Low Self Worth

lruff1987

I've been having a really hard time lately with extremely low self worth. I was doing really well for awhile with positive thoughts and taking care of myself and losing weight... But I've spiraled back down to hating myself and sabotaging my success. I can't even look at my body without feeling disgust and extreme sadness. Story of my life... I've been through this cycle many times! I just want to get back to a place where I'm loving who I am. The rest follows when you're loving yourself - the exercise, the balanced eating, etc.
I don't really know what I'm after by posting this... I don't need anyone to tell me what to do or how to do it. I know all of that. I guess if anyone else struggles with self-loathing, you could share how you cope?

SoozeE512

I know the feeling, and when I see myself spiraling, I start asking myself, "Why now? When did my feelings start going in the wrong direction? What was the trigger or cause of it? How can I set things right? What has helped before?"

So basically, when self-loathing kicks in, I take a lot of time to self-reflect to sort through my feelings. It usually helps me to see where things went off course and figure out how to make the necessary changes to get back on a positive track.

I hope you come through for yourself!

lruff1987

I was just thinking that I need to "journal out" the feelings. I'm a big fan of art journaling so I may have to hit that up and detox my emotions onto paper. @SoozeE512

SoozeE512

@lruff1987 I never thought to combine art and journaling together, but they are both very therapeutic. Neat idea!

NaturalNancy

Can u list or think about 5 things you love about yourself? Then list or think about 5 things you're grateful for?
They can be simple things... or whatever you want... Gratitude often brings about more happy feelings and helps to break the cycle of self loathing. Some days are harder than others.
But you can totally change your thinking.

shadowfax_c11

In my observation self worth is not about how you look, how much you weigh or what you have. It is about what you do and who you are. Your character not your reputation.

So what do you do that makes you feel good about yourself? How much do you put into developing yourself. Your personal values. The kind of person you are. Your work ethic. The little things about you that your friends appreciate every day but that to you seem so normal and ordinary that you don't realise just how special you really are.

I find that things like knowing I am really good at my job. Working to be the best I can possibly be at whatever it is I am doing makes me feel good. I know that as a student my sensei values me highly. I am not the most talented martial artist there is by far but I am dedicated and serious and I show up and help new students even when I am tired and sore. I know that there are horses that without me would probably not have been able to keep their homes due to issues that my unique abilities helped them to overcome. I know that I have sometimes provided a person in need with an ear to hear them and sometimes even advice that proved helpful.

I might not be the best person at a thing ever, but I know that for me I am as good today as I can be and tomorrow will try to be better. Sometimes I make mistakes but I try to see them as educational experiences and not utter failures. My accomplishments may not seem to be all that much in the grand scheme of things but I know that in lots of little ways I have made a difference for some person or creature.

Now you might think I must have a lot of self confidence and be really happy. Well I fight with depression and anxiety every day. I often think that because I am not a famous trainer or that my martial abilities are just not as good as some other person that I am insignificant. I have to always remind myself and be reminded that I matter and that no one else can do what I do. My self esteem has been something that I have been working on and building for some years now.

You do things too that no one else can do. You just need to remember what those things are. And you need to keep working on adding to your list of things that you do that make you feel good. And you need to surround yourself with people who will remind you of those things when you are having trouble remembering.

Remember that our of the billions of humans on the planet now and that have ever lived. There has and will only ever be only one you. You are unique in the universe.

KassLamb

I know the feeling all too well. I'm living it now. Unfortunately, I can't tell you how to break the cycle, because if I knew, I wouldn't be in the same boat. What I can tell you is that you aren't in the boat alone.

I've had a string of failures recently. Not just with weight loss, but in my job and in my interpersonal relationships as well. I find myself struggling to find any reason to keep trying other than, "what the hell else am I going to do?" Everything inside me is telling me that I am a failure destined for more failure because failing is just what I do best. The last several times I felt confident about anything, I was dead wrong. Every time I lift my head up, it gets smacked with a 2x4, so why the heck would I want to keep trying? I think the answer is that it really sucks down here, and it's better to fight for a small chance of success than to accept being miserable for the rest of my life. As small as my chances of success may be, they're infinitely better than they would be if I didn't even try. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I fail again and feel crappy about myself? I feel crappy most of the time anyway!

I know it's a really twisted form of optimism, but it's the one that makes the most sense to me.

Mersie1

Sending you all big hugs! I know it sucks- the feelings of worthlessness and sorrow and anxiety. I think coming here to vent and seek support from others shows that you do know ways to care for yourself! Please keep coming here. It's good to know we are not alone!

brb_2013

We are kindred spirits, I broke down in tears just last over these same feelings. I have been spending a lot of energy on planning foods, cooking, logging and exercising to the best of my ability and haven't seen scale progress. I was even up a pound today and I struggle SO hard with not just giving up and being fat forever.

The biggest problem for me it seems that I cannot forgive myself for regaining weight. I lost it fast and with very little care for my overall well being, I shouldn't be surprised that I regained but I feel like that level of dedication just isn't in me anymore. I'm having this struggle most days, feeling ugly and awful does not motivate me to exercise.

But I spoke with my husband at length about our plan and I guess I just don't have the patience he does. But he talked about trying to take the pressure off, so we have been buying little to no junk food, lots of veggies at dinner, and now we are going to begin working on portion control for us both. It's helpful but I still feel like all my efforts are worthless and so am I.

For next week my plan is to make my plan no negotiable. I will do my cardio 3days a week before work, I WILL lift my weights. And I also will work my hardest at sticking to my calorie goal. If I can manage it for 4 weeks I know I will see progress in my measurements. I already have a little but it just doesn't seem significant given how much I have to go. But also I have to let go of the idea that I will ever have a fantastic body. I can improve it, but I will absolutely have loose skin and significant amounts at that. So body image isn't even a motivator. Idk, I'm rambling now. But I know exactly how you feel.