Ready to give up!

wickedmaineah

Started this in April at 234 lbs. Doing it with my husband and we both log and weigh our food to the exact ounce. I am eating at a 1400 calories and not eating back exercise calories. I work out daily. Often just the treadmill due to time caring for the kids and the house, but doing over 2 miles a day. Husband only runs on the treadmill 3 times a week. I got down to 224.8, but it went back up and i hover around 228. Husband loses 5 lbs a week!
I feel completely defeated! I drastically changed my eating habits for the better. I plan a whole days meals first thing in the morning and often have a 500+ calorie deficit. So why am I not losing?

kommodevaran

As a rule, men lose faster than women. As a rule, don't compare yourself to others. Weight fluctuates naturally. You can see a gain on the scales even though you do everything correctly. Have realistic expectations. Don't do 180 degrees on food intake. Adjust habits gradually. Be patient.

Or, of course, you can quit, that's totally up to you.

ForeverSunshine09

As teachers use to say in school "keep your eyes on your own paper". Everyone loses differently and you are losing so stop worrying about what he is getting and doing. My husband gets to eat twice as much as I do and lose 2 lbs a week while I lose half a lb. It is what it is.

vespiquenn

It should be noted though that your loss so far is a sustainable rate where as your husband's isn't a horribly safe rate of loss, if he really is losing 5lbs a week, even just starting out. So you are doing well; just don't compare yourself to others. It's your journey, not theirs.

Lucy1752

That's still a 6 pound net loss in only 3 weeks so 2 pounds per week average which is great.
Women have so many variables...TOM, sodium, etc...that going by hubs loss is being totally unfair to yourself.
Keep being honest with your food measurements. And realistic about your calorie burn from the treadmill.
You will succeed.

wickedmaineah

I know men lose alot faster. They are definitely lucky in thay respect.
Frustrating my weight continues to go up when i am even doing more now than when i started.
I changed my diet, but to one i could maintain long term.
And i am not quitting, but it makes me think why continue when there is no change. Self defeating i know but sometimes cant stop the thought.

JeromeBarry1

Weighing 'to the ounce' is not accurate enough. Get the scale to weigh 'to the gram'. Besides, like the lady said, losing 6 lb in a month is a very good accomplishment. Do it again.

wickedmaineah

vespiquenn wrote: »

How are you measuring your food or your calorie burns? Often people believe they are in a deficit, but are using inaccurate methods of logging such as using measuring cups, relying solely on serving sizes on packages without weighing, or taking exercise equipment calorie burns as a for sure thing. If you are not losing, you are eating more than you think. It's realistically as simple as that. Make sure you are using a food scale and only eating 50-85% of your exercise calories.

We weigh it in ounce on our scale. Strangely i stopped really losing weight when we started weighing our food. Maybe i should decrease more. My bmr is 1739.
I do record my nordic tracs calories burned info, but i do not eat any of the calories back.

emdeesea

Weigh your food on a food scale and log your calories that way. Don't know if you're doing that but you've got to do that. EDITED: Sorry, I completely glossed over that part of your post. I see you do that. My coffee has not kicked in yet.

And yeah - don't compare your loss with a man's. They naturally have a lot more muscle than we do so they will lose faster.

Be prepared to do this for a while and don't give up. It's taken me 2.5 years to lose almost 60 pounds. Never would have done it if I had gotten frustrated and quit.

wickedmaineah

Its been 4 weeks. Maybe time to step up the treadmill a bit.

vespiquenn

wickedmaineah wrote: »

vespiquenn wrote: »

How are you measuring your food or your calorie burns? Often people believe they are in a deficit, but are using inaccurate methods of logging such as using measuring cups, relying solely on serving sizes on packages without weighing, or taking exercise equipment calorie burns as a for sure thing. If you are not losing, you are eating more than you think. It's realistically as simple as that. Make sure you are using a food scale and only eating 50-85% of your exercise calories.

We weigh it in ounce on our scale. Strangely i stopped really losing weight when we started weighing our food. Maybe i should decrease more. My bmr is 1739.
I do record my nordic tracs calories burned info, but i do not eat any of the calories back.

I actually just saw that and deleted that part of my post due to misreading. However, as someone stated above, ounces is better than nothing, but still not as accurate as grams. Because you are indeed losing, you have to remember that weightloss is not linear. Some weeks you lose, some you gain, and some you stay the same. If anything, I think you would benefit from reflecting on your goals and expectations, because I think they might be a bit unrealistic or drastic if you already feel like quitting.

goldthistime

I find that reviewing the numbers helps me. I tend to lose faster than I expected to in the beginning, (or after a diet break), and then lose slower than I expected to (or even regain). In other words it's a dehydration/water retention thing.

kommodevaran

wickedmaineah wrote: »

I know men lose alot faster. They are definitely lucky in thay respect.
Frustrating my weight continues to go up when i am even doing more now than when i started.
I changed my diet, but to one i could maintain long term.
And i am not quitting, but it makes me think why continue when there is no change. Self defeating i know but sometimes cant stop the thought.

Yeah, but men also have (or should have) a lower body fat % (to be healthy), and the typical male pattern of abdominal fat deposits is considered dangerous, whereas "female" fat on hips and thighs is basically a cosmetic issue. I don't know what luck has to do in this equation.

If you can't maintain your diet long term, you're setting yourself up for failure. Find a diet and exercise regimen you can and will stick to. This is crucial.

And I definitely support the suggestion of weighing in grams, not ounces

Change will be slooooow, and take a loooong time to be visible. That doesn't mean you aren't making progress. If you weren't doing anything, you'd gain weight instead.

There isn't much more you can do than eat right, move more and be patient. Success depends on your being patient and realistic.

Rocknut53

I would hope that you would be in this for the long haul, not just a temporary attempt to attain a certain number. If you quit now, which I have done repeatedly over the past 40 (yes 40!) years you'll will wake up one day and realize time is limited and that you've wasted the best years of your life. If you are not losing with what you are doing now your food logging is off. As others have said, your loss so far is sustainable, your husband's, maybe not so much. Just keep plugging away, it will happen.

emdeesea

wickedmaineah wrote: »

vespiquenn wrote: »

How are you measuring your food or your calorie burns? Often people believe they are in a deficit, but are using inaccurate methods of logging such as using measuring cups, relying solely on serving sizes on packages without weighing, or taking exercise equipment calorie burns as a for sure thing. If you are not losing, you are eating more than you think. It's realistically as simple as that. Make sure you are using a food scale and only eating 50-85% of your exercise calories.

We weigh it in ounce on our scale. Strangely i stopped really losing weight when we started weighing our food. Maybe i should decrease more. My bmr is 1739.
I do record my nordic tracs calories burned info, but i do not eat any of the calories back.

I doubt the weighing food had anything to do with your not losing. More than likely, your initial weight loss was water, which is usually quite a lot at first. Then the body readjusts; fat loss takes longer.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

TxTiffani

The time will pass anyway, we can choose to spend that time getting closer to our ultimate goal or further away;)

Also, weight loss is not linear and someone put this pic up at one point and I saved it

knelson095

tiffanifair wrote: »

The time will pass anyway, we can choose to spend that time getting closer to our ultimate goal or further away;)

Also, weight loss is not linear and someone put this pic up at one point and I saved it

I love this illustration. I can tell when one's coming soon for me because the fat in certain places gets pebbly and weird.

OP, I know how frustrating this process can be, but I swear if you keep doing everything right, it will come off. I've been sitting at 181 for almost 2 weeks now, and in that time I have had a 500 calorie deficit every day. I am also bloated, so I know it will come off when it darn well pleases. I started about where you are right now, 223lbs, in the end of July last year. It's not a fast process, but it's very rewarding.

And don't compare yourself to your husband. Mine lost over 5 lbs while he was underway for 3 weeks, on accident. He didn't believe me when I said he looked thinner, but sure enough, I was right. He said he had been really lazy the whole time, so it baffled him. He has very little weight to lose (BMI 22) and it still happened. It's just easier for them sometimes.

wickedmaineah

knelson095 wrote: »

tiffanifair wrote: »

The time will pass anyway, we can choose to spend that time getting closer to our ultimate goal or further away;)

Also, weight loss is not linear and someone put this pic up at one point and I saved it

I love this illustration. I can tell when one's coming soon for me because the fat in certain places gets pebbly and weird.

OP, I know how frustrating this process can be, but I swear if you keep doing everything right, it will come off. I've been sitting at 181 for almost 2 weeks now, and in that time I have had a 500 calorie deficit every day. I am also bloated, so I know it will come off when it darn well pleases. I started about where you are right now, 223lbs, in the end of July last year. It's not a fast process, but it's very rewarding.

And don't compare yourself to your husband. Mine lost over 5 lbs while he was underway for 3 weeks, on accident. He didn't believe me when I said he looked thinner, but sure enough, I was right. He said he had been really lazy the whole time, so it baffled him. He has very little weight to lose (BMI 22) and it still happened. It's just easier for them sometimes.

Thank you very much! I felt so defeated by the comments and how I was feeling until I read yours. My goal is 180 lbs. I can get there but I have got to find a better more long term way. I have two special needs children who depend on me and I have been sick and exhausted every day that it makes it hard to care for them. Going to actually up my calories (cant believe I am saying that until I get to a point that it doesnt affect my energy and keep at the treadmill. Once I feel at a good spot with my intake I will up my activity and then start to decrease calories. I went from probably 2500+ a day to 1200. Then tp still not see the way drop drastically I mentally defeated myself. I definitely need smaller steps.

emdeesea

1,200 calories a day is way too low for most people to eat. I don't even eat 1,200 - I'd pass out after a few days of that.

Check out this calculator to see how much you can eat and still lose weight. http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

I'm fairly certain you could probably still eat around 1,800 a day and lose about a pound a week.

middlehaitch

You mention you don't eat back your exercise calories. You mention you are sick and exhausted every day.

MFP is set up so your basic calories includes your deficit. You are supposed to eat back any exercise calories to ensure you have the energy to perform daily activities at your normal level and exercise. Not eating them back can often lead to your daily activity level dropping so you can perform your exercise. This will eventually lead to you needing less calories for daily activity and your weight loss may stall.

The better approach is to log as accurately as you can and to include your exercise calories. If you are using a machine or MFP calorie burn estimates start by eating 50-75% back and adjust so you are losing at the rate you set in MFP. ( the above tend to overestimate hence the eating back a portion.

Cheers, h.

dave_in_ni

I started January 1st, down to 1500 cals per day which is well below whats recommended but *kitten* it I said, I wanted results, damn all dropped until mid Feb when I lost 7lbs in 1 week, since then its been a steady 2-4lbs per week. Give it more time.

Montepulciano

@wickedmaineah Also, have you measured yourself? Sometimes you can see improvements with the tape measure when the scale is being snarky.

@tiffanifair Love that illustration!!

85Cardinals

Don't give up, try different things. I know it's tough and can seem impossible at times! Try to keep an open mind and not personalize it too much. It's just dispassionate science, not a conspiracy to keep you down.

Afura

If you give up...then you won't be a better you. How long have you been stalled out for? You said you all started in April, and given your loss you've been stuck 2 weeks maybe? Give it time. Weight loss isn't linear, and the woosh chart is great.
Also, you can up your treadmill time, but really you want to eat back at least some of your calories, because MFP is set up to give you a sustainable loss not accounting for exercise (though it does account for your general activity level).

Dandelie

Do yourself a favor. Measure your successes another way than just with a scale. I have been at this since February. I am at a plateau. I am weighing my food. I am exercising. And what I do is once a month, I measure myself. I haven't lost anything in the last two weeks or so in weight. I measured and I lost 4 inches. It made me feel so much better.

Measure your exercise goals. Measure your food goals. Do something beyond the scale because it means more than just a number on the scale.

Congrats on your loss. You lost something!

godlikepoetyes

When I feel frustrated, I look at my reports and see the downward trend. True, there are a few plateaus and some small gains, but the trend is down, down, down. You can print out your report and tape it to your fridge.

amyepdx

dave_in_ni wrote: »

I started January 1st, down to 1500 cals per day which is well below whats recommended but *kitten* it I said, I wanted results, damn all dropped until mid Feb when I lost 7lbs in 1 week, since then its been a steady 2-4lbs per week. Give it more time.

Ignore this - 1) it's a guy & 2) it's BS

amyepdx

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

when I feel frustrated, I look at my reports and see the downward trend. True, there are a few plateaus and some small gains, but the trend is down, down, down. You can print out your report and tape it to your fridge.

This is what to listen to!