My Bad Situation Right Now!

fatty2sixpack

I have no motivation or drive when it comes to my health. I know I am obese and if I don't improve my health that I will die before I become an elderly person. Even with all that information I don't push myself to workout or even just move more and I don't push myself to eat healthier either. I never give up trying to lose weight because deep down inside I want to live a life of pleasure. I don't want to sit in the house for the rest of my life. I want to feel the pleasures of life. I know that in order to experience pleasures of life I need to lose weight I also don't want to disappoint and let down and my family and even knowing that a part of me just wants to say *kitten* it and just slowly rot away in my bed because I know that it's going to take time maybe even 2 or 3 years. I think that knowing that is part of the reason why don't push myself that much. I tried to push myself but the first sign of exhaustion or difficulty I usually give up or postpone my attempt to lose weight. I feel like just sitting in my bed all day every day and I usually do that. I tell myself I should work out today but I don't and when I eat unhealthy I think to myself why did I eat that? I wasn't hungry and I didn't crave it so badly that I just gave into eating it. No, I ate it because it was there and I remembered that it tasted good or cuzI was boredom eating. Also I don't control myself when I eat even when i have the strength to. No, I just keep on eating more unhealthy things everyday. I don't try at all.  I don't want to end up on the My 600 lb. Life tv show or not be able to get out of the bed at all either. I want to go to water parks and go on rides at amusement parks. I want to do all kinds of things like bungee jumping or skydiving but I don't feel that drive or desire in me anymore. I never give up butt I feel like if I don't keep pushing myself that I'll just give in to the person that says *kitten* it and when my brother mother and father or any family member try to push me to do something and improve my health and weight loss I'll tell them to *kitten* off and say sorry but I don't care about my health or losing weight that much and I don't care when I die from being obese. I don't want to become that person but I'm constantly fighting from being that kind of person because I do want to do all kinds of things in life but I don't have a strong enough motivation or drive to push myself. I even think about punishing myself just to see if that will push me to get up and move. Currently I'm trying to figure out a way to make myself accountable so that my family will know that I workout each day by video taping myself so they would know when they come home that I did it cuz I think that that would probably be the only way that I would keep on pushing myself to workout each day because I don't want to disappoint my family. I don't know if that can become a constant thing or a long-term thing cuz I have no motivation, perseverance, persistence, determination nothing that would make me say I have to do this, I need to do this.Nothing that will push me to workout everyday or improve my eating. I don't want to become that person that tells their family to *kitten* off and say to them I don't care I don't want to give in to that person that doesn't care about living who's obese and knows it saying I'm sorry but it's just the way I am and I'm going to always be like this. But still even knowing this I still can tell you right now that I have no drive and no motivation to workout. I am even considering not doing the video tape accountability idea. I might even closing all my social network accounts because I mentioned I was going to lose weight and I was on a fat loss journey. That's my situation right now.

ThatJohanna

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it may seem like an impossible uphill battle but you can do it. The first thing to address though is your state of mind, it seems to me that you're very depressed. I know when I set out to be healthier I do best with a positive outlook. It would do you good to get into counseling or a support group where you physically have to leave the house. I wish you luck but until you rid yourself of the defeatism you won't ever truly WANT to change your situation.

Rushbrook60

Wow! I really feel for you! The fact that you've put this into writing for the world to see tells me you want it. I'm bordering 20st myself and it's taken me a really long time to get myself into gear. I hit a rut when doing weight Watchers and it wasn't until I saw myself in the mirror one day realised just how bad it had gotten, that I felt sickened by the sight that I realised the time was NOW to fix it. Sometimes people have these moments and that was mine along with the fact that I didn't want my partner being disgusted by me and not wanting physically.

My biggest help is pre-planning. Every Saturday I sit down with my partner and write a list of dinners and lunches we will have the following week. I then build my shopping list around it and do the shop on the Sunday morning. When I get home, I prepare as much as I can, ie. Washing and cutting fresh vegetables, making the next days lunch. I find this makes my week easier to get through because I know what meals I can chose to cook from and know I have all the ingredients available at home. I also find that it means I'm less inclined to reach for the takeaway menu because I know everything I need is already at home and I haven't got to spend ages deciding what to cook each night.

I hope this helps in some way. I really wish you all the best.

tulips_and_tea

So sorry to hear you are in such a bad place right now, but you CAN overcome it! It may seem insurmountable right now, and as you mentioned, it may take 2 or 3 years to lose the amount you want to lose but guess what? That time is going to pass anyway. How about just start making small changes and 2 or 3 years down the road you will be so proud of yourself for doing so.

Don't overwhelm yourself with a rigid, strict workout routine. Just walk. Up and down the block or a couple steps - whatever you can do.

Don't over haul your diet all at once. Keep eating the food you are now, but less of it. You already are aware that you are eating out of boredom so knowing the source is a great first step! Make a list of things you can do immediately to alleviate the boredom that don't involve food. Tell yourself you will try one or two things on the list and then if you are in fact hungry you can eat. The food will always be there. You don't HAVE to eat it simply because it's available.

Food is fuel for your body. It needs a specific amount (according to your own personal stats) to run at an optimum level. Think of it as you would a medication: the medication is good because it helps with whatever ailment you're taking it for but do you take the whole bottle all at once? No, you only take the specific amount that is healthy for you.

Hang in there and connect with people here. You are NOT alone and you CAN do this!