What to do when spouse doesn't support weight loss?

dwatson925

I have been trying to make some changes to lose weight and become healthier. Spouse is not supportive of changes. Anyone else face this issue?

DanSTL82

What reason does he/she have to not support you? Are they afraid of you becoming more attractive and leaving them, possibly? I've heard of that fear before.

jgnatca

Passive resistance or active protester? Any sabotage?

Hubby wasn't ready when I was but he did not get in my way when I made my changes. Even if it meant I was out of the house three times a week. He liked the healthy food choices, even as he maintained his personal stash of cookies.

I have come to appreciate how his quiet support really did help. I now can outrun him. But he is also starting to make healthier decisions and he is better for it.

I figure in a relationship if there is resistance, have a conversation about it. What is the fear?

Wolfena

There can be various reasons they don't support you.... the one I have seen most common is because the person trying to lose weight tries to force the spouse into their new lifestyle when they either are not yet ready, or plain out don't want to.

Also, changing your eating and exercise lifestyle changes your relationship with them - especially if you have been eating and having poor habits together. They feel the relationship is going to be different (bad) because it's the unknown.

Anyway, to answer your question - if the issues are as above, don't push them into what they don't want to do, assure them you still want them around and find ways to integrate them into your new lifestyle without changing drastically **if you always cooked together, then cook new recipes at home, just healthier versions - you can also still eat out together, just order better choices for yourself- and don't take all your extra time to exercise, if you've been a couch potato together forever - make sure you still find time to sit, watch and snuggle... eventually they'll understand and accept the change (and maybe even join in!)

MalcolmX1983

Ignore her and keep on doing what you're doing.
Make the changes that are good for you, explain that you'd like her support but you'll do it alone if you have to.
Sounds like some passive aggressive bs.
She'll be coming round when you start making some good gains.