Partner not helping

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Replies

  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Just break up.


    Seriously, it's the first week. Give it time and keep working on it.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    Ok well honestly... I lost 80 pounds, while my husband probably gained 15.

    If you want it, you'll do it.
  • pebble4321
    pebble4321 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Did he have any input into the meal plan that you set up? I wonder if he's feeling pressured into eating the way you have chosen and is looking for alternatives?

    Either way, you eat what you planned, let him do his own thing. He's an adult, not a child so he gets to choose his own meals even if you consider them crap.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited May 2016
    this is the second thread where mozilla had hosed my responses and doubled posted... sorry folks..
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Rach0792 wrote: »
    It's more that he is trying to pressure me into eating crap and I'm just afraid that one of these days I will crack and just eat something I shouldn't.

    Say no to crap! The more you say no, the more he will stop asking!

    I like what @_waffle says.. just break up.... nahh... What happens if you cave in? What are the consequences?

    Well only you know how to deal with these questions and all you have to do is just say No.. Folks around you will get the hint soon enough, you just need to be stead fast in your goals and not let another person or circumstance derail you!
  • Rach0792
    Rach0792 Posts: 44 Member
    pebble4321 wrote: »
    Did he have any input into the meal plan that you set up? I wonder if he's feeling pressured into eating the way you have chosen and is looking for alternatives?

    Either way, you eat what you planned, let him do his own thing. He's an adult, not a child so he gets to choose his own meals even if you consider them crap.

    Yer we both sat down together and to be honest he did have more input than I did. Although we didn't add in snacks so when he gets hungry I will suggest fruit or something but he will automatically suggest something really high in calories.
  • pebble4321
    pebble4321 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Fair enough, it sounds as though he's just not as committed to the idea of sticking to an eating plan, so you are going to have to practice saying no, or check the menus for an acceptable option.
  • kandeye
    kandeye Posts: 216 Member
    I understand it may feel difficult at first, but you are two different people who can make individual choices. You will have to learn that nobody is pressuring you to do anything, if you don't want a certain food, don't eat it. It's a part of life to make choices. Last night my boyfriend wanted a root beer float. Man did that sound good, but I literally had no calories left so I did without. It didn't bother me that he wanted it, in fact I made it for him. Today I'm leaving room for some ice cream because I want it. As time goes on find the dynamic that works for you guys, maybe you aren't the type of couple that can easily lose weight together.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited May 2016
    I_Will_End_You wrote: »
    There really is nothing that you shouldn't eat, unless you are allergic to it, it's spoiled, fell on the ground, etc. You can eat take out, it's okay. Just try to log it as accurately as possible and stay within your calorie goal. Weight loss is about the amount of calories you eat, not where the calories come from. Having a few pieces of pizza or some sesame chicken is fine, just don't over do it.
    This is perfect. Relaxed and flexible. And, stress-free. Both of you will be happier just weighing your foods, logging the calories and relaxing. Pick a reasonable amount of calories and stick to it.
  • nixxthirteen
    nixxthirteen Posts: 280 Member
    For the most part, my SO and I eat the same things but my portions are tweaked to fit my specific needs.

    We have the same breakfast, but I eat one piece of toast folded into a half sandwich, while he has 2 pieces of bread.

    Lunch time, we have lean meat sandwiches, or chicken salad wraps, or frozen entrees occasionally. He just gets more lunchtime snacks than I do because his job is really physical and he gets super hungry.

    At dinner, we split veg and salad 50/50. I weigh out my 100g of rice, and my portion of meat. He plates his own food with however much meat and grains he wants.

    Dessert, I have a 90cal ice cream bar, and his might be 180cal.

    IF we go to McDonalds, he gets fries but I get a garden salad with my meal. He gets crispy chicken wraps, I go for grilled.

    Basically, as long as I'm taking care of my own needs and eating enough for myself, I don't care what he eats. Granted, my SO is careful not to pig out if he thinks I may be out of calories and jealous hahah. He's thoughtful and considerate, so I don't stop him from eating the things HE wants. We went out for 900cal burritos recently because he had a craving, and I just ate half of mine. Compromise :).

    My one piece of advice is, pre-cook in large batches. That way he can grab takeaway on the way home and you've got a delicious healthy meal that just needs to be heated up. No one wants to cook after a long day, which is why convenience food seems like such a good idea. Try to stop that BEFORE it happens by being prepared. I like cooking up tons of chicken breast pieces in some spice, because it goes great thrown into a tortilla with some toppings and tzatziki. And veg side dishes, like roasted asparagus, take 15 min in the oven tops.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Rach0792 wrote: »
    I consider "crap" to be things like pizza and burgers from pizza places or McDonald's or KFC. I know I could go for a 'healthier option' but that's not really what I want to do.
    Research the calorie counts at those places to find good options for you.
    Ask your partner to compromise with you by limiting the take-away to three days a week.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    i eat pizza and sometimes pasta and still eat at a deficit. i don't eat burgers or chicken as i'm a vegetarian, but if i did, i'd have a periodic burger and probably still stay within my calories.

    sounds like your partner is a person who likes planning stuff more than actually following through, at least in this case. do you have to eat the same food for meals?
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    stick with it and be a good example for him. Maybe several months from now he will see how much weight you've lost and he will then be ready to lose his weight too. You are going to be around food that you're going to have to resist sometimes. I manage to lose weight with a 6'5" construction working boyfriend who eats as much as an olympic athlete. Also you can get take out every now and then too. You can find lower calorie options or work it into your calorie budget.

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