting the weight off your joints is going to be a huge key in protecting your health through the coming years.

Thank you. It's nice to be understood. I just had surgery on my thumb because of the pain, and I'm set to have the other hand done next year. I really, really want to avoid knee surgery, so I love the idea of exercising in the pool. Did that for a while and enjoyed it. Thanks again.

twelker878

52. Yep, I will be 52 in the fall. I used to experience terrible knee pain and have been diagnosed with avascular necrosis (a severe form of arthritis depriving the bones of oxygen.) I will need to have both knees replaced some day. I was on pain pills and did NO exercise. Then I had a stroke at the age of 49. My life had to change. I had to drop the excuses and start exercising. I started walking outside every day. When winter came and it got too cold, I , went onto utube and found many walking videos and started them. Eventually I worked up to Jillian Michals work outs and jogging. The more exercise I did, the more weight I lost and the better everything felt. I now do a 3.5 mile run/walk almost every day. Get up early before it's hot, and outside is no problem. I am off the pain pills, and have not had shots in my knees since last Sept. You need to just start. Make it a priority. And then, maybe allow yourself that treat as a reward for the exercise. You can do this. Friend request me if you would like, and Good luck