Right intentions...wrong wording.

freyaheart
freyaheart Posts: 220 Member
in Motivation and Support
I went out to lunch with my parents today and after some normal conversation my father say to me "I am not trying to be mean or facetious but I can tell you are losing weight but you haven't really lost any in the front."

To which my mother corrects him saying that I have lost a lot of weight but ultimately agrees on my tummy refusing to shrink.

They both go into a conversation saying what I should do at the gym to try to get rid of it. Crunches, sit-ups, rowing machine, so on and so forth.

I really did not want to get into all the things I have read online saying that there is no such thing as spot reduction and that doing strength training is good but I have to burn off the fat first.

I am just so frustrated with their psudo-advice and it is really starting to get me down. Why won't my tummy just go away!!!

Replies

  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
    You're right, you can't spot reduce. Typically the first place you gain, is the very very very last place you lose. I happen to gain in my hips as I'm a pear shape, so everything else shrinks first; arms, neck, stomach ect. Everyone is different.

    Once you get closer to your goal weight, you'll see, it'll go away.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    The problem isn't your stomach. The problem is your folk's rudeness in nit-picking at your body, your efforts, and in giving you advice which is incorrect.

    Patience in the meantime. And maybe a smile and nod when they start up on that. You know your doing the work, you'll have results.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Just keep losing weight and your stomach will go away. In the meantime, ignore the various bystanders and their comments. I'm sure your parents mean well but, as you know, they're just spouting off with common "wisdom" that isn't so wise.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Meh. Ignore it. As you go continue with your weight loss many well meaning folks will offer you crap advice, from starvation diets to cleanses to dumb exercises to crap supplements. Just nod politely and smile while all the meaningless words float right on by your head. I've learned there's not much use in trying to educate everyone in the world and I'm damn sure not going to let them bring me down or slow my progress.

    They did agree that you are losing weight. Take that for the compliment that it is and leave the rest. So many people wait so long to hear encouraging words like that and it would be a shame if all you took from it is that your stomach is still big or you should do more crunches or whatever.
  • Katkamm77
    Katkamm77 Posts: 108 Member
    I don't know your parents but, most want the best for their children. Your dad should have just stopped at,"I can tell you are losing weight" and left it at that. That would have been wonderful. Mom, didn't help. I know it's hurtful but, unfortunately, families can be tactless sometimes. That's why I think, sometimes, it's better not to tell anyone when you're trying to lose. Let them realize it on their own. Of course, then they'll ask you if you're sick. LOL
    Years ago, I had lost 20lbs. and was so happy and my good "friend" said, "Don't be so happy. It's probably just water." :P
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    I'm sorry they were so rude and tactless. My husband's aunt recently told me that I had begun to look like my former MIL, who was morbidly obese. Unfortunately, looking at photos, she was right.

    But I'm still not visiting her again. I don't need another dose of her wisdom.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    The problem isn't your stomach. The problem is your folk's rudeness in nit-picking at your body, your efforts, and in giving you advice which is incorrect.

    Patience in the meantime. And maybe a smile and nod when they start up on that. You know your doing the work, you'll have results.
    This^^

    And sorry your folks were so insensitive
  • freyaheart
    freyaheart Posts: 220 Member
    I am guessing that when people know you are trying to lose weight they expect you to be a size 2 by tomorrow.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    Watch what they're eating and then give them some " friendly" suggestions of what they could be eating instead :tongue: just kidding..

    Nod and smile ( and do the queen's wave) if it helps:flowerforyou:
  • marcimlarson
    marcimlarson Posts: 54
    The problem isn't your stomach. The problem is your folk's rudeness in nit-picking at your body, your efforts, and in giving you advice which is incorrect.

    Patience in the meantime. And maybe a smile and nod when they start up on that. You know your doing the work, you'll have results.
  • freyaheart
    freyaheart Posts: 220 Member
    Watch what they're eating and then give them some " friendly" suggestions of what they could be eating instead :tongue: just kidding..

    Nod and smile ( and do the queen's wave) if it helps:flowerforyou:

    The queens's wave! lol. Love it.

    Don't get me started on what they are eating.
  • marcimlarson
    marcimlarson Posts: 54
    dont worry- you are on your way. it IS a SLOW process. But even still, it is happening. dont give up- its on its way. dont be familiar discouraged- its on its way. obviously- you are making great strides!
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    You know better than anyone what you are doing is right for you. Keep on smiling and do what is right for you.
    Sometimes it is frustrating for us all. Come here to vent. There are always people here that can relate and support us when we need it most!
  • cutieryan
    cutieryan Posts: 20 Member
    Some people say the crappiest things in the name of "helping" My dad used to suggest that I chew my food up until it was mush and spit it back into a cup. No joke. I was 15. I understand now that he was trying to help in his own extremely idiotic way and didn't really want me to develop the sort of eating disorder he was suggesting. Keep going and you'll eventually see your tummy shrink and you won't care what they think anymore.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    maybe it's time your parents met lil ms. sarcastic. saying things like "wow why didnt i think of that?" "gym? i dont know what that is. can you tell me more?"

    that's honestly the least rude way i know to address that. but generally speaking even when it comes to parents i think adults should respect each other and speak to each other respectfully. it's up to you to let them know when they are being disrespectful
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
    Tell them you're so happy they're volunteering to show you how it's done at the gym! They've obviously done this before, so as experts they ought to lead the way! Grab your workout gear and lets go! :laugh:
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    Where the weight comes off first (and last) varies from individual to individual and is largely genetic. So basically what I'm trying to say is that if you're looking for somewhere to point the finger you could try blaming your parents for giving you genes that mean you retain weight on your stomach hahaha.

    Only half kidding. Just keep plugging away with the weight loss and you'll eventually see the weight start to come off your stomach. We all have these stubborn areas

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