I can't stop gaining weight

Meow112

This past year has been a roller coaster with binge eating. This time last year I weighed 28 pounds less.....I started to binge uncontrollably last year, and when I say binge I am talking a real binge....ordering a large pizza with wings at night and eating that in one sitting, eating a whole box of cereal in one sitting, eating a whole ice cream cake in one sitting, drinking a whole bottle of wine in one sitting, there was one day my calorie intake was over 5,000.....I feel like this is spiraling out of control and with each pound I am gaining I am getting deeper in a hole. I joint Overeaters Anonymous in March..... I keep failing at my food plan, I want this weight off..... I recently bought maternity pants because I can't fit in my other pants. I don't want to go to my sisters baby shower because I am ashamed of what I look like, I know my family will make comments. I have gained 8 lbs in 1 week (I stayed home for a week and just Layed in bed and ate..... And I mean I literally ate..... I made pot roasts, and ate watermelons (in one sitting) I ate around 3,000-5,000 over my limit a day.... And I have been lying to my sponsor from OA.

I am just stuck and I don't know what to do or were to start.

Seffell

I would start by seeing my GP. In my opinion you would benefit from some therapy as this sounds like an emotional problem more than anything.

billmudge59

Best part of your post is that you are in OA. That is the path when overeating turns into an addiction. Sometimes a sponsor gets too close, and you start lying to them to please them. Tell your sponsor you are having trouble being honest and need to change sponsors. It happens all the time, no shame in it at all. Try to turn your feelings of being overwhelmed back to simply dealing with today. Just focus on getting through the moment until all the moments have passed and its time for bed. Good luck!

philippakate197

Oh honey, it sounds like you're really struggling. Huge kudos for trying to do something about it. Have you thought about therapy? It sounds like there may be something behind the binging (I say this because I recognise some of my old behaviour in your post) that isn't just going to go away. If food is a coping strategy therapy could help you find some healthier ones and figure out the stuff in your head.

ashleyjongepier

When I binge I easily do 5k-10k cals so I feel you there. For me I've been finding its from one of two things. If I restrict my calories too low I seem to feel the need to eat everything junky which then triggers a binge. Or something is bothering me emotionally and it triggers it as well.

I would talk to your GP. And stop lying to your sponsor, they are there to help you and have likely been through it as well.

Cherimoose

If you can't get a handle on your behavior, maybe see a mental health professional?

Myjourney2345

I can relate! I binged and regained 12 pounds back, but have since got back on track. My advise to you is to practice self care and force yourself out of the house, I know it can be hard.

Also, what are your trigger foods? Eliminate those immediately. I would also suggest eating at your maintenance level for a week and not restrict your calories. Your first goal is to stop the bingeing, only then should you consider creating a small caloric deficit. I try not to have a deficit greater than 600 calories a day and I eat anywhere between 1,600-2,000 calories and I am 5'4.5, 27, and 142.4 pounds, losing about .8 pounds to a pound a week . I realized that I cannot eat everything in moderation. I cannot have chocolate or artificial sugar as it triggers me to binge. Since eliminating those from my diet and mostly eating clean ( and yes I have experienced withdrawal symptoms), my urge to binge has deceased significantly. I used to think that if I went 100 calories over one day than the entire day was ruined and this rationalized my binges. Now, I eat more, but I also exercise more and if I feel that I need to eat at my maintenance for a day, I do that. It's a daily struggle, but I take it one day at a time and one hour at a time.

Last thing, I know that I am more susceptible to bingeing between 8am-12pm. Since I work from home, I make sure to plan my workouts in the morning and also work out of a coffee shop until 1pm. Also, therapy has helped me years ago to obtain the necessary cognitive tools to combat my urges.

Meow112

billmudge59 wrote: »

Best part of your post is that you are in OA. That is the path when overeating turns into an addiction. Sometimes a sponsor gets too close, and you start lying to them to please them. Tell your sponsor you are having trouble being honest and need to change sponsors. It happens all the time, no shame in it at all. Try to turn your feelings of being overwhelmed back to simply dealing with today. Just focus on getting through the moment until all the moments have passed and its time for bed. Good luck!

I have always been such a people pleaser so want to tell her what she wants to hear.....but I know being honest is 100% important in OA and I haven't been 100% honest.

Myjourney2345

One thing that my therapist suggested is when I feel that a binge is coming and there nothing I do can do to stop it , I should recognize it and have a "controlled binge" where I limit myself to only 1,000 calories of my favorite foods. At the time, it helped get my larger binges under control as I felt that I could have these foods without feeling penalized.

Meow112

philippakate197 wrote: »

Oh honey, it sounds like you're really struggling. Huge kudos for trying to do something about it. Have you thought about therapy? It sounds like there may be something behind the binging (I say this because I recognise some of my old behaviour in your post) that isn't just going to go away. If food is a coping strategy therapy could help you find some healthier ones and figure out the stuff in your head.

I actually do see a counselor! (For my depression and anxiety and for the abuse I encountered when I was a little girl) I also am a member of OA - but I haven't been so honest with my sponsor because I fear she will be angry- but I need to be. Food is always a coping strategy though! I feel as if I get a "high" from certain foods, and comfort.

cmtristani

+1 on the emotional aspect. Without good emotional health, trying to improve your physical health is going to be even harder. Lots of great mental health professionals out there, but you do have to be totally honest with them. They aren't judging you, they want you to improve, and they are best qualified to help.

Lounmoun

I'm going to guess your sponser wants you to be honest, not tell her what you think is good. She is there to help not judge. If she is there then that means she has been through this all too and knows change takes time.
Talk to your counselor and sponsor about developing better non-food emotional coping tools. The problem isn't going away until you get new tools. It isn't just willpower.

MissusMoon

Meow112 wrote: »

philippakate197 wrote: »

Oh honey, it sounds like you're really struggling. Huge kudos for trying to do something about it. Have you thought about therapy? It sounds like there may be something behind the binging (I say this because I recognise some of my old behaviour in your post) that isn't just going to go away. If food is a coping strategy therapy could help you find some healthier ones and figure out the stuff in your head.

I actually do see a counselor! (For my depression and anxiety and for the abuse I encountered when I was a little girl) I also am a member of OA - but I haven't been so honest with my sponsor because I fear she will be angry- but I need to be. Food is always a coping strategy though! I feel as if I get a "high" from certain foods, and comfort.

You definitely need to open up to BOTH your counselor and sponsor. You will get two kinds of help and support by doing this, and you obviously know you need it.

down_41

You are a brave person to express your struggles so honestly. I think more people can relate to you than you realize. They say the first (and hardest) step to conquering any addiction is to admit you are "powerless". You have done that ... BUT, don't be afraid to tell your sponsor the truth. Who knows, she may be secretly binging herself and may need YOUR honesty to bring her back in line! We always imagine people are doing better than we are and quite often it is not true. Part of healing ourselves is to help others heal. Your post has helped me. Thank-you!